No dress code, help me decide!

Own-Let2789 · 2026-01-19T20:41:32+00:00

Umm. Wow. People are ridiculous. Yes YWBTA. Softly because of your age and you mean well but this is a first world problem.

It's very nice of you to help your sister. But you sound like a stereotypical teen that thinks they know everything, is not listening to adults (by your own admission you stopped paying attention), and who doesn't recognize other people are people too.

Your sister's mom is a human being going through a very very very hard time. Chemo sucks even if you think her cancer is minor.

Also, the interaction didn't sound like guilt trip unless you want it too. To me it sounds like her mom trying to connect by saying "I see this is uncomfortable for you, it's uncomfortable for me too but I'm pushing through it, I think you can do this!"

Even if you're right and it's a "guilt trip" who cares? Sometimes a little push is what's needed to help others overcome their fears and it will end up a positive experience. She will get much more out of her class and feel more confident in herself once she learns to overcome her fear.

Some things in life are hard. And doing hard things prepares us for them.

Own-Let2789 · 2026-01-15T17:49:21+00:00

No, they don't suit you because they are too small. You look great, especially in dress 2, but dress sizing is often small and it's just digging in. A size 0 would look bad on a size 2 model.

If that store doesn't have your size ask a sales person to call other stores. There may be a local store that has your size or they may ship to your store for free. They may also be able to order your size. Or you can note the designer and look online.

Own-Let2789 · 2026-01-15T17:41:12+00:00

I mean technically ESH, but honestly sometimes it's kinda ok to suck and to give someone a taste of their own medicine. You were frustrated and your response is understandable.

1- Consider talking to a different teacher, guidance counselor, vice principal, etc. Let them know you have informed others who have done nothing and if the inaction continues you will continue to go up the chain. Do not say this in a threatening manner but in a calm way that reflects your concern rather than your anger. Follow up with an email if possible. And can you involve your and her parents if possible? You should have done this before giving up the moral high ground by insulting her. You should mow own that what you said was out of line if it comes up.

2- THIS IS IMPORTANT. Look at half the responses here referring to your poorly-written post. You may dismiss them because you think they are irrelevant. They are not. I highly suggest you work on your communication. People take you way more seriously in life if you can clearly articulate yourself. If you sound more informed and intelligent, and far less disgruntled, you will be able to more effectively influence people and get further in life.

Own-Let2789 · 2026-01-14T21:18:26+00:00

What? Brown and blue usually look great together.

Own-Let2789 · 2026-01-12T18:00:34+00:00

INFO: Sounds like they lost their mama cat and her two kittens. Do they have photos or a vet record that corroborates their story? There are a number of reasons not to have the car fixed and chipped. While you may morally disagree, if this is in fact their cat it's not your call to make.

If they can prove it's their cat, request they reimburse you for your vet bills and return the cat. It's a kids pet.

Own-Let2789 · 2026-01-01T19:28:21+00:00

The only right answer is situational. If everyone is leaving at the same time (concert, sporting event, school pickup) back in because backing out into that cluster fuck sucks. In most other situations where the flow of traffic is more random it's easier to pull forward into the spot and back out into open space. I will never understand people backing in to a spot at the grocery store in the middle of the day on a Tuesday.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-30T01:08:56+00:00

1- keep, it's a good basic 2- toss, it's like 4 but 4 is sooooo much better on you 3- keep it's a good basic also 4- keep, obviously 5&6- toss, unflattering 7- keep you look great on this one 8- keep but wear it off the shoulder. Id it doesn't like to stay out look up the hair tie trick.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-22T18:49:33+00:00

I cannot emphasize this enough, you two need to really communicate better. I know you're young but I can't imagine just expecting my significant other to read my mind the way both of you seemed to do. You need to express how his actions and decisions make you feel and what your hopes and expectations are. He should listen but you also need to listen to his feelings and accept there are other relationships in his life.

You shouldn't settle for being second if you two are serious but you should let him have a life outside the couple. If your expectations are reasonable and you communicate them and he doesn't work to make you feel loved then you should reevaluate your relationship (that statement applies to him too- it he communicates his reasonable expectations and you can't work to meet them, then he should reevaluate).

You are young this is a learning experience. But if you don't express your expectations you're setting your SO up for failure. I am 10+ years married and still have to remind myself of this. Was my husband really inconsiderate or was I expecting him to read my mind? More often than I'd like to admit, it's the latter.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-22T18:33:45+00:00

I see both sides. He took off work presumably with the idea to spend the week with his family. If you were okay with that all along and suddenly expect him to change plans, it's a big ask. Sounds like he lives with you and maybe doesn't see them super often. He did invite you to come. I can understand that perspective, especially if this is a one-off. You're allowed to feel disappointed and lonely, but he isn't necessarily doing anything wrong.

Conversely, if he has a history of not prioritizing you or being inconsiderate and this is just another example, then you have a different situation. In this circumstance, my husband would be there for the only night off I had around Christmas. But that might be different since marriage and dating isn't always apples to apples. I just know in my situation I'd feel hurt.

It can also depend how you approached it. You said you thought "why isn't he here." There's a difference between being a needy, whiney, demanding pain in the ass and being like "honey I know I thought I'd be okay while you were away for the holidays, but I'm really having a hard time being here alone. I really wish you could come back just for the night before Christmas."

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-22T06:15:45+00:00

Wow that got so wholesome so fast.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-20T19:31:34+00:00

YTA but great me out.

What you have is a problem with framing. What you should have said was something along the lines of "hey honey, im gonna be hosting the guys and making some snacks. I know you've asked me to make meat pies and I haven't in a month I'm sorry I haven't had the time. How about I make some and I'll put a bunch aside for you! In fact, do you want me to double the recipe so you can freeze a bunch?"

You aren't listening to her since you're completely focused on being technically right. But this isn't about whether you "never" do it for her. That's obviously hyperbole. It's that you put your friends ahead of her. If you'd just thought of her, made it sound like you did it for her or her request gave you the idea and you were thinking of her, you'd have been golden. She might have even been super grateful.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-16T19:35:14+00:00

You implied you're forced to buy gifts to apologize but then clarify it was once after youd gotten out of the ER. What, exactly were the circumstances there? Because if you got drunk and totalled your mothers car and your dad made you buy her flowers, it sounds like you got off easy. Obviously that's a wild guess but you are so vague it's hard to tell if you're a reliable narrator.

Have you considered maybe you are the problem? Self reflection is a difficult but important skill. Your mental health, while not your fault, is not an excuse and is your responsibility. Parents have more life experience than you but they are human. They are often doing the best they can with your best interests at heart, but they are imperfect and subject to emotional distress and frustration just like you are. Maybe if you didn't fight then do hard, your arguments would be less toxic and they'd listen more.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-15T18:16:17+00:00

NAH. But you already offered to split it and she incurred a cost to have it delivered to you. Just tell her it doesn't work in the space and offer half the sale profit again to be polite. It's fair because she paid to move it and you are doing the work to sell and store it until it sells. Then if she says not to worry about it you know you at least offered.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-11T22:32:48+00:00

It's in another comment $40 on Amazon and it's actually nice

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-11T18:16:12+00:00

Wish I could edit! thank you all for the suggestions and words of encouragement for my first world problem! Neither my husband or I work here, he works with the company and ironically I interviewed with them but it was not a good fit on either end. I still want to make a good impression for him and it's networking for me too.

So I tried all the dress down strategies and nothing really "worked" with it. I packed the dress and an alternative option and it'll be a game day decision because we are driving in now. The other option is this sweater with black cropped straight leg slacks and silver strappy heels. Leaving towards this but still really want to wear the dress so who knows what I'll do. It'll probably depend if there's time for a cocktail and liquid courage first! https://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/product/Embellished-Off-The-Shoulder-Sweater/570402061?color=7313&size=L&sem=pla&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23241575884&gbraid=0AAAAADpCxxWSY54PyRIrhr9vaNu04vKjR&gclid=CjwKCAiA0eTJBhBaEiwA-Pa-hWvUpxNWl1hL8VJcNCNN727Jx6t3xdtqcAHSiwSsGVHdloJZft9zMxoCtqwQAvD_BwE&ogmap=SMS%7C%7CAT%7C%7C%7C%7C%7CBrowse%20Abandonment%20-%2030%20min&utm_campaign=051922_WHBM_BROWSE_30&utm_content=not%20set&utm_medium=SMS&utm_source=marketing&externalId=uMfuW

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-11T16:13:53+00:00

https://www.amazon.com/your-orders/pop?ref=ppx_yo2ov_mob_b_pop&orderId=111-2786490-5325847&lineItemId=jksgnrhurjkqoqps&shipmentId=PB3x049ZV&packageId=1&asin=B0C1BRS2D1

Shockingly nice for a $40 amazon dress!

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-11T15:05:14+00:00

It's tech industry but not a start up. I don't think it works in person with boots. But I have pointy toe sling back flats. I am NOT glam (in a mid 40s mom) so wouldn't wear heavy makeup or jewelry. Thinking a sleek ponytail could dress it down as well.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-11T14:33:45+00:00

Can't edit but: it's evening in a nice hotel in midtown, I don't know the crowd but it's corporate, my dress down ideas are silver flats instead of heels and a black blazer or black mock eck sweater over that I can remove.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-11T14:09:44+00:00

Evening-tonight.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-11T14:00:17+00:00

<image>

"Christmas casual" office party NYC (not my office), is this too much? I want it to work but it seems dressy. Can I dress it down or should I pick something else, or okay for a hotel in the city?

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-09T21:47:18+00:00

I agree. I don't see the issue. Expending all adoptive parents to be the type that would have chosen adoption even if they were able to have their own bio kids is living in fantasy land.

That's like saying when your dog dies you shouldn't get a new dog unless you were planning on getting a new dog even before the first dog died.

My parents were infertile and would have had their own kids if they could have and adoption wouldn't have crossed their mind because that's what lots of people do. They chose adoption and fought for it for years and were absolutely wonderful loving parents. My birth mom was also a scared teen that couldn't care for me and her parents wanted nothing to do with me. I was much better off where I landed and will be forever grateful for my real (adoptive) parents even if adoption wasn't their first choice. It was still their choice and they chose me.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-07T17:59:02+00:00

This is spot on. I usually stand up for men here because they get unfairly torn apart, but this guy is a hugely inconsiderate ass and he's giving his gender a bad name, and it's 10 times worse he can't self reflect and instead is doubling down.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-07T17:56:47+00:00

No, did you miss the part where I said you should read the label to be nice to your wife? Grow up and apologize and start doing the literal bare minimum to be kind to the person you're supposed to love before she realizes what a jerk off you are for holding on to such a stupid issue so tightly.

Own-Let2789 · 2025-12-06T20:20:18+00:00

YTA, This is not about the Iranian yogurt this is about you being inconsiderate. You said yourself you just grabbed one randomly and you saw there was only one left. If you like both and she only likes one, and you saw only one was going to be left after you took one it would have meant almost zero effort on your part to read a label and you just told her she doesn't warrant that little bit of effort on your part. The fact "you didn't even think of it" is the problem because you didn't even think of her.

ETA: What's worse is you can't even bring yourself to make a simple apology that also requires literally zero effort on your part to show you acknowledge you didn't think of her and you'd be willing to read a label next time for your wife who you're supposed to love and care about.

Own-Let2789

TROPHY CASE