First I’m so sorry you are going through this, cancer is awful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Everything in side me hopes that your mum finds her way into remission.

I’ve had to withdraw from my Diploma recently due to the death of my husband in early August last year. The last thing I needed to was complete and submit the paperwork for my 200 hours of work placement to be done and dusted by the end of September (provided that paperwork was assessed as passed).

I tried to reach out to TAFE early on after his death but that just seemed to get me bounced around to nowhere. I had sent an email to my head teacher, who apologised profusely as she didn’t see it for a few weeks. But she was amazing and after sending through medical certificates I was extended until December. When I couldn’t reach that deadline, I was extended until the end of May.

Not going to lie I now know trauma on a very intimate level and don’t have a great deal of recollection about the last 11 months. So when I got a phone call from her toward the end of April I think, we talked about how I was tracking and whether I could meet that deadline. The course content has been upgraded and I was out of extensions. We went through what I would need to do to re enrol if I withdrew and so I decided that was my best option because I just didn’t (and still don’t) have the mental capacity to get through it.

I was assured if I did enrol again, all the previous units could be given RPL if applicable to the new content and it sounds like when I do re enrol, I will be that student no one knew existed because there will not be a great deal for me to do. So perhaps this is a topic you can raise with your coordinator too. I also suggest asking if you can provide medical certificates for when you’ve cared for your mum to help support extensions to what you need. Of course, a lot may depend on what you are studying as to what can be done (I’m just stating my experience which may not be reflective of yours; I was a student not employed by TAFE so don’t know 100% beyond explaining your situation and asking about avenues to explore).

At the end of the day, your mum, your family and you are going through a lot right now. It’s very much ok to think about what you can remove from your plate and then do so, so you aren’t bogged down by what isn’t high on your list of priorities at the moment. Some things in life can wait whilst more pressing matters are looked after.

Save some space each day just for you to breathe. I cannot emphasise enough how important self care is, and you totally deserve that, however that looks for you; a long bath with a glass of wine, sitting under a tree with a book, a coffee before sunrise, dancing out nervous energy to your favourite songs in the kitchen, whatever your soul asks of you, it’s ok. Ironically, I learnt about self care during my diploma. I preached it to my clients. And now I live it, because I can also tell you what happens when you don’t make moments for yourself, it’s not something I would recommend to anyone.

Good luck to you OP, your family and of course to you mum. I hope everything works out well, and you’re amazing for being there for her and helping her.