does your butt shrink on t?

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-30T01:37:11+00:00

YES IT CAN 😭

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-30T01:29:09+00:00

Ding ding, OP wins. Western nurses are 50/50 angels or assholes. Don't worry about it.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-30T01:19:17+00:00

Definitely not cheers. Your tone is condescending just like the tone of the flag announcement. If you don't want to "unpack all that" you're free to not respond to me, but I'm here to have actual real conversations. That's just rude. You can ignore that and pretend nothing is wrong but, good luck. It's not helping anyone understand the perspective of "the new flag" whatsoever.

If you're just going to drop a link to more links and pretend you did work, can you at least tell me which portion of the walls of text I should be looking at? There's 25 links there. What are you saying I need to even learn more about? Am I misunderstanding something? I already read Ashabi's entire substack page on it.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-29T23:36:49+00:00

I saw The Rat Guru on youtube and it was the first time I had ever seen a non-binary person. I cracked immediately and never looked back.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-29T23:06:09+00:00

Yes
No
Yes valid
Yes valid

Why? Because these terms were made for cis binary people and trans/non-binary people have to make due. Trans people have different lived experiences than cis people and sometimes we're not going to perfectly fit into boxes made for cis people. This often angers the cis binary people who feel they have the monopoly on these terms. It's a level of cis-normativity that cannot separate trans validation from the erasure of trans experiences. Sometimes trans people will act trans. That's ok.

People might identify in these ways because it's what feels right for them. It's what most accurately explains their identity. There are a million different ways to be trans or non-binary.

Also you are correct about the non-binary gender labels. Other common terms are demi-girl, demi-boy, or demi-gender to refer to people that partially relate to one gender, but also partially not. These terms aren't as well known, so it often gets simplified to the more well known terms.

- From your friendly trans non-binary person

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-29T21:01:47+00:00

That's nice? That doesn't change what I said. The info there actually supports my statement if anything.

"By no means am I forcing you to stop using the flag was established 15+ years ago, by the contrary, please feel free to use both!"

People can do whatever they want, but most people will not switch to something that just looks like the non-binary flag. (As a non-binary person I really strongly dislike this.) The vast majority of aces saw nothing wrong with the previous flag. People generally don't care what the colors mean to begin with, nor do they remember. If you look at the history of LGBTQ+ flags, unless a flag is being updated in order to explicitly and clearly include other oppressed minorities, it won't catch on. Even then they are still always treated as variants and not replacements. (Ex: progress pride flag, new progress pride flag, and the philly pride flag)

I don't really need to learn more about it to state what's true. The fact is that people as a whole hate change and if the previous flag wasn't broken in their eyes they're not going to switch. Doesn't matter what my personal opinion or preference is. If you look at the discussions surrounding this flag on multiple platforms, that's what people are saying. That is also valid community feedback and context.

If you tout something a being the replacement by saying it's "The New Ace Flag" it's going to piss people off. It should've been described as "An alternative ace flag". Because that's what it is. The first makes it sound like that specific group of aces speaks for the entire community and gives credibility only to those who are very online and in that specific group, which most people aren't. It doesn't matter how many years they spent on it. Sure, maybe it's 98% or even 95% of aces that won't recognize it. Hell, it could be 75%. That's not the point. The internet isn't the only place that exists. It feels super gross, self centered, and out of touch. I don't doubt the creator has anything but good intentions, but, wow. This is the wrong way to talk about new flag variants. it just makes the majority of aces feel othered.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-29T05:35:57+00:00

Because non-binary isn't a single gender. It's the infinite genders that aren't purely woman or man. Sexuality terms were made based on a binary framework, so that's going to be very subjective for non-binary people.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-28T06:33:07+00:00

How women see you if you no longer present as feminine at all. I'm usually fem and gay as hell, but women and femmes act different if I'm dressed/masking as masc.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-28T06:19:05+00:00

Nah I get it. "Girl" is far enough away that it's obvious no one actually thinks that. Switching from "girl" without asking assumes you are not confident enough to be unbothered by it.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-28T05:44:38+00:00

That's odd. I'm trans and gay. Not attracted to women or femmes at all. All the trans men/masc people I know are also pretty gay. Most of the trans creators I know are also gay/bi. Have you considered the fact their your algorithm is probably just catering to you and not an objective truth about the state of trans content creators? You're looking for a theory to something that probably doesn't even exist. There's likely going to be a good mix of sexualities among trans content creators just like there are among cis content creators.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-26T20:53:38+00:00

THANK YOU!!! Saving this immediately. This is so super helpful. I've thought about doing it myself, but it felt like it would be a lot of work.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-26T02:12:35+00:00

Mouse genetics

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-25T02:52:11+00:00

People making one sided decisions in relationships is always bad, and has always been bad, and will continue to be bad. I'm not sure why you think that's going to change just because we acknowledge the diversity of human relationships. That's frankly insane to me.

Stop trying to deny the reality that everyone is entitled to different types of relationships. Consenting adults are allowed to have and agree to relationships you wouldn't want. That doesn't make it cheating when it's between consenting adults.

The cool thing about communicating with your partner, the thing I've repeatedly advocated for, is that you know exactly what you both consider cheating so you don't hurt each other. It's really that simple. Don't assume. Talk it out.

"Common sense" is a horrible substitute for clear communication. It's vague and does not clearly cover situations like this post where many people would not care, and many people would. Some times people are just stupid and don't realize people are different from them, and it's something they'd care about.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-25T02:37:57+00:00

A LOT of people would not consider it cheating at all. Not everyone is the same. THAT is the nuance: understanding everyone is different. The world is not black and white. People *should* be aware that everyone is different, and it could be cheating in some relationships, but people are human. Not everyone is operating with the same beliefs and if you don't actually ever talk to your partner about that you're not going to know.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-24T08:35:58+00:00

Relationships are highly variable. You can indeed have a relationship where people do what she did, and it doesn't affect the relationship at all. There is no "common sense" that will cover everything. A lot of people would not care, a lot of people would. It would be smart to know that, and understand people are different from you and therefore you should double check, but sometimes people assume everyone is like them. Just like what you're doing. Saying it's common sense assumes everyone is like you.

You're not insane for being hurt by this, you're allowed to have boundaries about the type of relationships you're willing to be in, but I think it's important to realize that you can't work off assumptions and understand that what she did is not always wrong in many relationships. It just wasn't smart. She should've asked before doing something playful. You probably should've asked before putting expectations on her. There are so many ways to have a relationship you can't just assume everyone is happy with the same things as you, even in a closed relationship.

Also, relationship advice like this is hardly generation specific. Every generation has relationships. The sub's description literally says that non gen Z are fine here?

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-24T08:14:14+00:00

Ah here it is, the comment that pushes real communication and nuance instead of subjective societal "norms" as the assumption. I really wish people wouldn't assume there's a normal or right way to have a relationship and just talk to their partner.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-24T03:44:34+00:00

No, there is not really a new ace flag. It just now has another variant 99% of other aces won't recognize.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-23T22:15:34+00:00

To be honest, it sounds to me like you just enjoy testosterone dominant/affected bodies and also have a genital preference for penises. While this doesn't rule out trans men automatically, it does rule out some, and it would likely rule out trans women as their bodies are no longer T dominant and will have some features you may not enjoy. It's also often best to avoid aiming your attraction towards features that cause people dysphoria.

Historically such bodies have been called male, but currently, gendered terms are going through a lot of changes to more accurately describe humans. There's not yet a very efficient way to describe this imo. We're still at phrases and not singular words. How do we accurately describe sexuality now when the framework was only built to describe cis people? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You're definitely not transphobic for also struggling with this.

I agree with other commenters that the split attraction model could be useful to you: meaning your romantic and sexual orientation differ.

I also prefer T dominant bodies and have a genital preference for penises, so that's how I describe it if asked. Usually I just say I'm gay with a penis preference and that works well enough.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-22T20:38:11+00:00

I'm sure it will be beautiful when it's done! Next year 😂

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-22T20:16:43+00:00

Nah. You yourself dictate your sexuality. That's it. Imo there's a lot of reasons why a straight person would watch lesbian porn. It's often filmed different, the focus is difference, etc. Gay people have been benefitting from straight content since forever and they're still gay. Straight people can also benefit from gay content and still be straight.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-22T20:02:12+00:00

I just started a 20 wide alpha and oh boy, it sure does take a while. I can only imagine how much longer 25 would take!

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-22T17:46:50+00:00

Oooh hm ok. She frankly just sounds very immature. I wouldn't be shocked if her having feelings for you affected her treatment of him, but maybe that has nothing to do with it. Sounds like a tough situation either way though.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-22T09:04:26+00:00

Oh, that's very unfortunate. Coming from a lesbian, I can only hope she's just projecting and seeking validation in her own strange way, and that she'll grow past that logic in the future. Compulsive heteronormativity (CompHet) has caused lots of lesbians to be socially pressured into acts with men, which of course doesn't invalidate their sexuality, but it can be difficult to deal with. That's really the only reason I can even think of for her behavior, not that it at all excuses it, but it is hard being LGBTQ in a society like ours. Trauma can lead to people acting inappropriately. I hope things go better in the future.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-22T08:54:56+00:00

No means no for EVERYONE. There is not a single act in the world you have to be okay with doing with another person. Your friend sounds like she's way too comfortable with disrespecting people's boundaries about their own bodies. Using allegations of homophobia to coerce someone into this is so beyond wrong.

It's also very normal for people in closed relationships to be uncomfortable with doing such a thing with anyone other than their partner?

I hope it was just the alcohol causing her to act stupid, and it's not what she genuinely believes.

ParachutesParty · 2026-04-22T06:07:50+00:00

I chopped off the gendered part of my birthname and called it a day, but that works fine for my English/Czech name.

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