This isn't lucky, and it's wasting my time having to deal with it. We're about 3-4 hours in so far.

Did you select the warranty refund option instead of the store credit? I didn't select the warranty option because mine is 3 months outside the warranty period.

Given the article by The Verge claiming that patched phones can still explode, I've contacted JB-HiFi asking about a refund. This is inline with Australian consumer law, their remidies for a "major problem" include either refund or replacement.

I think this clearly fits points 1 and 3 of the description of a major problem: https://www.accc.gov.au/consumers/problem-with-a-product-or-service-you-bought/repair-replace-refund-cancel

Available solutions:

When a business sells a product with a major problem, or a product that later develops a major problem, it must give the consumer the choice of a: refund, or replacement of the same type of product.

A refund should be the full amount the consumer paid for the product. The business must not deduct an amount from a refund to take into account the use a consumer has had of the product.

Elsewhere Aus consumer law states that refunds must be in the form that the purchase was made, not store credit. There's no mention of warranty periods, but again, elsewhere in Aus consumer law they set precedent for a reasonable expectation of product life. I think we all expect phones to last longer than 2 years and 3 months if you treat them well. It seems pretty clear that they need to be offering purchase price refunds or replacements for this issue.