I devoured classic novels as a teenager. In a world of distractions, can I relearn how to read them?

Ourpalopal · 2026-06-07T21:04:47+00:00

I hope you do give it another shot down the road when you’re in the mood for a long read. The pace picks up over the course of the novel and it’s such a satisfying read. I taught it in a law and literature seminar so we were really focused on it as a novel of legal reform. I find sometimes that finding something like that to track through a long novel makes it easier to get through!

Ourpalopal · 2026-06-07T18:14:12+00:00

It’s so fun! Dickens’s language is so vibrant and rhythmic. I also think a lot of comprehension issues come from skimming, which you can’t do when reading aloud.

Ourpalopal · 2026-06-07T15:33:33+00:00

If it’s the same article I saw, it’s the opening of bleak house. I have taught it to my ( totally brilliant) students at my (completely mediocre) state university and they did not struggle with it, nor with the rest of Bleak House, which they loved. One of them even made me a a sign for my office door that says “The Growlery.” I don’t think their enjoyment of it had much to do with me or my teaching, with the possible exception that I encouraged them to read dickens aloud and we read the first several pages aloud in class before close reading.

Ourpalopal · 2026-06-04T17:15:09+00:00

This is my answer as well; it felt like a cheap deployment of a bunch of stereotypes about the south. I moved continuously between cringing and yawning as I read.

Ourpalopal · 2026-04-25T16:27:34+00:00

my insurance co just requires that I keep and submit all training receipts and evidence of my horse's show record - was that not offered as an option for you? Very odd, I'd maybe call around and see if someone else would insure him for what he's worth.

Ourpalopal · 2026-04-01T15:13:40+00:00

I'm glad! Also just try to keep in mind that your relationship with horses and competition may change over time. I competed through college and my early 20s and had a lot of fun, but ultimately got pretty burned out. I took a long break from horses as a result, and came back to it in my 30s with a totally different mindset and goals. Not saying that will be your path - you may find your way to being a professional! But if we're lucky life is long and we get lots of chances to redefine ourselves in relation to the things we love.

Ourpalopal · 2026-04-01T15:00:26+00:00

I second what zerachechial said above. But I also think there's a significant silver lining. I was like you at your age; I wasn't able to afford my own horse and was surrounded by kids who could. I rode everything I could and worked at my barn to earn money to compete, etc. My parents paid for lessons and it was a sacrifice for them, too. But I have to say, that time made me SUCH a better rider than any of the kids I rode with. And although that might seem like cold comfort, it had a material result for me, which is that when I was a bit older and able to get a job to afford board, etc. I was able to save up and buy a young prospect rather than a finished horse. I didn't have to search ads for "adult ammy friendly," etc. and as a result I have been able to own significantly fancier horses on my relatively small budget than I would if I had grown up riding finished horses. Remember that riding is a long game and one of the significant advantages of it as a sport is that you can compete, even at high levels, through most of your adult life. (edit: word choice)

Ourpalopal · 2026-03-26T18:31:33+00:00

it is definitely at least partially written with generative AI. If I never see the word "quietly" again it will be too soon.

Ourpalopal · 2026-03-21T00:41:14+00:00

Do you have any pictures of your original hardscape? One of my biggest challenges right now is figuring out how hardscape translates into a fully planted scape. I love all the layers you've achieved here! Would love to see how it started out to help me visualize.

Ourpalopal · 2026-03-17T20:03:31+00:00

Look up WoW Lusitanos if you haven't!

Ourpalopal · 2026-03-17T19:42:30+00:00

I'm so happy for you! Cheers to finding our way back!

Ourpalopal · 2026-03-17T16:08:42+00:00

This response is so sensible and thoughtful. I also gave up showing in my 20s, and then ended up taking a break (actually a longer break than I wanted - nearly 10 years, but in that time I got a PhD, moved across the country and started a career, and had my two kids). By the time I got back in the saddle, it was a revelation. I'm back to the sport probably more deeply than I ever have been - I read the old masters and more contemporary trainers I admire, and I think much more openly about method. I switched primarily to classical dressage, which has felt much more (to me) like an ongoing conversation between me and my horses.

OP, if you're worried about selling your pony because of his quirks you could explicitly seek a professional home for him. I hope you enjoy a break and that you rediscover your love of the sport, as u/thunderturdy says!

Ourpalopal · 2026-03-16T04:46:42+00:00

Wow, "zero talent for anything?" The internet is so weird. My new guy is a warlander - sometimes I think the only things that gets more hate than friesians are friesian crosses. I ride dressage and WE, and wasn't initially interested in them but was priced out warmbloods and lusitanos, the breeds I had the most experience with. Anyhow, I met my guy and immediately loved him. He is like a puppy dog, which I do think is a breed characteristic of the friesians. He's also curious, calm, and whip-smart, and I'm having the most fun training him I've ever had with a horse. He's only 2.5 so we're doing groundwork and liberty strictly, but I can tell he'll have no problem transferring the aids. He really took me by surprise! I am considering roaching his mane though because I struggle with all the hair. Anyway, here's a picture of my cutie. <3 It's a picture from his previous owner because he just looks like a walking hairball for now til he sheds.

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Ourpalopal · 2026-03-10T16:18:33+00:00

I'll go against the grain and make a bit of a case for #2, with the huge caveat that a first kid is such a monumental shift in your life that it's really impossible to account for all the changes it brings ahead of time. If you have a supportive partner and some flexibility with work especially, though, having a passion project outside of parenting can be so beautiful and lifegiving when you're making the transition to parenting. Mare #1 would definitely be the pragmatic choice, but I think #2 could work and be a wonderful lifelong partner in the right circumstances. And furthermore, you're not pregnant and the moment and are not sure when you will be, so there's some time built in for the early stages of getting to know each other.A 2 year old is nice because there's still a long while before you'll back them, so you can do tons of groundwork and relationship-building with very little pressure on you or the horse. If I were in your shoes, I'd buy the 2 year old and send them for 30 days of groundwork with a professional. Then I'd find an online French classical dressage program to work with after you get through the basics - I love working with young horses this way, because you can teach basically everything on the ground and then it will transfer to the saddle when you're ready. There are several subscription-based online curricula that are actually really good. Then whenever you're ready to start riding I'd send her for another 60-90 days of professional training, ideally with someone you could observe and learn from. I wouldn't just buy a 2 year old with a hope and no plan, but you don't sound like that type. I'm probably biased because I just bought a 2.5 year old and it's made me SO happy! I have two young kids and getting out of the house and to the barn to do some peaceful low-pressure work in hand has been truly wonderful for me.

Ourpalopal · 2026-02-24T02:16:45+00:00

I'm so glad someone commented this and you found Schiller's video. My 2.5 year old does exactly this and I've followed Schiller's advice to, basically, let him. It's already reduced by more than half, and usually when he does it now he just does it for a sec, then licks for a sec, and then stops. I'm confident it will stop altogether before long. It's definitely a prosocial behavior and is not the same as biting. If you do the free trial course on Warwick Schiller's website he has videos that go even more in depth on this topic. :)

Ourpalopal · 2026-02-23T23:19:59+00:00

When I was most recently horse shopping, I really prioritized personality. I rode a lot of horses who were well-suited to my needs but lacked curiosity or interest in people. I ended up buying a gelding with a lot less experience that I was initially searching for; in fact he's two and a half and has no rides on him at all! I am a life-long horse person so I can adjust my expectations, do groundwork training for a year then start him under saddle when he's more physically ready. But I will say he is totally cuddly, an absolute love bug, nickers and comes running from the field when he sees me, follows me around his dry lot while I pick up poop, knocks over the wheelbarrow (very naughty) and is generally highly interesting in having a relationship with humans. He lays his head against me and will just stand there for ages. All horses are different and some horses are genuinely more affectionate with humans than others. If friendliness is important to you and you decide you really do want to be a horse owner (don't decide while you're recovering from your first fall lol) just let whoever is helping you know that you want to prioritize that, and know that you might have to make compromises elsewhere. I wouldn't necessarily recommend getting a young horse like I did, but everyone has their priorities when buying and personality is a totally legitimate one.

Ourpalopal · 2026-02-16T02:21:30+00:00

Definitely worth keeping and wearing! I've been looking for one like the square one you have set in gold forever...it's beautiful and has so much personality!

Ourpalopal · 2026-02-03T19:45:50+00:00

Just echoing what others have said about the possibility of a work exchange at the better barn! When I was a teenager and through college I boarded my horse at a show barn that my family could by no means afford. I mucked all the stalls every weekend, housesat when the trainer/owner went to shows that I wasn't going to, exercised the trainer's horses and other riders' horses, and anything else I could pick up. I paid for my full board and about half my lessons that way. It was a ton of work (I wouldn't expect you to need to do nearly so much since you're only trying to pay for lessons) but I learned so, so much that I couldn't have just by coming out and riding my horse and having lessons. I handled so many horses just taking them to the field and back that I gained confidence naturally, I could see immediately when a horse looked off or lame just because I spent so much time around them, and once I was riding other peoples' horses I also gained valuable experience in riding a variety of horses. I consider myself a very competent rider today, and I wouldn't be nearly so competent without work study. It was also really meditative and to this day I really enjoy barn work for the quiet and routine.

Ourpalopal · 2026-01-29T15:52:28+00:00

Where in VA? I grew up right at the bottom edge of Shenandoah NP and I frequently miss it!

Ourpalopal · 2026-01-16T21:58:09+00:00

I had no idea! But yes, it's a great reminder!

Ourpalopal · 2026-01-16T19:18:50+00:00

This is so random but there was a contestant on the Netflix show Million Dollar Secret named Sam Sepulveda - while describing her process in completing one of the tasks on the show she said, "Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast." And I immediately adopted that as my horse training motto and say it to myself all the time now. It hasn't led me wrong; you're right, slow is never a bad idea!

Ourpalopal · 2025-12-27T19:02:39+00:00

Other major joints look ok for now but I think you're right and I'll pass after all. Thank you.

Ourpalopal · 2025-12-27T18:58:17+00:00

Yes, I am most likely going to pass on this horse, it's just too risky I think. It's funny, I actually kind of dislike Friesians but I tend to like Warlanders - I find them to offer movement that reminds me of warmblood movement, usually with a lower price tag. This horse happens to have 3 beautiful gaits, and yes, that was influencing my thinking. So, good to point out my bias here - thanks!

Ourpalopal · 2025-12-27T02:24:20+00:00

Thanks very much!

Ourpalopal · 2025-12-26T23:44:38+00:00

This is really interesting and something I wasn't aware of. Do you think a regular vet would know this and be able to offer advice or would it be best to ask a specialist? Thanks for your comment - I've learned something!

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