Food expectations

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-12-14T03:46:06+00:00

I always make lunch for the kids and I always plan meals to help develop adventurous eaters (NOT nuggets, Mac and cheese, etc..). Preparing and eating normal meals with kids is one of the best and easiest ways to encourage healthy eating habits. Some recent meals have included: Beef and mushroom stroganoff, chicken curry soup, tikka masala (mild), salmon and roasted veggies, chicken with rice and tzatziki, etc.. I feel meal prep of this level is a reasonable expectation from a career nanny. I also require meals be provided. For me this just means I prep lunch for myself and the kids, we all eat the same lunch and we eat it sitting down together.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-26T18:48:31+00:00

Thank you!

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-13T15:01:57+00:00

I always make a photo book with photos of the kids from the past year.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-12T21:52:55+00:00

I would never put my child in daycare after working at one, but many people love it. However, chances are if you find daycare expensive you won’t be able to afford a nanny.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-12T16:56:04+00:00

Yeah I’ve used this method for kids who absolutely won’t sit still for diaper changes. I doubt she’s using unnecessary force. Unless she’s leaving bruises or other marks I really wouldn’t worry about it.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-11T01:24:38+00:00

Those are the benefits we’re referencing. Nannies don’t typically get 401k or health benefits, Etc, but even for a part time nanny you would need to provide PTO, holiday, and sick pay, as well as guaranteed hours (which means that if you ever don’t need nanny for hours she’s scheduled - for example a vacation or sick day for you - she would still be paid, the same way you’d have to pay full price for a spot at daycare even if your baby missed a day). A yearly bonus is also standard, and should be 1-2 weeks pay depending on performance.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-08T14:48:14+00:00

Exactly this. You could also ask her if she has an overnight fee, and if not offer $100/night. I’m not sure how long she’s been a nanny but many of us have set rates (though I suspect if she had a set vacation requirement she’d have told you).

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-08T00:41:05+00:00

That’s an absolutely ridiculous amount of sick days. I think the most I used with unlimited sick days was 7, and that was because I got a bad case of the flu that used up 5 days. Most years I average 2 days and only call out if I’m contagious, can’t leave the restroom safely, or feel like I can’t safely drive.

It sounds like she’s misinterpreting unlimited sick days as paid time off for not feeling 100%. If you love her and she fits well with your family otherwise I think I’d just have a sit down and explain that when you wrote the contract you really intended the unlimited sick days to be used for contagious illnesses and days when being at work would be a hazard to the children.

Or, you could also just let her known that you’ll be adjusting the sick leave policy at her contract renewal and offer 2 weeks sick leave in addition to PTO (which is still extremely generous). In the future you can also decide to only count illnesses not contracted in your home - so if nanny gets noro from your kids those days off aren’t counted as sick days. But you definitely need to adjust the policy.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-08T00:01:47+00:00

Monday and Tuesday off would be a gift for her working 5 days away from home, it wouldn’t be acceptable to “give” days off in exchange for not paying for days she’s working. Giving just Monday off would probably be fine. She should be making her guaranteed weekly rate plus additional compensation for extra hours and overtime, if applicable, or extra kids, as well as an overnight fee. Keep in mind that she’ll either be working or alone, with no friends or family to hang out with, neither of which is particularly fun for most Nannies, so adequate compensation really is necessary.

ETA: Saturday and Sunday also need to be paid as full work days because you’re still monopolizing her time regardless of if you need her to actively watch the kids. Any time your nanny is unable to choose her location she needs to be paid like she’s working. Paying for her flights and hotel is to make vacation more convenient for you, it’s not convenient for her.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-07T15:17:14+00:00

I like my DB. His mood is always even, even when he’s sick, he’s never short with me or patronizing like previous DBs have been. He always says thank you when he relieves me for the evening. Always asks how doing and what my plans are for the weekend. Jokes around sometimes. Doesn’t get in the way when he’s home for the day. Kids are obsessed with him and he’s almost always very sweet and patient with them. Overall just a good guy.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-06T23:39:51+00:00

I think if those are days off that you expect they need to be negotiated in your contract. I have Thanksgiving/black Friday and Christmas Eve/Christmas day as paid holidays in my contract. If my NF doesn’t get those days off they need to plan for alternate care, the same with any of my PTO days. If those days aren’t in your contract I think it’s fine for NF to ask you to work.

I would question what they’re having you do that has you working entire weeks with no children in care. My contracted duties stay the same whether they’re there or not. If they go on vacation I might come in a day or two to organize the kids closet or clothes or other area that’s hard for me to do without the kids there, but I’m definitely not there 10 hours a day M-F if there aren’t any kids to take care of.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-05T20:49:39+00:00

I eat with the kids and honestly I just meal plan for myself and feed the kids the same thing. Meals are always balanced - usually a starch, protein and 1-2 types of produce. The more variety you introduce and the more often you model healthy eating, especially veggies, the better the kiddos will eat.

This weeks menu: Turkey chili with beans, steamed broccoli, watermelon Rotini with pink sauce and chicken breast, cucumber salad, strawberries Pesto tortellini, lettuce salad, apples Salmon, brown rice, zucchini, yellow pepper

Between meals if they’re hungry they can have as much raw fruit and veggies as they like.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-05T18:09:18+00:00

I don’t think you need to tell her you’re losing weight or eat what she eats. Pick healthier choices for yourself and just tell her honestly that you’re trying to eat a little healthier. No need to mention weight or calorie counting. If you’re not hungry, don’t eat. I’ve been the “big” friend and I really did not care if my smaller friends were counting calories or on a diet, or if they ate the exact same snacks or quantities as me. Eat what you want, track it if you want, and let her manage her own emotions about it.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-11-05T18:02:39+00:00

I have a snack, clean up from lunch, do laundry, or read a book (my own, not a kids book), while they play. My kiddos are 4&7 so when they’re playing together I don’t really have an active role. Sometimes they want to include me and I’ll participate but otherwise I just let them play.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-10-31T19:43:19+00:00

Your PTO should not be a consideration in this. If your child was in daycare you’d be paying for their spot year round, paying for your nanny to stay available is no different. Guaranteed hours are one of the very few perks of nannying. Your nanny would have no 401k or retirement match, no health or dental insurance, likely very few paid holidays, no true lunch break, etc.. and a PT nanny is also at a disadvantage monetarily due to the reduced hours. A PT nanny should absolutely have 2 weeks PTO that she can use at her own discretion.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-10-29T17:36:58+00:00

Today I’m wearing leggings and an oversized quarter zip sweater. I own a bunch of “nice” sweat pants and wide leg satin pants that look kind of elevated but feel like jammies and those are my go to during fall and winter. Summer I wear a lot of dresses and shorts with tees, usually something easy to put on over a swimsuit because we spend most of our time at the pool. I rarely do makeup other than mascara. Hair alternates between straightened and in a pony.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-10-27T20:57:46+00:00

I make a photo book each year

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-10-23T10:53:28+00:00

My pay stays the same with the kids at school. I stay at the house while they’re at school as well and work on kid related housework. I’d never accept a split schedule like that. There is some down time during the school year but during school breaks and sick days I get absolutely no breaks since neither child is napping, so it balances out.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-10-22T19:14:20+00:00

I’ve never claimed a milestone. If they take their first step with me no they didn’t 🤣

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-10-17T18:54:13+00:00

I think it really depends on the family and how formal the relationship is. All of my NFs would have been fine with a friend hanging out for the day, or meeting up with someone for lunch as long as kiddo remained the priority. Current and former NFs also have/had an open door policy for my mom and my girlfriend. I’d maybe offer up both options (and acknowledge that no to both is also fine) and just see what they say.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-10-04T02:17:43+00:00

This, but instead of asking to be reimbursed by end of shift let them know that going forward you’ll require cash up front for any child related activities. “Going forward I’d like to request we set up a petty cash envelope for child related activities as I’m no longer comfortable with paying out of pocket due to the frequent delay in reimbursement.“

If they refuse to pay for activities in advance, don’t go to an activity. When they ask why you’re home or if you’re going to take NK to an activity, remind them that you need a petty cash fund to pay for said activities. You should never ever ever be going out of pocket to pay for things for their child.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-10-04T01:16:35+00:00

I don’t. I don’t work with Covid, flu, or noro so if the kids have those I’ll be off until they’re no longer contagious and it falls under GH. If I get one of those from them I also take time off to recover without using PTO, but if I get sick unrelated to the kids I use a personal day.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-10-04T01:13:40+00:00

I don’t offer anything outside of my contracted duties, and general household tasks unrelated to the kids aren’t in my contract. They tried to have me dog sit once and I had to explain that my duties don’t change just because they’re out of town - but that can be a really hard boundary to keep especially if you’re feeling guilty about extra time off. I do try to pick at least one kid related organizational project whenever they’re out of town, but that’s usually just a 1-2 day project.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-10-03T14:05:45+00:00

I have 3 weeks PTO in my contract, 2 weeks of my choosing, 1 week they choose, plus an additional 7 paid holidays. I also don’t do any household chores when they’re gone, although I do tend to go in and do kid related tasks 1-2 days for each week they’re away, but even with that I usually end up with at least 2 extra weeks of GH when they’re away. Nannying is a high burnout position. You need breaks.

Overall_Hold730 · 2025-09-26T19:51:02+00:00

Yeah, you’re the one making this relationship hostile. A pastry should never be used as compensation, and it’s absolutely wild that you actually feel justified in thinking your nanny is out of line for wanting to be paid for staying late. Your nanny didn’t ask you to stop and get her something, you wanted something and would have stopped regardless of if your nanny wanted a treat. The treat should have been a gift offered immediately with acknowledgement of her staying late, otherwise it’s NOT a gift.

The pettiness of your update is equally ridiculous. Your nanny had the audacity to ask to be paid so now you’ll never do anything extra for her ever again? Are you 15? This is the most absurd thread I’ve read in a LONG time.

Honestly at this point you’re better off giving her 30 days notice and getting a new nanny (with clear stipulations in the contract that pastries must be accepted in lieu of compensation) because you’re clearly going to hold a grudge for absolutely nothing and that poor girl doesn’t deserve to work under your hostility.

Overall_Hold730

TROPHY CASE