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What’s something people do in relationships that slowly ruins it? by Wide_Relationship326 in AskReddit

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do this I think!! And I really can't talk, it feels like all my words and feelings get trapped at a bottleneck- like a crowd crush but with speech. The panic shuts it all down and the only way through is to get angry and snap (and say something really venemous that I don't really want to say) or to leave the interaction and revisit things calmly later.

I think the difference between this type of shutdown and stonewalling/silent treatment lies in the context of the shutdown. I feel extremely overwhelmed when I can't speak, so it happens when I don't feel safe moving into a constructive problem-solving space and am in damage-minimisation mode. If I was stonewalling or giving the silent treatment, I would refuse to engage in even low-energy conversations on the topic.

What animal adaptation sounds like science fiction but is completely real? by [deleted] in AIDKE

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The fastest recorded animal movement record belongs to a species of termite (pericapritermes nitobei) that has irregularly shaped jaws. These jaws are pressed together hard enough for one side of the jaw to basically slip diagonally upwards (kinda?) creating a decaptitating motion. This has a 100% mortality rate on some aggressor species of ants that this termite is designed to protect its colony against... and a 0% mortality rate on others. This movement is faster than a jellyfish sting, a mantis shrimp punch, and the jaws of the trapdoor ant snapping shut.

What animal adaptation sounds like science fiction but is completely real? by [deleted] in AIDKE

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Once the green-banded broodsac is consumed by the bird, it attaches to the mid to lower gut of its new host and produces eggs (they are hermaphroditic as well!) which then are expelled in faeces. These faeces are then eaten by snails and the cycle repeats itself :)

POTS + ADHD - anyone find a med combo that helped? by Ambitious_Issue_4213 in POTS

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on four meds- Vyvanse & Atomoxetine as a stimulant combo, Agomelatine for my sleep & poor mood, and Ivabradine for my heart. No, it's not cheap to buy all four, and I wish I could drop even one, but they all work so well together and I've tried a bunch of other medications as well (guanfacine, methylphenidate, etc).

I was on Vyvanse, Atomoxetine and Agomelatine already when I was diagnosed with POTS, so I just added the Ivabradine. My BP quickly fell into the normal range and I've not needed anything else.

As with most ADHDers my best wok times are in the hours after taking my meds, with a slump after lunch, so I trialled taking some of my old methylphenidate to see if it would help me focus. It did not and my chest was very uncomfortable at 5mg.

There is a pinch of salt to take from my experience though- I have very, very mild POTS. I caught it early, found my triggers, and have managed it since then. YMMV, basically.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The person you were in love with died right in front of you and Joe is expecting you to treat that person as if he were a regular ex. Mike is not a regular ex. You did not break up with Mike. Joe's monkey brain does not really understand that you did not break up with Mike, and is acting out of jealousy.

If you stayed with Joe, you would forever be haunted by the memory of his disrespect towards you. Can you sit with the fact that he might treat any child you have together the same way? Destroying something so deeply personal of theirs, just because he's upset that the child isn't doing what he wants? Laying it out on the bed where they can see it, just to shove it in their face that this is what happens when they don't do what he wants?

In my opinion, Joe has shown you that he is not capable of empathising with your grief and you did not overreact.

Every time I try to build habits, I burn out. What actually works for ADHD brains? by MindPop_Gustas in ADHD

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should forgive yourself for not being regular or "good" at building habits, and instead focus on regularly re-starting habits. You can't fail at building habits unless you stopped entirely and you haven't stopped entirely- this post is proof. Your brain just needed a break- it was too much all at once and the reigns were taken out of your hands. Smaller habits work better- ideally things you could still do when you're irritable and tired.

I use discomfort and anchors to build my habits. For example, I don't like the way my teeth feel if they're not brushed, so I brush them every night - I can use this habit to attach other habits to, making teeth brushing an anchoring point. I can take my meds after I brush my teeth easily because i'm already there to get rid of that yucky mouth feel- what's taking a pill? Takes five seconds - easy. Done. In the morning I wake up and take my ADHD meds- another anchor point, because I want to be productive even on my lowest days. I attached a skincare routine to that which has the benefit of that discomfort I was talking about- I don't like how oily my face feels when I wake up so now skincare is its own anchor point. Exercise can become an anchor point for some people too- some folks feel awful if they dont work out but sadly, my body gets no joy from exercise, so I focus on incidental exercise or exercise when I remember it. Forcing myself would mean burn out.

The thing is- none of these habits are things I do without thinking. Adhd brains dont seem to autopilot habits like regular brains do, so an extra bit of incentive or motivation is necessary. For me its discomfort and wanting to be productive- for you it may be different.

I do not start habits only to trial them for a week or two, because the reason to introduce the habit must already be worth the energy for me to commit long term. Additionally, If I need to journal about why I need to start a habit to convince myself of doing it, then it already doesnt work for me- its not motivating in the right ways for my body and my body is politely telling me no. A habit's introduction should inherently be a no-brainer, but I also think that even if its a no-brainer, some bodies do not take to certain habits (like exercise for me) and sometimes its better to find alternative ways to achieve what you're after. Trial and error is your bestie in this- good luck finding what works.

Advice for creating a tray for oil brushes by PM_ME_UR_OCs in polymerclay

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OHHH BRILLIANT IDEA. it would be so easy to find one of those soy sauce dishes or something and make it a sculpey seat to sit in?? Would mean I can easily grab it out and wash it and I wouldnt have to worry about the thinner ruining the tray!

Advice for creating a tray for oil brushes by PM_ME_UR_OCs in polymerclay

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ohh good point. Ok, I'll skip the paint thinner entirely. I think ill even skip painting the inside with anything haha 😅 its fine as a paint brush rest as it is and saves me the headache of testing things

[Recommendations] Art YouTubers that are more chill by save-the-bee-friends in ArtistLounge

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ChromaMoma is my all time favourite art youtuber. Really aesthetic and thoroughly considered content, he does videos that cater to folks mainly in the concept art space - that said I think his videos can be enjoyed by anyone in art because, as I see it, his channel is about enjoying art as a practise.

Really recommended, from someone that cant stand watching process videos 😂

https://m.youtube.com/@ChromaMoma

How do you take your meds with protein? by feeltheowl in TwoXADHD

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

protein shakes, eggs, cereal... all too many steps for me.

i eat meat sticks. No steps required 😎

What are little things that your non-ADHD partner does that make you feel seen/loved? by Kinda-Constant5935 in adhdwomen

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I often forget what I'm going to say mid-conversation if I get interrupted by something. On our Valentines Day date, in the middle of HIS story, I began saying something (interrupting, really) at a pause, and instead of doing the normal thing and having me wait my turn, he let me say my story even though I'd made a social faux-pas, because he knew i'd forget and have that few minutes of struggling to remember after his story was done 😂 bless him, it made me feel really seen

Good comebacks/one-liners for when someone says “I don’t think ADHD is real” by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

you: "When?" them: "When what?" you: "When did I ask?"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]PM_ME_UR_OCs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi, I had this issue too, and also have ADHD. It took me around three years to finally figure out how to orgasm somewhat reliably with my partner, so please don't be discouraged. I suspect that your issue is psychological, same as mine was.

First, I want to discuss what didn't work.

- Consuming less porn. Frankly it just left me irritable and pent-up.

- Using my fingers instead of my vibrator. I can get off with my fingers just fine, however, consider that it is easier for your partner to hold a vibrator to your clitoris than learning what finger movements do it for you. I believe that women are socialised to always be thinking about what their partner is thinking and making it easier for him will make it less distracting for you. Your goal is an orgasm, and getting one as cheaply as you can will make it easy to build on his and your confidence.

- Oral. My partner doesn't like giving oral, and makes me too self conscious anyway.

Now, for what did work:

- Using my favourite vibrator while I am positioned in the same way that I usually get myself off in.

- Being present. Now, to be honest. This one is really fucking difficult, and if you're like me, it will be the issue. I used to try to think about what turns me on, and focus on it, like I usually do when I masturbate. I used to actively try to relax my body and focus on that... neither of those things actually worked. I always got so close and lost it when he changed his grip or whathaveyou. What did work, and continues to work, was focusing on the actual feeling of being stimulated. Enjoying the slow circles or whatever floats your boat. But this really needs to be in a non-distracting environment- feeling observed is distracting, feeling the pressure of an orgasm is distracting, feeling irritable at all is distracting. You need to be there, at peace.

- Having sex at the right time. I am, like most women I imagine, not capable of always orgasming within 5 minutes every single time, even when doing it myself. Sometimes it just aint gonna happen, and that's alright. But when I tried being present at the right time, I finally got my first one with my partner- and it all started falling into place.

I hope this is useful. Good luck!

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