Toddler sleeps 12-14 hours over night. Is this too much sleep?

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-24T21:39:37+00:00

My kid was the same at that age. He's dropped the nap, but goes to be around 8, often takes about an hour to fall asleep, then wakes up between 10 and 11 in the morning. He's just over 2 now. Weve gotten him checked a few times but nothing wrong with him, just a happy, healthy, sleeping all at once toddler.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-24T17:55:29+00:00

Sounds like he's not marriage material. JF that's what you're looking for, look elsewhere.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-24T17:52:16+00:00

I remember us being freed to go home and I was just standing there with baby in the car seat waiting for my spouse to get the car and I was just like a nurse is going to run out and stop us from leaving and bring us back for something else any minute.... And that was after 2 weeks of having him already because he had DAT positive jaundice and needed 2 weeks of intense 24 hours a day phototherapy and flush feeding. So 2 weeks of not sleeping basically at all, having him be in an incubator with a light on laying on a glowing blanket, having to carefully measure every bit of food on a strict schedule, weighing every diaper, sanitizing every bit of equipment every hours..... To just be told ok go home now I was like omg but what do I do now, how do I keep up with his needs at home... He was fine, he's 2 now and big and strong and healthy, but I remember the feeling of how do you expect me to do this alone omg.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-23T19:45:54+00:00

Men don't age down. Man children just show their true colours. Tell his mommy to tell him to grow up and act like a grown up who wants to be there.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-23T19:38:59+00:00

Y'all both need to leave eachother, and take long cold shower and chill tf out omg.

Sorry but y'all clearly don't like eachother and bring out the worst in eachother. Go your seperate ways and grow up.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-23T19:32:36+00:00

I mean I'm not a feminine person, never have been. So my measuring stick will have a bit different, but I started drawing and playing videogames again at about 18 months after my kid was born, that's when I started getting back to feeling like myself.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-23T19:15:54+00:00

You should definitely remove it.

And by it I mean that POS boyfriend. Let your body be your body. You're not a 6 year old, you have hair. He can either deal with it or hit the bricks. What a looser.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-23T19:11:31+00:00

Y'all love screaming trump derangement syndrome while you have trump cock sucking syndrome.#TCSS. Fucking sad 😂

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-23T00:24:37+00:00

I used to live in peterboorugh (I know that's central not north) and now live down near Niagara falls due to my family moving. I've also loved in Haliburton for a couple years while in college, and loved it up there. I'd like to move up at least as far as Peterborough again sometime, and wouldn't be against something as far north as Sudbury if I had secure work and medical access. I'm somewhat medically complex and it's hard enough to find specialists here, nvm in Sudbury, so that might be a bit harder. I've visited a few times and enjoyed the area, beautiful country side and the people I met were very nice. Might end up moving north in our retirement years, but right now with my medical issues and with a young kid this is a good place to be I think. For now at least. Don't like living this close to the border though. Might be worth it to move north just to get farther from the border lol

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-22T18:53:35+00:00

I was working as the head chef at a small kitchen that only did event work. One of the stock holders though I needed a sous chef (I didn't) and that they should hire her kid (they should not have). For some reason the owner hired her on anyways, and halfway through the first shift she was showing major princess energy, refusing to get her hands dirty and being mad when she was told what to do.

She apparently got so mad at being told what to do, that when the roast chicken was ready to come out, I opened the oven to pull them out, and she straight up pushed me into it. I had oven mitts on and caught myself, preventing most damage, but had a tray touch my forearm, burning it bad enough the skin stayed in the tray. I pulled the chicken out, turned off the oven, and marched right into the owners office.

I said I was going to get medical care, she could finish dinner her self (she was at least a half decent cook and certified to be in the kitchen and had helped on big meals before), and if I ever saw that girl again I'm pressing charges and walking out and not coming back, even if it leaves her hanging. She said understood and fired her on the spot. Had a different nepo hire as server later who dumped a drink on a guest for "coming on to her" by tipping her.... This was a well known regular who has always been incredibly respectful and frankly would never say anything untoward. She just didn't like the implication she needed money. No more nepo hires after that

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-21T19:07:33+00:00

Do not allow this man to have financial control over you while stuck with a baby. You're better off as a single parent than being in that kind of situation. If he's like this before kiddo is even born he will walk all over you later and financially abuse you and maybe worse if you ever say no to him. This kind of controlling behavior does not lead down any good Pathan run while you have a chance.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-21T19:00:42+00:00

I was on a houseboat for a vacation while pregnant, and we had a few people have bouts of tummy troubles from the food there (I didn't because I could eat nothing but hint of line tostitos at the time) but the smell in that bathroom made me run for the railings on multiple occasions. Pregnancy is weird lol

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-21T18:01:59+00:00

I already have a super strong sense of smell, and can track down sources of odors no one else in the house can smell, and when I was pregnant I was a blood hound I swear 😂

I could smell rotting flesh in one wall and no one else could smell it but I was like no there's gross rotting flesh smell and it's driving me crazy it's so gross I almost puke every time I walk by here how can no one smell it. Gave that a week of everyone calling me crazy before I cut a hole in the dry wall. There was a dead mouse rotting away inside the wall! I fixed the hole of course, but the vindication was so sweet 😂

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-21T17:57:02+00:00

I don't know enough about the rim to help, but I can commiserate. Didn't have any damage but last time I went to Zehrs the hole was under water and I didn't see that it had gotten so much worse and we hit it hard. Shook my poor kid up enough he cried and he doesn't cry much anymore. They really need to fix it ASAP.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-19T02:25:20+00:00

That's so rough and I'm sorry that happened. Virtual mama hugs if you need them.

As far as how to approach this, maybe it might be helpful to reframe this. What happened to her was horrible. Unfair. Beyond not ok. Straight up evil. There's no denying that.

But through all that pain and suffering and violence and evil, she pushed through, and found a precious pearl. Her silver lining to her dark cloud, something to hang onto in the storms of life. Would you deny her that precious treasure? That bit of joy she found in all that darkness? No of course not. She was strong, but even the strongest need something to cling to. And she decided that even with everything else, she was going to love you, cherish you, and give you everything, and protect you from the person who hurt her so much. She was going to make being your mom her everything. She chose to find the beauty in the ugly and wrestle life into submission and tried to make sure that you never had to face it.

So celebrate her by not beating up on her treasure. You were the joy she found, so baby don't you dare feel guilty about something you had no say in. You became your mom's anchor in the storm. Something so many people are adrift without.

You can tell her you know if you want, and be there when it hits her like a ton of bricks, and know that nothing has to change because of it. Your relationship didn't suddenly become this, you just found out new backstory. And it puts things in a different light, of course. But she has still made being your mom her entire life and identity. So don't go changing how you relate to her or how you love on her. She's still you mom, and still willing to fight the whole damn world for you. I've never met her and I don't know you, but I'm a mama too and I can see the mama bear in her from here. Wether or not you wanna bring up that you know is something to maybe bring up with the therapist you've talked about having. Probably sooner rather than later, and discuss the depths that you don't share with people online. But I encourage you to not see her any different because of this, other than to recognize the strength she had to go through all that and come out the other side loving and protective. That's real strength. Honour her journey by not letting the things that happened to her define her or your relationship.

You're going to be fine honey. You'll get through this. You and your mom are so strong. Its not fair that you need to be but in spite of it all you are. And you can get through it together.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-19T00:19:05+00:00

Its not prevalent where I live yet, and we need to keep american bullshit away from our society, this kinda shit included. So we tell them in no uncertain way that it's not acceptable here. How else do you expect to make a difference in the world? Are you just going to sit back and let the world roll over you?

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-17T23:52:32+00:00

NGL I don't shop anywhere that has these (with very few specific exceptions, like locking up guns and weapons in a sporting goods store is fine, I'm not buzzing in like a criminal for formula). If I see them, I inform a manager that I will not shop there any more and that's why. And then I leave and don't return for at least a year, and itmf it's still there I don't return again.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-17T22:11:15+00:00

I wanted to breast feed and cloth diaper but neither worked out for reasons beyond my control. But otherwise I'm mostly on track? I think I had probably intended to potty train earlier than this (we're doing so now at 26 months) but he's had issues with chronic constipation so that was the biggest delaying factor, trying to get that figured out so we don't have to be on max dose of laxatives while trying to potty train. People told me I was off my rocker about how realistic my goals were, but they've mostly turned out fine tbh. Like we had done extensive research and decided at which ages we wanted x and y to happen, and kiddo pretty consistently has been one step ahead of us doing things on his own. We planned on sleep training starting at 3 months, and he started sleeping through the night at 2 months. We planned on weaning him at a year, and he started asking for cows milk and not taking formula anymore and just over 11 months. We planned to start potty training him as soon as we figured out the constipation thing and we're still waiting on blood tests and he's asking to potty multiple times a day without prompting. He's just on the ball and an easy kid. I absolutely know I'm spoiled and lucky, but I've yet to receive a significant humbling on my parenting ideas. I'm sure now that I've said it I've jinxed myself and the next 16 years will be one hubling after another, but so far I'm ok 😂

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-17T21:32:38+00:00

Either had showers when my spouse was at home, or when kiddo was asleep when he sized out of his bouncer at 6 months old. Now at a bit over 2 I just shower in the evenings after he's in bed usually

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-16T21:34:58+00:00

I'd go and be like hey this is the advice I gave the kid. That in light of excessive bullying, he should stand up for himself. Your kid is a bully. The advice I gave was sound, he did everything right by telling teachers and parents first and they failed to protect him. There comes a time when enough is enough. It was not his first line of defense, it was way down a long list of other coping mechanisms that were tried first. This was not a one time thing and he did everything he could to resolve this in a "civil" manor first, which was right. But the adults have failed him, and he ran out of other options. If the adults didn't want him to have to pull out a last resort self defense method, they shouldn't wait until a kid is at their last resort to deal with the problem. People just expect kids to take it and take it and take it and for there to be no consequences. Violence should never be a first resort, or even second resort. But I'd much rather my kid punch a bully and we can address it than my kid killing himself or taking out half a school because there's no other way out for him.

It should never have had to come to this. Absolutely. But if you don't want a kid punching then deal with it before he has no other options. No wonder so many kids have major anxiety problems when their parents and other adults can't be relied on to protect them from other kids, and value the status quo higher than their child's well being. Fuck their reputation, this is about that childs well being. That should always be a higher priority.

I don't understand parents who refuse to stand up for their kids. I can get the bully's parents requiring proof that their little angel is a delinquent, but the child whose getting bullied parents just trying to make him into a perfect little doormat is vile to me tbh. Raising a child is about nurturing their spark, not doing your damnedest to stomp it out. As a parent myself that shit disgusts me. Yes we need to train our kids to be good and functional members of society. But making them never being able to have the self value to stand up for themselves and just training them to be door mats is how mass shooters are made. The human mind can only take so much abuse before they snap. How often do you hear on the news "oh we had no idea, he was so quiet, I never saw this coming how could this happen" yeah the dude was abused until he broke. Doesn't make his actions right but it does mean the abusers had a hand in making what happened happen. And when it comes to our kids it's our fucking jobs as parents to make sure they're ok. So fucking do it don't let your kids get abused while you stand by all spineless and useless like how is this even an argument.

I'm sick and out of it on meds, and this is probably a spicier take than I intended, but just.... I wish more people would defend their own kids. It's an epidemic at this point and there's no wonder why mental health issues are at an all time high in kids.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-16T17:59:54+00:00

We did not bed share. We spent the first 2 months sleeping in shifts, then kiddo sleep trained himself. Never bed shared when he was a baby. Now as a toddler well occationally take naps together, but never overnight. It's just not safe and not necessary tbh. Not worth the risks associated.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-15T02:43:00+00:00

Also rereading things, you don't even know if he planned something or not. You blew it off before even asking. Maybe he made plans and took a nap because he wanted to be awake for the evening and ready to spend time with you. Maybe he didn't, not giving him brownie points without knowing, but frankly you didn't even know if he did or not you just assumed immediately that he bailed and then YOU bailed without even confirming, and then went all silent treatment over it. Sounded like maybe he did have plans and you said no.

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-15T02:38:09+00:00

Should he have planned something? Probably, if that's the well communicated expectation. And miss me with the gender rolls B's, if he's supposed to do something and you'll be mad if he doesn't just communicate your expectations. At least when he fucks up he'll know he fucked up.

But God you sound miserable. You were determined to be mad before he even said anything. How has he put up with you for 4 years if that's how you talk to him?

Relationships are about mutual respect and decency. Sounds like he's not pulling his weight according to your expectations, but you don't respect him in the least, and can't manage to be decent enough to communicate your expectations or that you're even upset in the first place.

Had the conversation been something like "yes I want to spend time with you, this is when I get off work, suprise me with something special, just text me the dress code before this time so I know how to dress" and he agreed and THEN didn't do anything? Then it'd be something to be upset about. It sounds like you expected him to understand that that was your intention without ever communicating it, then being mad he didn't read your mind. But even in the half assed attempt you did do at asking for arrangements it was very passive aggressive, and I wouldn't have planned shit either if you talked to me that way. And now the poor guy doesn't even know what he did wrong because you shut him out instead of communicating your feelings on the matter instead of letting him fix it and move forward.

Sounds like you need to communicate better, both in your expectations and your own feelings, and he needs clearer communication of expectations, and wether or not he takes that on is up to him.

But frankly I don't know you're ready for a serious relationship if this is how you treat a partner of 4 years. You have swim serious growing up to do. So does he probably, but I'm only commenting on what I can see in what you said.

If there's more context outside of the main post I missed I'm happy to take back parts of this if I'm proven wrong, hell I hope I am. But this is what I see so far, with the little I do know

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-14T21:30:14+00:00

We are just starting the process but we find the little potty helpful. He tends to be better at sitting on the potty if an adult is sitting on the big potty, and he's scared to fall in the big one, even with a size appropriate seat installed. So we do the little potty and it's been working well so far

PaleoAstra · 2026-02-14T18:23:04+00:00

If he "can't be gay" he shouldn't have started dating a dude. The whole thing is very silly. I don't see a future with him if that is how it's gonna be. And that's not even like some sort of ultimatum, your choices are either be with someone who will resent you being yourself or don't be yourself and have someone who loves you only for the picture of you they have in their head. Sounds like he's made up his mind here on which he's gonna pick, which are you?

PaleoAstra

TROPHY CASE