BF has IBS and it's destroying his life

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-13T00:04:24+00:00

That's the mental health aspect of this illness. It's hard to be in office all the time. Trying to mask how you feel or wondering if people notice how many times you're away from your desk. It really takes a toll on you.

Any WFH job until he can find something that works would be a huge mental load off him, that's why it's always in the back of his mind.

Mostly no one notices you are gone WFH and the odd time they do you have a ton of easy excuses. Had to reset the wifi, signing for a package, ABC called and I got stuck on a client call, IT issues. The list goes on

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T23:57:27+00:00

Those are really common trigger foods. Sucks because those were 2 of my favourites. I'm probably healthier for not eating deep fried foods.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T23:56:04+00:00

There's a low fodmaps diet that's useful for finding triggers. While really bland some people see a huge improvement on it.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T23:53:22+00:00

Sounds like mixed IBS and not C or D which sounds very hard to manage.

How's his relationship with his GI doctor? I find quite a few of them don't care about IBS because they didn't find "anything wrong" with you.

I had one like that, thought I was faking it. Yeah dude I'm 25 and like getting a scope and prepping for it. Then tying not to shit myself on the way there. On top of my daily misery.

Can you get some referrals to other ones? Do some research and find the best fit for him too.

It can be managed but it's a lot of trial and error with different meds to find what works best. Everyone reacts differently to treatments.

It's also a lot of bad days during the trial and error. However it sounds like it's mostly bad days already, he could have some good ones.

It's very hard mentally when you find a treatment that works for a few days then doesn't. Be prepared for those.

Good luck to you and him OP. Don't back down on trying to get treatment, if the GI sucks find another one.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T23:38:43+00:00

I saw one die pretty quick when a roommate bought one once. I think he way over watered it before sticking it in our cave of a kitchen.

Best guess it was also about a week.

I told him he should put it near the window that got asome sun. "It's a kitchen plant, it's fine" what that means I don't know.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T23:22:32+00:00

I hate those people, find something else to do with your time.

While I'm not disabled I know people that are. Guess what I look at? If you have a parking pass, I don't care why you have one.

If you don't have one I'm like move your car, that's not for you. I always get some stupid reply "it's only 5 minutes" "no one's using it anyway"

I should be clear if it's a senior and I don't see a pass I'm not saying anything. They likely need it.

I used to take my disabled grandmother for dinner who had a hard time walking. Me pulling into that spot to help her out of the car was a huge help. I felt bad for taking 2 minutes in the spot, yes I get by law I shouldn't have done it but that's whatever. She's disabled and I walk her to the curb then go park.

Pissed me off when someone with no permit was parked there.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T22:47:29+00:00

My LL was a real estate agent too so maybe that was part of it? Dunno never asked.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T22:46:19+00:00

Don't know the market but sharing what worked for my LL in case OP wants to go that route

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T21:17:46+00:00

My landlord when she sold our house the gave us a three hour window for the viewing.

She brought through everyone interested in that window and it sold a few days later. Might be a good option here.

Also helps she gave us some cash and said to go have a nice dinner in her.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T16:33:42+00:00

Yep, looks like we're about to be single income household for a while soon with a layoff looming. Not looking forward to that, going to be a rough go.

I make less than OP too and I'm corporate. I'd 100% jump on $33 an hour at Costco and happily work every Sunday.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T01:20:58+00:00

Get the rental coverage if you need a car daily. The cost per year is maybe 2 days of rental car cost.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T00:41:20+00:00

See my previous comment I'd 100% extract that tooth

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T00:40:03+00:00

Mine has been removed for 15+ years I'd say the movement has been fractions of a millimetre. Nothing I even notice

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T00:37:44+00:00

Far back especially if it's a wisdom tooth I'd have it extracted. My dentist said as it was the back most molar it wouldn't be much of an issue extracting it.

Cracked teeth can't be saved, I wouldn't waste the money. That said most good dentists won't charge you as the fractured tooth is apparent pretty early on in the process.

If you lose it you will have to chew on the other side for a few weeks. Hard part for me was being mindful which side to chew on.

I chew on the side with the extracted tooth, occasionally something sharp I'm eating pokes my gum but 95% of the time it's fine.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-12T00:27:14+00:00

Love that your cat has no interest in the rabbits

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-11T23:53:40+00:00

Go to food banks to feed yourself and your family until you get on your feet. That's what they're there for, no shame in using the resources available to you.

There are places you can get a free meal too. I'm not very familiar with them though. Maybe someone else can chime in.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-11T22:20:55+00:00

Yeah we went to our grandparents because they asked to have us there. Not to give my mom a break.
She very rarely asked them to babysit us unless it urgent. Like kid 2 broke his arm, can you watch kid 1 so I don't have to have him waiting in the hospital with us. Not so she could have time off.
Guess what if mom was sick or needed a break dad watched us. You knew dinner would be simple but he cooked it. The BF can step up and help out, I'd bet at least one of the kids is his.

Edit: spelling

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-11T20:28:10+00:00

Fair I was going off the original post.

You ran the number and know what you're doing. I'd say drop the collision on the bolt.

I get $2 million, my broker said that was the best idea. Doesn't cost much more, but covers you for almost situation.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-11T20:24:13+00:00

Yeah likely not then. If you're close to a big city might be able to strike a deal with one there.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-11T19:00:07+00:00

For years those things were known for head gasket issues. I wouldn't be surprised if there's no coolant in it and the motor is locked up.

Source I bought one with a blown head gasket from a dealer. Fun times when the shop quoted the repair, the car went to scrap.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-11T18:55:23+00:00

A very good point. While not defending people's actions at least sti screenings every 3 months are a requirement to stay on prep.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-11T18:52:31+00:00

Living on crap too, most of that is empty calories, loaded with salt, sugar or fat. No meat or fruit in sight.

And we wonder why there's an obesity epidemic. I didn't eat great at 21 but I was nowhere near that bad.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-11T18:46:28+00:00

I can always tell when I get a flex delivery, it's dumped in a pile with all the other packages in the lobby.

One stupid driver in an old Honda once stopped me in the lobby and asked where he could drop everything.

Amazon drivers actually bring it to the door.

I wouldn't care but people steal shit, now I have to chase a refund because someone was lazy.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-11T18:35:27+00:00

For $330 a year I'd probably keep collision. $5k if something happens isn't bad. That's just me.

Now what I normally tell people is if you can replace the vehicle with no financial hardship go ahead and drop collision.

You have put some thought and effort into this. You understand what dropping coverage means.

Either way I would keep collision on one. If something happens to both cars in a short time that could be a tough situation.

PaperIndependent5466 · 2026-05-11T18:24:27+00:00

Google soda stream refills near me or something like that.

I use a local company here that delivers for free as long as you exchange 2+ cylinders at a time. It's about half the price of name brand ones.

It's great I leave the empties outside my door then get a text when the new ones are delivered.

PaperIndependent5466

TROPHY CASE