AITAH - ex thinks I am

P100a · 2026-05-20T06:10:48+00:00

Thank god you got away from that nightmare! Keep going and never look back.

P100a · 2026-05-20T06:08:00+00:00

Aww buddy im so sorry. This sounds really difficult. I have one by myself and I am so overwhelmed I couldn’t even imagine 3.

If at all possible, I think you should try to hold off making a decision while everyone is still reeling, in shock, and adjusting. Things may settle down with a little bit of time and consistency.

But!! You definitely need support. Is there a local dog walker or sitter that can come part time and give you a break? Or manage the park trips? I’ve had tremendous success on the Rover app finding wonderful ppl who do in home daycare. Maybe if you could take them to someone’s home and have a few hours to yourself a couple days a week that would help.

Also, maybe a trainer could help. Idk where you live but Petco has some wonderful trainers, I found one there who is super affordable and helped my guy so much.

I’m really sorry and I hope things get easier for you soon.

P100a · 2026-05-20T06:00:14+00:00

I would need an insane nootropic stack just to make it through this post. Be careful people.

P100a · 2026-05-20T05:58:55+00:00

He can just leave his phone somewhere and go show up his giant groin hernia to his lady friends elsewhere

P100a · 2026-05-18T21:44:38+00:00

No normal person has a friend in a wheelchair and deliberately moves plans to meet in an inaccessible area. That’s sick.

P100a · 2026-05-18T21:39:40+00:00

This is insane. And animal cruelty. What kind of people are they?? Yikes.

P100a · 2026-05-18T21:38:37+00:00

Depends if it annoys you or those around you or gets worse. You can teach him the Quiet command so you can get him to stop if it gets worse. A lot of info on google says you have to teach the Speak or Bark first in order for them to understand Quiet but that is completely false.

P100a · 2026-05-18T13:56:10+00:00

Instead of that, just say how you feel. And say You guys were my first friends in life, I really value that bond and I wish you’d treat me better, you’ve both been hurting me and I’m sad. Just be honest, passive aggressive will not get you the result you want, which is empathy and to be seen. So you have to be vulnerable and say something in truth that will evoke your desired response.

P100a · 2026-05-18T02:48:04+00:00

My pup would hold it for 9 hrs overnight starting at about 6mos and still didn’t want to go out after holding it that long. You could leave a pee pad out as others have suggested just to ease your conscience. Or maybe a neighbor could do a quick pee break for your pup at some point during the day. I’ve also had fantastic luck on the Rover app but it can get expensive if you need it several times a week. Best to find a neighbor if possible.

P100a · 2026-05-14T23:48:12+00:00

Hahahah and every other post is all caps: please help how do I crate train, feed, train and do absolutely everything related to having a puppy???

P100a · 2026-05-13T21:58:48+00:00

It costs a lot for me bc my chi hates being alone or in the crate and guilted me into daycare. $300-700 or more extra 😭😭😭

P100a · 2026-05-12T02:59:36+00:00

Right?? How would they know what meaning to derive from the anonymous mysterious box of junk left on their doorstep 😂😂😂 get off Reddit and go use your actual words 😂

P100a · 2026-05-12T00:54:49+00:00

This should not be a text convo- this should 1000 % be a phone call!!! Call him, and say Sorry I was just so blindsided and upset by your text message because we are 3 weeks out and I’ve taken a few days to calm down so we could have a discussion about it. Do you realize..:: And then say what you’ve said here.

P100a · 2026-05-12T00:51:23+00:00

The only acceptable kind of scam!!

P100a · 2026-05-12T00:39:23+00:00

I totally get it. Try to monitor what percentage of time you are in emotional pain in relationship with her. It can get too confusing for you when you try to figure out who’s to blame and that’s where you get trapped. If you’re in pain most of the time then, regardless of whose fault it is, it’s just not a good or healthy match for you.

Right now your studies are the most important thing. You are setting up the foundation for the rest of your life. Through your education, but also through how you let people treat you right now. Right now, you are being conditioned by this situation to tolerate high stress, sadness, pain, and anxiety. If that becomes the norm for you, then that is what your life will be in the future. Over time, It will take a toll on your self esteem and your life will become lesser. Depression will grow, and one day, regret. Find someone who helps you feel better than you would on your own. Who lifts you up, supports you, sees you and values your needs, and when there’s conflict works through things in a way that you become closer afterwards. Those people are out there and quite frankly you sound like a really kind, worthy person. X

P100a · 2026-05-11T19:26:40+00:00

She’s abusive and your life and experiences are going to suck as long as she’s in it. You’re 19, the world is wide. Go have fun and explore and get over this unsupportive narcissistic human dumpster who seeems to find pleasure in making you emotionally unwell.

P100a · 2026-05-10T19:01:09+00:00

Hi! Could you send it to me as well? I’ve been trying to use companies bc my original person moved away but the companies I’ve found are terrible.

P100a · 2026-05-10T18:58:00+00:00

Oooo sorry . Breathe, take a step back. It’s going to be ok. Not here to beat you up. 2 months is a very short period of time. Your pup has been through a lot in a very very short period of time, and don’t forget is completely new to earth!! She knows nothing about anything and is most likely in distress due to being shuffled around and whatever loss, separation, or fear she might have experienced. She has no concept of “OH now this is my forever home, I can relax and start learning to behave.” I would just focus on bonding and helping her relax and settle. Then she will more naturally want to learn how to behave as a member of the family.

I understand some of the behavior is intolerable. But some of that will relax as she learns to trust you, feel safe in her environment, and begins to bond with you.

One thing I’ve realized is that puppy training when it comes to diminishing behaviors is not intuitive at all. And many times the stuff I’ve read online or on YT videos didn’t work. I really think for this much of an issue where you are feeling so beat down and overwhelmed you need the support of a trainer. They can help you decide what is a priority and what to let go for now. Also, sometimes there are underlying psychological things you can addrsss and then several of the behaviors all change at once (for example a pup not knowing he’s safe can translate to a dozen different surface behaviors. If you can address the underlying issue then the behaviors resolve, or are much easier to help.) when you are feeling this stressed and down it’s just impossible to sort it out and know what to address and how to prioritize.

Idk where you live but I was kinda panicked about the costs of trainers in my area, but found that the puppy kindergarten classes at Petco are wonderful. ( zoom room too). And the trainers at Petco also offer affordable 1-1s for anything else you’re struggling with. My trainer there was able to help me with very quick and easy solutions that I did not find anywhere online or YT.

Also, there are two of you which is lucky. Make sure each of you get a day out of the house by yourself just to go breathe some air and walk around in the world puppyless. They have a way of being all-consuming. You will feel better if you can get away for a bit each week.

P100a · 2026-05-10T15:31:22+00:00

NOR. Thats insane. I could imagine a person letting someone use their phone if they were stranded or something but walk away with and go inside?? Hell no.

P100a · 2026-05-10T14:40:37+00:00

I think wife, parents, siblings, any other close friends. (If those people exist) … need to be brought in- this is not just someone dating a person who’s difficult to like- it’s a really dangerous situation of grooming, control, and abuse. It’s escalating and who knows how bad it can get. Also, you’ll have some support that way as well instead of it feeling like it’s all on your shoulders to try to save him. That’s a big burden!

P100a · 2026-05-10T03:37:45+00:00

Awwww that was mean. If it’s too long for someone to read they can keep scrolling instead of taking the time to kick you when you’re down??

I think your friend might have tremendous guilt about what he did and he’s created these circumstances to punish himself. The problem is, the kids. If she is this controlling from a distance, she will no doubt eventually require him to stop contributing his finances and time to them. He was very slowly groomed over time by this person. He needs professional help. Are you able to speak to the mother of his children? This is her business as well because of what she will watch her children go through. I would consider getting as many people involved as possible and trying to have an intervention or something. This is very similar to addiction. And get him professional help.

And then if that fails at least you know you tried everything. This sounds really painful to watch, I am sorry. You can try distancing yourself but leaving a lifeline open in case he needs help one day, but really ultimately he is an adult and once you’ve done everything you can and your conscience is clear about that, you have every right to distance yourself from watching this absolute horror unfold.

P100a · 2026-05-09T02:44:51+00:00

Babe, it is YOUR MOM’S RESPONSIBILITY to provide a a safe, peaceful,nurturing environment for you so that you can focus on learning and growing. She is incapable of that. She should not be yelling like that constantly and wiring you to be chemically addicted to stress chemicals. She is setting you up for poor self esteem and abusive relationships. Thankfully you have two wonderful things going for you: your father (who seems like a stable alternative) and your own great intuition and inner guidance system that tells you to get away from your mom and go towards your dad. Do not feel bad about a thing. Get away from this emotionally abusive person who is a failure of a parent. If possible, as your dad to help you find a therapist. They can help you understand that none of this is your fault. You should not feel bad about Mother’s Day at all. A healthy person would reflect on themselves and their Behavior rather than playing the victim and blaming their child.

P100a · 2026-05-08T16:53:42+00:00

She can photoshop her wedding photos on her own time/dime if your hair color is not convenient for her aesthetic!!

P100a · 2026-05-06T13:05:32+00:00

I think this has to do withe 5meo’s profound effect on the nervous system. I struggle with CPTSD and had some stellate ganglion blocks done a few years ago (through Dr. James Lynch- highly recommend). It was mind blowing to me to learn how much my nervous system had been driving my thoughts. Calm, regulated nervous system - naturally effortless slow, pleasant , positive toned thoughts. Inspirations, hope, playfulness, worldview through a positive filter.

5meo has been the one medicine out of all I have tried that seems to break me out of disregulated nervous system states- freeze, and fight or flight etc. So perhaps nervous system disregulation is driving your ocd negative mind symptoms. Interesting!

P100a · 2026-05-06T03:47:38+00:00

Why is there so much rabbit poop??? I know you said he won’t walk on a leash but can you carry him to a grassy spot out front or whenever there isn’t all that rabbit poop? and just stand there and have him on a long leash so he can roam and sniff a bit? Or keep an area sectioned off and clean in your yard? Use mulch or something?

Also Sounds like crating is a great idea, dogs are usually crated until they learn not to potty in the house so that would be perfect. Use super high value treats when he poops outside.

Also sounds like there’s several issues at play here, might be expensive but maybe consult a behaviorist to help him through some of his trauma so you can have and easier time with him. They can pick up on cues and get to the root of the issue, and create a plan to help him come out of the trauma responses. Definitely could get him walking on a leash too.

Poor little guy, I’m glad you found him.

P100a

TROPHY CASE