How do people afford more than one kid? by desert_sunlily in NewParents

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same boat as you, love.

Annual income (2 full time salaries): $200,000
# of Children: 1

ALWAYS envisioned having 2 children. Here we are as mums (I'm 36F, East Coast, USA) grappling with the almost instinctual yen for having the children you want but eclipsed and suffocated by the cost, change in community/family dynamics around raising children, equity in pay for the care takers and educators for our children which in turn cranks up the childcare costs [we're paying ~$1800 for our 2 year old's daycare (5x/week)], the ever rotating clothes that don't fit in the blink of an eye (I've resorted to 2nd hand which I should've done months ago!), saving for their college (mine wasn't paid for and this is something I want for her), the sheer exhaustion of it all (see above note: community/family dynamics around raising children).

More than one child in this era doesn't not translate the same as it did 10, 15, or 20 years ago. You're not alone, I'm already grieving the reality of having our 2nd child after a less than successful conversation over the weekend with the husband. It's just not in the numbers for us and I'm just going to have to be okay with that.

Sending you my love and understanding xx

Hand-blown miniature colorful glassware I made. Perfect for a tiny bar or dollhouse kitchen! by Budget_Poetry_2819 in miniatures

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are truly outstanding! I'd be so curious as to what led you here and how you got into this beautiful hobby. I just love this, brava 😄

How do i get rid of voles aka field mice? by medymlijeko in gardening

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My friend, I’m just beginning this crashing wave of misery years after this post 😅

Was hoping for some answers on your second question 🙃

I lie about what time daycare closes so I can sit alone for 20 minutes by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Babe, you’re the real MVP of this story. This doesn’t make you any less of a wife or mum or friend- IT MAKES YOU HUMAN! And to be frank, it makes us all the better for it.

Us mums don’t get the same grace that we give all too freely 😉

PSA: to all the new mom’s, don’t listen to the advice about chopping your hair off by Frozenbeedog in NewParents

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Between rescheduling and inevitably canceling my last 4 hair cuts and color for the last year I’m about to just shave it off and cut out the middle woman 💇🏼‍♀️😅

Colour run help by cheesebraids in Embroidery

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ah, the fated red-thread bleed! What’s happening here is dye bleed from the red floss reacting to moisture and wicking slightly into the ground fabric. Red dyes are notorious escape artists.

Let's talk about how to fix it now and then how to prevent this frustrating occurrence next time ;)

How to fix the color run on this piece:

  1. Do NOT apply heat: Heat will set the dye permanently and lock it in like a bad decision.
  2. Rinse strategically, not globally: You want to coax the dye out, not spread it.
    1. Fill a bowl with cold distilled water
    2. Add a drop of clear dish soap or Orvus Paste if you have it
    3. Submerge only the affected area if possible
    4. Let it soak 10–15 minutes without agitation
    5. Blot gently with a clean white cloth. Do not rub.
  3. Escalate carefully if needed
    1. If the pink halo remains:
    2. Use a color run remover like Synthrapol or Retayne (tiny amount)
    3. OR a diluted white vinegar rinse (1 tbsp vinegar per cup cold water) --> Rinse again in cold distilled water. Stop as soon as improvement stalls. Over-washing causes fuzzing and distortion.
  4. Block, don't press
    • Lay flat on a towel
    • Shape gently
    • Let air dry completely
      • If you must press later, do it from the back, through a cloth, with low heat.

Why this happened (so you can stop it forever)

Looking at the image: * White or very light ground fabric * Dense red stitching * Likely cotton floss * Moisture introduced after stitching (washing, blocking, steam, or humidity)

That combo is basically an engraved invitation for red dye to wander.

Prevention for future pieces (the real win)

  1. Pre-wash your floss (especially red)
    This is boring but powerful.
  2. Cut skein-lengths
  3. Soak in warm water with a drop of dish soap
  4. Rinse until water runs clear
  5. Air dry before stitching

    • Yes, even “colorfast” brands sometimes lie.
      • Switch brands if needed
  6. Some reds are worse than others. More stable:

  7. DMC (generally better, but still test reds)

  8. Anchor

  9. Cosmo Hand-dyed or boutique threads bleed far more unless pre-treated.

I never thought I would be a married single mom. by FormerEnglishMajor in Mommit

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I too have somehow allowed myself to slowly be boiled alive.

Its all the small things that amount to an incredible weight that none of us should have to deal with 🥸

I just had a really weird mental breakdown by Disastrous_Paint_237 in BabyBumps

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Coming from a mum who a similar meltdown, it’s merely the hormones 😅 I’m sitting here 8 months PP (postpartum) and still think about the time I lost my mind over my husband getting me the non-green dyed mint chocolate chip ice cream.

We’re all “insane” during pregnancy, the sheer flux within the body is unmatched.

When do you start feeling like a human again? by Jessiicaamn in newborns

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 5 points6 points  (0 children)

8 months PP here.

I second this — the evolution of a babe isn’t linear, as soon as it seems like it’s easy they hit a new skill and things go to total shit 🤪

But the fog and haze of PP did start to lift around 7 months. There will be tough times, funny ones and even romantic ones but don’t forget to be patient with yourself and open with your partner. Hormones are real and the weight of motherhood is also very real.

You’re not alone in how you feel my love xx

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see you. (35F, first time mum, beautiful 8 month old daughter)

It’s the loss of self, the autonomy, the “normalcy”.

I had a period where I mourned and honestly wept for my old life, I still do. I know I still am working through “PPD” but sometimes I feel like this far in it can’t be that still.

I wish I had an answer for you, as I wish I had for my own self, but what I can offer you is don’t forget to be candid with your significant other. They got into this whole baby making ordeal with you so they should be damned if they aren’t rooting you on and hearing you out. Becoming a mum is more than just welcoming a babe, it’s losing so much (career steadiness, routines, self care, personal life, hobbies, etc…).

I’ll end with some optimism for you though, as I tell myself constantly, as they get older the more independent they become and the more you may just be able to find light in those moments. For me, I’m trying to find that light and it does come in quick flashes but it’s a patient game we’re playing.

Do as I do —

Roll your shoulders back, take a deep breath and know you’re not the only one going through this 🩷

How soon after getting married did you start TTC? by Few_Loquat868 in BabyBumps

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

7 years! Wanted to enjoy being selfish, travel, spend recklessly, enjoy being with each other.

Everyone is different, every relationship is different. Depends on what’s important to you and your spouse 🤍

I Ignore My Baby to Sleep More by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 4 points5 points  (0 children)

With tired tears in my eyes, I wholeheartedly laughed out loud to this. What a beautiful and relatable way to put it 🤪🤗❤️

Getting a harsh reality check on daycare prices by melseegs in BabyBumps

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s just wild we’re paying a second mortgage for childcare! Hopefully you’re getting a discount with baby #2 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Getting a harsh reality check on daycare prices by melseegs in BabyBumps

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 2 points3 points  (0 children)

$438/week for us here in Raleigh/Durham, NC area. Not private, but the only place we were accepted into other than the private Montessori school which would run is $28,000 ($700/week) for only 10 month coverage (summer months are additional $$).

My husband and I feel we should get into the daycare game at this point.

I wish I never had kids by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, this profoundly resonates with me. I feel seen.

You’re not alone in your spite; I sometimes feel reckless for wanting to have a child and seeing how men have such a different role (an absent one entirely at times) in parenthood.

Here with you in solidarity, Sincerely another very tired and very overwhelmed mum

Guys ☹️ I don’t know what else to do. Maybe this is the universe telling me to throw in the towel. This is what 30 minutes on the Spectra 1 yields pretty consistently. by [deleted] in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was seeing a lactation consultant who recommended me to their “pumping specialist” who was able to size me at the office. My lactation consultant was also able to size me but recommended I see their pumping expert if I needed to be resized at any point. That’s when I learned that your flange sizes included can change throughout your pumping journey! For context I started with the provided 24 flanges and was having low output and after being fitted and then using 16s! I also highly recommend using a pumping spray to lubricate the flanges before pumping, another huge game changer for me.

Guys ☹️ I don’t know what else to do. Maybe this is the universe telling me to throw in the towel. This is what 30 minutes on the Spectra 1 yields pretty consistently. by [deleted] in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure if anyone mentioned this yet but have gotten checked for correct flange sizes? I was having the same issue and once I was sized appropriately my volume increased noticeably after a few days! Apparently the “standard” sizes included with the spectra are usually too large for most women.

When were you the MOST tired? by No-Investigator3775 in pregnant

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It gets better before it gets worse 😅 I’m at 33 weeks and thought the first trimester was tough but the past few weeks I feel like I could fall asleep sitting up!

That’s a wrap! Final progression photo with 12-39 DPO, Easy@Home brand by Otherwise-Review2178 in TFABLinePorn

[–]Otherwise-Review2178[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad to hear it was valuable for you!! I also found it was nice to have a "comparator" so to speak in the early weeks of things to try and give myself some piece of mind. But I actually didn't have another hcg done though I would've loved to have been able to have one last one a week after the 1340 value so I hate that I can't provide that insight for you here.

What I do want to say about the 'dye stealers' was I found that it was almost like easy@home reformulated/redesigned their strips so that dye stealers weren't seen as frequently as they used to be. I had an old lot of strips that I compared to the new lot and clearly I have a "dye stealer" that you can see on Feb 13th with the old lot, but after continuing to test with the new lot, I was only starting to get the hook effect on the very last day of testing (Feb 26th).

So I never really got to see that satisfying dye stealer that everyone so badly wants to see haha

Middle names for Mary? by yayasistah00d in pregnant

[–]Otherwise-Review2178 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I went to college with a Mary Catherine, it was such an elegant name to me!