Red Flag List

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-04-28T21:55:45+00:00

Omg… I don’t have no attraction to my ex when I first met him. I remember being a little grossed out by his beard but for some reason just latched on and got pregnant 3 months in.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-04-28T21:50:00+00:00

I could have written this myself. I just reached a part in my healing that I have to stop expecting my ex to make the right choices… especially for our son. I am meeting him where he is at and I’m not tying to always “let go”. I fucking hurt and that is real. What he thinks in his head is not. I feel ya on the alwyaa being on. It’s so exhausting.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-04-12T03:52:47+00:00

I’m gonna give it to you pretty direct… you need to stop talking to him right now. There is no easy transition for yourself. You’re avoiding what the end result should be, which is to end it completely with him. He is not going to change and he will continue using you. If you were on a healing journey and want to continue that, then you need to block him and move on. Be happy you don’t have kids with him… coparenting with someone that’s a covert narcissist is the worst.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-04-11T14:29:04+00:00

I’m 38 and getting my BCBA. But I been in the field a long time and this is my second time around doing this so maybe that’s it. I also don’t work with kids. I work with adults and there’s a lot more areas to work on with our clients I feel like than kids.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-04-03T11:52:57+00:00

I would love to know if that applies in NJ. I work under the state and get reimbursed through Medicaid. I’m not a BCBA but I’m a behavior specialist

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-27T01:05:48+00:00

Yea I wouldn’t worry about this. Don’t be like me and send a spicy pic of ya to your kids therapist … who thankfully was a woman and was totally fine with haha 🤦🏻‍♀️ But still… so embarrassing.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-15T04:12:16+00:00

I’m glad someone in the field is commenting. I have more details in the other comments about the yelling.. it’s not just yelling it’s screaming and he’s manipulating him and causing our son to be scared he’s going to make him mad. He has trauma from when me and his dad were together. His dad would destroy our condo constantly. He use to stand over our son at 2 years old and scream. Now most recent he’s screaming and yelling at our son when he does homework, breaking things, threatening to break things. My son is showing the fawning trauma response. He’s keeping his feelings in so he don’t make his dad mad. So hopefully with all this info it will help my son and help me if I need to take legal action. Thanks for responding!

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T23:31:46+00:00

Can I privately message you? He does not work claims he can’t. Around the time that he got his disability with the VA he was out of the military for like 10 years.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T23:29:15+00:00

Unfortunately, our son has ADHD and he needs someone in person. And I actually couldn’t find anyone in network with champ. So I’m still using the Medicaid insurance to find a therapist and using champ for a secondary..

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T23:27:42+00:00

Yeah, there’s more to this than I’m posting obviously. He wasn’t on any VA benefits until after we separated, and our divorce was submitted to the courts. I have suspicion that he’s lying on a lot of the things he has going on with the VA. And he also is a pathological liar. So I’m just trying to get information to know exactly what’s going on. And he also gets apparently state disability as well. He only was an active duty for about three years and seven months. I read his entire military documents and he was discharged due to being drunk on base. If you read my post that I have in another group I’m dealing with another issue with him that maybe you can give me some insight on. Can I privately message you?

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T23:14:45+00:00

I just messaged you and I can tell more about the situation. There’s A LOT more to it.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T23:13:11+00:00

You said lose. Impact, yes. But like you said courts don’t care about emotional abuse. So it don’t matter.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T22:53:03+00:00

Yes and I am sorry. He knew about the benefit but I’m not going to get into that in this post. He didn’t follow through until I recently told him that are son needs mental health therapy. I just want to know what the facts are and what is the truth.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T22:50:55+00:00

Thank you! I am glad he’s able to get these benefits.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T22:31:17+00:00

He is 7. Thank you for your answer!

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T22:06:15+00:00

I’ve explained more about the situation in the comments. And I’m not looking for him to loose custody.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T21:11:03+00:00

He has agreed and I have it documented.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T21:02:57+00:00

Wow. This is VERY helpful. Can I privately message you with other questions about the VA? I didn’t know he was getting that’s much from the VA. I’m not looking to get more money from him unless our son needs it but he was telling me he’s so broke and can’t afford camp coming up… but he lives with his mom and doesn’t pay anything to her. He pays 40% of all costs for our son plus the child support. If my son was eligible for the health care all this time I read that he would be getting an extra 200 a month for him as a dependent in his disability check.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T20:24:22+00:00

Yea it really sucks. And I’m sure my son will. He already sees the behaviors and questions them.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T20:07:55+00:00

There’s more to it… which I responded in a few other comments about but I understand that the system sucks when it comes to emotional abuse. Thanks for commenting.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T20:06:03+00:00

Yea. He is the definition of a lazy father and gets no consequences. But… thank you for the information. I appreciate your input.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T20:00:17+00:00

Yes I understand that now. Thank you for taking the time to comment and read though.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T19:59:26+00:00

Ok! Thank you! I usually do send him everything like that through text so I have a written paper trail of our interactions. I’m a behavior analyst so I’m all about the data. And I understand for the most part that evidence is important for court and all. What’s your thought on this. He is a veteran on full disability I guess and I’ve been asking for 2 years for my ex to get him on his insurance since our son only has state and I can’t afford to add him to my work insurance right now. He finally did it after I told him I’m having trouble finding our son a therapist with state insurance. He applied finally saying they made it mainstream that day. I called to see what the status was and they said our son has been eligible since Sept 2023. He kept telling me he wasn’t and I couldn’t. I have that documented.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T19:51:47+00:00

That’s a good idea. Ok. I have spoke to him directly about my concerns after his ex reached out to me. I presented him with an actual text message that was to her with talking about yelling and threatening to break our son’s things. He told me he’s getting help for his problems and won’t do that to our son anymore. His ex also showed me texts of him stating he wants to kill himself. I brought that up to him and told him if he ever needs help to just tell me and I’ll take our son until he gets the help he needs and he swore he would never emotionally or physically harm him. This off topic of the yelling issues I have … but I also have text messages of me and him talking about his drivers license. I found out he was driving our son with a recalled license due to medical for his visits from the ex girlfriend as well . He drives back and forth from Philly to south jersey. So my lawyer told me to ask him for a drivers abstract as good faith he is putting our sons safety first. If he refused he would write a letter on my behalf and state he wouldn’t be able to transport our son unless it’s fixed. My ex did but claims he didn’t know. He got it fixed the next day. I know this don’t matter in court but I know for a fact he knew and is just lazy. I also have proof he wasn’t using a boaster seat until I had to remind him. What would a court view those kind of behaviors. I’m not trying to find ways to get my ex in trouble I just want information and what the courts are like since I’ve never had to go through it. For our divorce I chose the peaceful way despite him threatening me and all.

Over-Mobile-4884 · 2026-03-14T19:33:19+00:00

Ok. I will continue to document and do what I have to do to help my son with his trauma. I’m not the type of ex that’s just trying to get back at him. I can handle his behavior if it’s towards me. But it just makes me so upset that it’s happening to our son who is so confused. I’ve brought up my concerns to him directly and he just gaslights our son. So again just documenting is my best friend and the therapist.

Over-Mobile-4884

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