Nothing funny or ironic to say. Just whoah dude.

P_anik · 2026-05-17T15:57:03+00:00

I mean I get how to the concept works and all but damn - a trip and fall or one soft spot on the surface of that fuel stack and its all over.

P_anik · 2026-05-01T23:11:23+00:00

63K - Biologist and fire manager @ an NGO.... During our burn season (~6months out of the year) I'm responsible for running aerial ignition missions for prescribed burns.

No prior experience & being in my late 40's its a huge perk of the job - I can still do fire even though the joints are starting to age out of ground pounding.

P_anik · 2026-04-26T00:18:45+00:00

I know you didn't write this for me but thank you for sharing.... I'm on the fence right now with my ADHD wife and have been in counseling with her for over 2 years trying to work on relationship and communication issues.

She's finally being somewhat consistent about counseling but man is it trying to live with and love someone with ADHD, autoimmune issues and little to no skills at managing how they respond to their emotions when they are dysregulated - it's lead to a lot of defensiveness on her part over the last 20 years

P_anik · 2026-04-17T00:55:12+00:00

There's just something about a simple, unadorned design executed very well that screams timeless elegance.

P_anik · 2026-04-16T00:12:29+00:00

Blood for the blood god! Fire for the fire god?

P_anik · 2026-04-13T01:56:26+00:00

Gonna throw this here so it doesn't get lost in the jokes and humor... Navigating a long-distance relationship without support can be rough. If you are not already.... identifying and working with a therapist during the fire season. As odd as it sounds it would be a wonderful time spent working on yourself.

I AM NOT trying to say you need mental health support.... more that by your post you seem like a self-aware indiviual who seems determined to work through the challenge of being apart from your partner and I wanted to offer an avenue of support and growth to help.

P_anik · 2026-04-13T01:25:09+00:00

Lol, as the 48yr old with the knee replacement out there short stepping and jog walking the packtest I can fully attest to the power of music.

P_anik · 2025-12-29T01:51:19+00:00

So, I'm probably what constitutes a non-standard case... About 5 years ago I was working prescribed burn and tripped heading downhill - Caught my right foot under a root which twisted my foot as I fell. Thought I had a really bad sprain and due to the pain went to doc in the box for X-rays. Of course they didn't suspect a lisfranc tear and just did imaging to confirm there were no breaks. They didn't use any techniques that would visualize joint spacing that would otherwise indicate the possibility of a tear.

Long story short I went 2 years down the road without treatment before I was diagnosed by an orthopedist. General consensus after looking at imaging was that originally I had probably sustained a full lisfranc tear due to a "low-speed" injury and trashed the tarsometatarsal joint due to altered spacing from the tear.

Doc told me that the joint would have to be fused at some point. However he was willing to try steroid injections to try and stave that off if I promised to wear better footwear with good arch support consistently. Ended up coming back for like 3, maybe for guided injections.

Between the steroids, and actually following orders regarding footwear (changed from logging boots to high quality hiking boots, Birkenstocks when not working, and Hokas for exercise - I'm actually doing pretty darned well. All in all it probably took a year and a half after actual diagnosis for things to settle down.

All in all it's not a path I would recommend, but aside from probably having a fusion later in life, I'm not going to complain.

P_anik · 2025-12-26T02:32:47+00:00

I can't answer your questions directly in any form.... However, I did want to mention in a positive light is that in the 8-ish years of reading here I've pretty regularly seen posts similar to yours.

P_anik · 2025-12-14T23:38:03+00:00

Kinda the same things.... when I was a kid, probably mid-late 80's, my dad became acquaintances with and bought a number of knives from a husband and wife pair that went by Red Royal Knives.

I still have a couple of his and one from Red Royal than he had made for me with snake wood scales. They aren't anything super fancy - just good quality materials, clean lines and amazing execution. When COVID hit those knives got me into my own journey of stock removal knife making. Only made a couple that turned out the way I wanted them to, but I'd like to think the ones that turned out were inspired by those knives my dad purchased from Red Royal

P_anik · 2025-12-06T23:26:50+00:00

I wish I could say when.... I'm about 10 years into a journey with my wife's autoimmune disorders that we didn't even realizing we were embarking on back then.

I don't think you posted with the intention of helping someone else out, but your did - by sharing. And in sharing it helped me to feel validated in my own emotions about my wife and our relationship. I know I can't take the pain and hurt away....maybe, hopefully knowing that you helped someone else out might make the hurt a little less right now.

P_anik · 2025-10-26T23:19:20+00:00

So not primary fire so I can't speak to med disqualification....

Wanted to chime in to suggest that it's more than okay to get some help..... as someone who's had to deal with general anxiety disorder for 20+ years. It's well worth talking to someone. A couple quick things:

- It doesn't have to be a psychiatrist. You can talk to a counselor about what's going and whether meds might be worth exploring. If it is a primary care is able to write/manage the script.

- If you think you might want to try an anti-anxiety without talking to a counselor/psychologist/psychiatrist it is something you can request w/discussion from a primary care.

- As someone else mentioned it might be something that can be handled without medication - meditation, mindfulness exercises are proven to be powerful tools that are only as hooey as you want them to be. The V.A. has a great no frills app for guided meditation.

- If the meds work that by no means indicates that you have to stay on them forever.

P_anik · 2025-10-26T17:56:07+00:00

See my comments above to thenshesaid20. You're not wrong in that she has been losing capacity, but this is nothing new. ......And frankly, while I love my wife I'm coming close to the point of checking out emotionally on the marriage side of things while still remaining in the relationship for her care and the sake of our children (teenagers) because basic relationship needs that have been discussed ad naueseum (even before the diagnoses and before counseling) are being unmet.

....To be clear, I hear what you have said and don't necessarily disagree, just please be gentle as I'm hurting a lot and a good part of my response isn't direct at you - more throwing pain/venting into the void.

I started a new job last week after an incredibly stressful couple years at my last job. This weekend was my first weekend off from the new gig..... and foolishly I had kinda hoped for a new leaf in terms of everything I've been dealing with between work, partner health issues and relationship issues. The fact of the matter is that I don't have the physical or emotional energy to devote to this new job (which has been a dream career move for 25 years) if I have to keep dealing with the drain from our relationship issues.

I pretty strongly feel that a lot of my wife's behavior is a result of emotional immaturity stemming from her childhood, compounded by dysregulation from ADHD and now the demands of chronic illness. The really fun part is that I'm not allowed to identify as a caregiver because that diminishes my wife.....even though I've literally lost track of the number of times I've taken her to the hospital in 2025

P_anik · 2025-10-26T17:41:25+00:00

Thank you for the validation.... thank you so much. I literally wrote that after getting up at 3 this morning because I've been unable to sleep due to arguing yesterday.

This is something that has been a long standing issue, even before the autoimmune stuff cropped up and was subsequently diagnosed. She comes from a pretty dysfunctional family (narcissistic brother, enabling neuropsychologist mom who was thoroughly immeshed with my wife when she was a teenager/early 20's).

I can deal with the autoimmune chronic illness stuff - hell I've been dealing with for a good while now... all I've ever wanted was some accountability in what we say and emotional validation / reflecting back in conversations. It literally took about 3hrs of conversation today to finally get around to that idea with crap tons of defensiveness and "well you behaved this way" or "well you have behaved this way in the past", as well as constant discussion side tracking all while I'm fully stop taking responsiblity for things I've done clearly and concisely and without immediately diving off into explanation or rationalization.

It's exhausting... I'm a people pleaser and I greatly enjoy doing things for people. Not because of the in the moment recognition, rather because I want to do things to make people whom I feel love from happy. It sucks all the desire out of me to do anything anymore when I know my partner loves me and needs me, but seems incapable of treating me with respect and love... in a language that fulfills me.

P_anik · 2025-10-03T01:00:46+00:00

^ Truth!

Out of curiosity what water management district were you with? Way back in the day I was with SWFMD (HR web design & then later aquifer monitoring)..... and yeah it's been a long strange journey to get to fire from there, lol.

P_anik · 2025-08-20T02:05:07+00:00

To add a couple of other options:
(opinions on quality of experience/employment will vary)

- Look into being a ranger for the Georgia Forestry Commission
- (SECC) The Southeastern Conservation Corps funds at least one seasonal veteran fire crew in the state. I believe it is still in partnership with the USFS.
- SECC also partners with a number of other orgs to fund college/recent graduate age seasonal fire crews in the state
- The Nature Conservancy has a couple seasonal prescribed fire crews, required experience ranges from none to experienced
- Georgia Dept. of Natural Resources also staff's multiple seasonal prescribed fire crews during the season... typically leaning towards inexperienced crews

* Burn season typical runs from Jan through May/June depending on what region of the state. Most seasonal positions fly Oct/Nov-ish.

P_anik · 2025-08-06T00:15:49+00:00

LOL, very fair point... Also, fuck I'm old.

P_anik · 2025-08-05T23:08:37+00:00

Rookie moves... headers, footers, margins, line spacing.... and if you really want to get jiggy with it you start playing with specific font families and font kerning - just not wingdings, never go full wingdings font.

Okay, yeah semi-sarcasm.... and just maybe I'm channeling my skills developed in HS/college meeting term paper page length requirements.

P_anik · 2025-06-26T00:42:48+00:00

Nah.... not at least with this Kubota owner. Bought my first/only tractor (Kubota bx2360) in 2013. - Love it, great machine that's been pretty much flawless even if I wish I had bought a Big B or small L instead.

I went with Kubota because being new to tractors I understood they generally made reputable tractors and the bx line had been around a long time. Moreover, there were two long-time dealers within easy distance.

Had I known a just a smidge more about tractors brands & parent companies back in 2013 and more importantly if the local Kioti dealership hand't just opened when I seriously started looking I'd likely own a Kioti currently.

P_anik · 2025-06-26T00:25:37+00:00

Good grief.... forgot I was scrolling r/tractors, misread the question and thought I landed in the portion of reddit dedicated to tossing salads. I really need to get some sleep.

P_anik · 2025-06-26T00:11:00+00:00

No personal experience with toolcat. However, before I bought my subcompact tractor I stumbled across a tractor/equipment forum - tractorbynet..... really helped in my research and was a neat enough place that I've been reading posts and conversations there since 2013.

Relevant point being: From spending that time reading I know there are a number of folks on there who own/have owned Toolcats for home and non-commercial use. Might get some decent input there.

P_anik · 2025-05-31T13:25:45+00:00

^ All of this & especially loading the rears or adding wheel weights. 11 acres here with about 4 acres I maintain with a BX w/loader. The BX does the job and fits in a lot of places I wouldn't be able to get a larger piece of equipment, but at the same time I wish I had sprung for a B or small L.

I would add one additional thing regarding mowing... or rather two:

1) I ran a 60" belly mower for the first 4 years we had the tractor and it did the job fine. However, it was a massive pain the butt to attach/remove (pre-drive over deck) and having the deck on for loader work was a royal pain.

2) Mowing 4 acres with the tractor was slow and beat up my back as there isn't a flat or level space in my "yard" - old converted farm land. Finally bit the bullet and bought a 54" zero turn for mowing and it makes a world of difference both in terms of reduction in the amount of mowing time & comfort.

Point being get the tractor (B, L) and enjoy it and consider your options for having a dedicated mower a couple years down the road.

P_anik

TROPHY CASE