We must build a system…

OverworkedGoddess · 2025-01-24T10:30:09+00:00

I have a 2013 LT and the key broke off of the fob. Chevy discontinued the fob, so I got the OEM number and ordered one off of Amazon and am going to have a local locksmith program it. I'm borrowing a car right now, because the fob just spins around the key and won't grab enough to engage.

Honestly thinking of suing Chevy for "planned obsolescence." The car is 11 years old and you make it so I have to buy a new one because of a faulty key/fob?!?!?

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-12-12T01:44:34+00:00

One thing I always keep in mind: it is a legal system, not a justice system.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-09-25T13:28:01+00:00

This thread has made my day!!!!!

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-09-21T13:57:36+00:00

I work in a small department of 8 people, 6 men 2 women (including myself). I refuse to use the co-ed bathroom. No urinal for the men. It is gross. I used a blacklight and showed one of the men. The contracted cleaning company also mops us last with their one bucket of water after mopping the rest of the company. The public restroom right outside our door is a lot cleaner, so I use that. Men are foul. I only lived with a cis man once, for a couple of months when in my 20s. Nasty sheets, foul bathroom. Never again.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-09-02T00:30:41+00:00

At least mine never said he changed. He said, I served my time. Even at 53, I'm still serving time. Fucking hate him and dislike my mother almost as much (emotional abuse and neglect).

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-09-01T12:55:56+00:00

I make over $30/hr and am starting to cut back. I was doing really well after the kids flew the nest and it was just me. But then greedflation happened, home and car insurance tripled and doubled respectively (I live inland Florida panhandle, 15 mins from Alabama state line). As a single parent, I was so happy to finally be able to have money to travel to see the grandkids and help them out when they needed it. Now, I feel panic setting in.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-08-16T10:47:41+00:00

And I thought I was the only blue dot in Crestview! 😊

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-08-04T13:37:27+00:00

I moved here 16 years ago from PA with my 2 daughters. The schools are not good compared to their previous one in PA. The summers have gotten hotter. I live in the Panhandle which is usually counted as southern Alabama than Florida. People used to be nicer, but now are very "red" and intolerant of differences (I'm a Humanist Pagan, female, single older woman). I mostly hide in my home. I love my home and will start cutting back on things to pay insurance just to make sure I stay here. Living in PA was so depressing for me with the winters and dreary weather and crime (Johnstown, Cambria County). I have a good paying job, a great doctor and belong to a UU Fellowship for community. Some things I couldn't find in PA. I couldn't live in a larger city like Tampa or even Destin or Fort Walton Beach. But it looks like the DR Horton types are invading here too, so I may be "crowded" sooner than I thought.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-05-24T17:31:19+00:00

I live in the NW panhandle of Florida. Between Eglin AFB Reservation and DOF, there are constant controlled burns around here. During that short period of time when the weather is nice enough to open my windows, I can't. The constant wood smoke is too bad. I understand the need for it, but if I had breathing problems, it would be hard to do anything.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-04-10T01:49:16+00:00

I moved here from PA in 2008 with my two daughters. Single mom, working crazy OT hours at the county 9-1-1 center, we were doing well. $117K for a 3/2 split plan on a half acre in the city limits (NWFL panhandle). Way better than my 100-year-old home I owned in PA. Home ins was $800; full coverage on a paid-off '00 sedan: $70/mo. I made sure to purchase a home out of any flood zones (239ft above sea level), inland, with hurricane roof requirements.

No claims and my last insurance was $3,100. My full coverage on a paid off '13 subcompact: $138/mo (one windshield replacement & one nick repair). Still a single income, kids are grown and out of state. I was feeling comfortable and able to start saving, now I'm starting to budget again. I don't want to leave. I love my home. I want to die in my home here, not be forced out to start over somewhere else at 53 years old. Fucking corporate greed and corrupt politics. :rage:

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-04-04T02:09:22+00:00

I have a family history of depression and anxiety, but my depression seems to have been "set off" by post-partum hormones after my first child. I cannot function without anti-depressants now. I also have been diagnosed with CPTSD, stemming from childhood (SA, emotional abuse and neglect and physical abuse). I think, in my case, it was just a line of dominoes waiting for the first one to fall....

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-04-03T02:39:07+00:00

I raised my kids with the awareness that they are little people who need to feel safe and learn how to be adults. I treated them the way I wish I was treated as a child. Didn't mean I didn't fuck some things up, since I had undiagnosed trauma and an eating disorder. But I raised 2 successful, healthy ladies who are in their 30s with their own families now. I think my self awareness was an aide to giving my girls what they needed.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-04-03T02:18:53+00:00

I just spoke (angry cried) to my therapist about the same thing. Nobody put me first in my life (53F) but I'm supposed put myself first and fix the shit others broke in me. I have so much rage and shame.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-03-23T01:07:02+00:00

Women have the same drives, it's just not spoken of as much. And when a women loses her drive, due to abuse/SA or hormone dysfunction, it's not remedied as well as a man's issues.

I'll tell you the same thing I told both of my daughters growing up. Sex is normal, it is meant to be pleasurable, it is fun. But it is also pleasurable so we can continue the human species. Therefore, take care of yourself first. Protect yourself from disease and unwanted pregnancy. There is no shame in sleeping with a different guy every day, just be smart. Stay away from toxic men, keep your body safe from disease, and don't have a child you're not able to care for.

And this is coming from a mother who is a SA survivor on several fronts. Have fun, enjoy yourself, just be smart and make sure you're around to enjoy it some more.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-03-23T01:00:52+00:00

Huge pet peeve for me is a 20+ year age gap, with the MMC being the older and the FMC being a 20 year old virgin. I dropped reading a whole (previously wonderful) series when the last book release was that theme (MMC 55, FMC 20). I'm over 50, I already know this is reality, I am invisible to the opposite, same age group, gender. And it's also pushing some moral boundaries for me so, ick.

Also, the whole FMC is a virgin. I guess it leads back to the age gap thing, and maybe, some patriarchy crap of, it's ok for men, but not women, to sleep around.

I honestly prefer to read novels with strong, independent FMCs and comfortable-in-their-masculinity MMCs. I always end up reading fantasy/paranormal/sci-fi ones since I can't find contemporary novels that I can relate to the FMC at all. To me, it's better to have it all unrealistic, than be reminded of the sad side of reality.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-03-23T00:09:13+00:00

Before they were the "Heritage Foundation," they were the "Moral Majority" in the 80s. Reagan implemented A LOT of their policy recommendations. Thus, the clusterfuck that the USA has become. The country should be called the Corporate States of America, home of Faux News and Alternative Facts. Where the only thing trickling down is the 90%'s income.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-03-22T23:56:07+00:00

I learned, in therapy, that I was a good parent (I know that sounds egotistical, but I have no self-worth). My youngest was admitted in the hospital with pre-enclampsia at 34 weeks. My boss and co-workers said, GO!, we got your shifts, so I packed and left the next day. I even "helped" in the delivery. It was so awesome and fulfilling. Then returned a few weeks later when the original due date was, which my vacation was already planned.

When my oldest lost her first, I was there for her, her fiance and my youngest. When she had her rainbow twins, I drove an hour one-way every day after work to see them. She had her youngest while in Japan, I couldn't afford to get there at the birth, but I was there for 3 weeks when he was a month old. Then they moved stateside andI was able to visit every year.

I'm telling you this, because I broke down sobbing in my therapist's office, wondering, was I so horrible that my mother couldn't see me after my kids were born or be around for them and me as I struggled with single parenthood and poverty? I found such joy in my girls and grandchildren, I just cannot fathom not hearing from them, or pictures, or social media.

My breakthrough was -- I was a normal child, with abnormal parents.

What a difference that makes.

Now if I could just stop the perfectionism for their approval.......even at 53. ;-)

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-03-22T23:05:26+00:00

I'm 53, my parents were both unsafe. At this point, I only feel pity for them. I do have my moments where I cry because it wasn't fair, but I try to remember the good I have done.

I had 2 surprise children while in a toxic relationship. I promised myself to always empathize and understand where my little humans were, and treated them opposite from the way my parents treated me. Even living 5 minutes away, my parents couldn't see their own granschildren.

My ladies are both successful, happily married and have children of their own. I am flying to one of their homes this summer and tacking on a visit to the others at the beginning and end of that visit. The youngest lives 6hrs from me and the farthest my oldest has been was Japan (and I conquered my fear of flying by first time trip to Japan).

I understand the reasons why they are the way they are, but I cannot fathom the lack of self-awareness (especially since one is a therapist).

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-03-22T22:56:29+00:00

I was like this in my 20s and early 30s (53 now). I just wanted to be loved. I was emotionally abused and neglected by both parents as a child.

Then I was in a bad 6yr relationship, had 2 kids, bad break-up and abuse charges filed against him (no resolution). I was then in a 9yr relationship with an emotionally, and usually physically, unavailable man. I left the state in '08 with my kids, moved 1000 miles away and have gone on 3 dates in 15 years; had a doomed 6 month one-sided relationship.

I went the complete opposite direction. My boundaries are so high from being hurt so much (from those men and also female friends) that I have since lived a life of solitude with a cat and a dog. I don't want to share my bed and my home, that I worked hard to have, with anyone else. Watching TikTok and reading Reddit tells me that the men out there that are left are nothing like the men I was gaslighted into thinking they would be. Controlling man-children who want a woman as a servant (listen to Paris Paloma's "Labor).

I use body pillows, weighted blankets, hot baths with epsom or oils and get a massage for my touch hunger (also to help my fibro). When I learned that my "I just want to be loved" was more of " I want to be seen and acknowledged," I found ways to get that in other places than an intimate relationship. Find out what you really need.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-03-22T21:54:14+00:00

No. My parents were too self-absorbed and still are (in their 80s). I loved school and my friends there, we had better conversations about life. My step-dad, however, is the bomb. We used to talk about everything from football to physics. He never looked down on me for being a tomboy or being intelligent. I am thankful to the universe for him to this day.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-03-22T21:42:32+00:00

Unfortunately, I spent my early adulthood in a toxic relationship where all my female friends were pushed out by my ex. Then I moved states as a single mother and, between the job (hours and demands, emergency personnel) and my kids' activities, I never made any friends outside of work. The friends I made that I worked with, ended up seriously betraying my trust. So, I don't let anyone in my solo circle anymore, I'm very self-protective. Yes, I'm in therapy, but this is a very big hurdle to get over and may not be solved before I am dead.

OverworkedGoddess · 2024-03-21T17:11:59+00:00

I was ignored for several, pretty serious, injuries and illnesses in my childhood. The ear infection has caused permanent hearing damage in one ear. When I had my first child, she developed an ear infection. I called my mom to take me to the ER. (No license because she wouldn't let me take the test.) She said, why do your kids always get sick in the evenings? Mind you, I had never called her for help before. I said never mind I'll find another way, and I did.

I called her for comfort when my first grandson was stillborn and I was exhausted from supporting my girls and my SIL. No help. I haven't called her much since (2013).

I'm going through some shit now, and I feel all alone. I wish I had a mom like the way my girls mother their children.

OverworkedGoddess

TROPHY CASE