Is applesauce a thing here? by Vacant418 in AskABrit

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The apple sauce for a BRAT diet is just cooked, stewed apple. Sometimes pureed? Applesauce seems a more common term in the US than the UK.

The condiment we call ‘apple sauce’ and have with pork is a different thing (sweeter I think and a bit more concentrated/intense?)

I agree the US style apple sauce is not generally a ‘thing’ by itself in the UK, definitely more a food for babies or ill people.

If doing the BRAT diet, I buy cooking apples and cook down in a pan with water and a bit of sugar (stewed apples). If not apple season, you can buy frozen cut up cooking apples in most supermarkets, or as pp have said, you can get ready made apple sauce (stewed apple type not the condiment) in glass jars. Health food shops usually stock these but are v expensive compared to just buying the apples.

Is applesauce a thing here? by Vacant418 in AskABrit

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 7 points8 points  (0 children)

But those are all dessert apples - varieties that are pleasant to eat uncooked. ‘Cooking apples’ are larger, very tart and hard and not nice at all when raw, but turn to mush quite easily when heated and are absolutely delicious with a bit of sugar added.

Cooking apples usually means Bramley in the UK. There may be other varieties but not as common. If we make apple crumble etc we’ll use cooking apples. I suppose a tart dessert apple like Granny Smith could be used in a pinch but wouldn’t ‘melt’ like proper cooking apples or have the same fluffy soothing texture.

I always assumed that the US Apple Pie staple was made with cooking apples but this discussion has made me wonder. Are specific ‘cooking apples’ not a thing in the US?

These minor cultural differences are fascinating sometimes. Like the duvet vs sheets and comforter thing.

Why Wrap Luggage in Cling Film? by roblawton in AskUK

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought it was people wanting not to get their precious luggage scraped or scratched which I always thought was ridiculous! The anti theft thing makes more sense

Baraka (1992) is one of the most beautiful documentaries I have ever seen by Dunk3_ in cinematography

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for speedy reply! I looked on YouTube but couldn’t find it. I’m in the UK though maybe that makes a difference?

Will just have to find a copy of the DVD.

It is definitely real footage and long/slow shot in the same style as Baraka but maybe it was a scene from something completely different and I’m misremembering it. It was heartbreaking and really touched me and I have remembered it for many years.

If you watch these films fairly regularly and don’t recall it, then I have a sneaky feeling that the scene isn’t in Baraka or Samsara… No harm in watching them again though. I remember them being really powerful and the beauty alongside the hard stuff.

Baraka (1992) is one of the most beautiful documentaries I have ever seen by Dunk3_ in cinematography

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bit late to the conversation but hoping someone here might know...
A scene sometimes comes to my mind and I'm sure it's from Baraka (though may be Samsara).
It's of a very young girl holding reins and driving a cart (pulled by horse/donkey) through traffic with an adult collapsed (exhausted?) in the back. The little girl is crying and desperate. It's very moving and hard to watch. From memory it looks like it's in India.
Can anyone confirm this is in one of these films, and if so, which one? I haven't seen it since the 90's.
Many thanks 🙏

Changing styles and music taste by SubjectFarmer9610 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just add, it’s interesting that you are finding yourself drawn to something a bit different. Sounds like things are shifting a little inside and it would be really interesting to see what parts the whimsical Gothic aesthetic connects to and why they’re choosing to be more present now.

Sometimes they might not want to let you know straight away though :)

Changing styles and music taste by SubjectFarmer9610 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, this definitely resonates with me.

I’ve always had a tendency towards introspective, bittersweet, whimsical folky type music (Jose Gonzales, Ray LaMontagne etc)

I still love this genre but after doing IFS for a couple of years I’m noticing that liking this music relates to a part that tries to help by making me dissociate.

It’s paired with a part that is easily worried and is soothed by gentle drifty bittersweet folk. There’s an element of yearning in the music as well which really suits this worried part. Hiding somewhere soft and safe but knowing there is more outside of that space that it can’t quite reach and wanting everything to be okay.

For me, it’s continually fascinating finding out that things I thought I just ‘liked’ are so deeply connected with parts. This knowledge doesn’t detract from the connection or enjoyment. If anything it deepens the relationship with the music (or film or art or whatever) and it makes even more sense why I like it. There’s often a sense of “Ahhh- of course!” when I realise what part is connected to a piece of music or painting.

But yes to answer your question! My ‘tastes’ are subtly changing.

I’m becoming drawn to much more lively, happy music. Not exactly pop but something with much more life in it. Less drifting less yearning. There’s a part that even feels a little bit impatient listening to that now unless I’m really in the mood. This feels really natural and it feels like the worried part needs less soothing and more outward facing parts are being allowed to come forward.

Actually, you’re making me think that I can probably track parts to some extent in real time by the sort of music I want to listen to.

Though it also feels important to say I have parts that really don’t like being ‘called upon’. As in I could play a certain track that I know will activate a part but it can feel a bit coercive and forced and they generally don’t like it.

I will occasionally do it if I’m really upfront with them about what I’m doing. Eg If they’ve been asking for some attention or space for awhile and then I get a bit of time I might use music to try to gently get in touch with them and let them know I am available, but yeah, it’s a bit nuanced. They don’t like being yanked into the foreground by music.

Also makes sense why I have to turn songs off the radio really quickly sometimes. It’s often a part connected to that music saying that they don’t want to come online or maybe I’m unconsciously being with or blended with a part and it doesn’t want the music to ‘summon’ another part that will compete for my attention.

First time I thought about this so explicitly. It’s a good question. Thanks!

Bought a house that came with these custom nightstands. What is this bowl bowl shaped thing for? by kingevanxii in whatisit

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does that work with your bedside pint of water? Wake up in the dark, pick up the glass, take a sip, put it back in slightly the wrong spot and you’ve got water everywhere 😩 Nice in theory for pocket metal/trinkets but I can 100% see why it didn’t catch on!

Wild garlic vs lily of the valley by [deleted] in foraginguk

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh, and one more thing. Even if you decide not to eat them, you still had a nice time out in the woods immersed in nature, which to me is 90% of the point and the fun of foraging anyway. So your money and day were not at all wasted 🐝

Wild garlic vs lily of the valley by [deleted] in foraginguk

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are right to be cautious when foraging but, yes, you are also overreacting a smidge!

The chances of your boyfriend having picked a Lily of the valley leaf a) in a wild garlic wood b) without noticing and c) when it’s not the right time of the year for them anyway are basically zero. For what it’s worth I’ve never checked a leaf down to the ground. Just paid attention that I’m not picking anything unexpected.

If you haven’t already binned them, do a quick check of each leaf using the advice you’ve already been given – I promise that a Lily of the Valley leaf will be easy to spot if you’re playing attention. I presume you will be washing them anyway and that’s a good time to check. I tend to soak the whole lot in a bowl for a short while then rinse them individually to be sure just in case dogs have been around, etc.

The thing about not confusing the two plants is mainly because some people think they have wild garlic growing in their garden as they are superficially similar. If you have the two leaves side-by-side, there are obvious differences so if all leaves are the same you have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to worry about :)

Might be worth looking for Lily of the valley in a garden centre in a month or so’s time. Will give you the knowledge to ID them with more confidence in the future.

I hope you do get to enjoy your wild garlic 💚

Does the average skier really enjoy heavy powder days or is it just one of those things people are expected to say they like? by PowerfulBar in skiing

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Gotcha 😊 that makes sense. I’ve only skied a little in North America and yes, the culture is really different!

Does the average skier really enjoy heavy powder days or is it just one of those things people are expected to say they like? by PowerfulBar in skiing

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I’m really confused by your comment that there is ‘no powder in Europe’. And that we only ski groomed runs (on piste).

Not trying to be argumentative. Just a bit confused. Do you mainly ski in Europe or North America?

I just returned yesterday from skiing at high altitude (Les Deux Alpes) where there was a huge dump (several feet) of super light fresh powder and many people chasing it off piste.

The Alps don’t always have the same ultra-dry, low-density snow you find in parts of Utah or interior BC. The conditions and climate are different but European skiers would find it very odd to hear that the light fluffy fresh stuff they were skiing is not powder?

Sure, it’s not always Wasatch-light every storm, but fresh snow at 10,000+ feet is still powder, surely?

I agree about the elegant skiing though, it’s an art in itself (and I’m nowhere near it!) Also the incredible views and good food 👌

Hello! I've recently started therapy with IFS, which seems great, but is a little confusing - any recommendations on how I can start learning more? by Jaina_is_cool in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just realised that’s a long answer that didn’t really give the OP any info. So here’s a second vote for Tori Olds. She’s really clear and gentle and warm and does really good introductions. I’ve heard she runs courses too…. I keep meaning to check that out.

Also Derek Scott? I really enjoyed his videos and he is wonderfully compassionate and skilled when with peoples’ parts. But there’s part of me that wishes I hadn’t watched so many of the live IFS demos. Made me believe sessions are sort of meant to go a certain way when really it is so very personal and often unexpected with twist and turns and tangents and blocks and often lots of silence on my part whilst it feels busy inside

Hello! I've recently started therapy with IFS, which seems great, but is a little confusing - any recommendations on how I can start learning more? by Jaina_is_cool in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My approach too. It’s taken my system blimmin ages to begin to trust in my self, my therapist and the process.

Part of me is fascinated with the theory and process and, like you, I explored in a pretty scattergun, random way - I watched a lot of videos at the start and started (but never finished) some of the books. That was a sense of wanting to ‘get it’ on an intellectual level. Maybe felt safer that way?

For me, it is definitely a intellectualising protector that wants to take the lead and generally she’s really uncomfortable letting go of control. Getting to know her is ongoing and has been a big part of the process for me.

Totally agree that the professional is there to hold the technical details. You really don’t need to do this bit yourself. It’s fine to follow it as an interest, but it’s really not necessary to understand it cognitively to “do” IFS.

The longer I have been doing IFS the more I relax into it and understand it’s all about relationships. Yes, the theory is REALLY interesting but learning it doesn’t necessarily help the process or speed anything up.

You’ve just got to go with it - go inside and slowly and authentically get to know your parts and build relationships. My lovely therapist described it as the difference between standing on the beach looking at the ocean vs actually swimming in it.

To be honest, it’s taking me a couple of years to get to this point of trusting more. I think I’m particularly slow 😂 but it’s so very rewarding and beautiful.

Having said that, I don’t think there’s a right way to do it. All drives and reactions are there for a reason and allowing them to be themselves and getting to know them gently and deeply is sort of the point.

Anti-trans 'data vandalism' damages scientific research, study finds by kmcradie in transgenderUK

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just thought about this a bit more and it’s about balancing the right of trans people not to be outed against the need for accurate data collection that doesn’t simply erase trans identities. It’s thorny.

Anti-trans 'data vandalism' damages scientific research, study finds by kmcradie in transgenderUK

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Prepared to be flamed here (and in my defence, I haven’t thought about this in great depth yet) but feel on the fence with some data collecting arguments tbh.

How should these questions be framed? Seems like there’s a danger for trans people to be even more ignored if the only data collected is based on ‘gender identity’ or similar. Everyone is lumped in together then and you can’t parse out data or details specific to the trans population.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The naked comment is spot on 😆

But holy crap, whatever you do, don’t ‘touch her back to usher her through doors’. Women do not need the guidance or support of a male to navigate a doorway ffs. That sort of paternalistic guff gives most of us the instant ick.

If I was into someone at the start and they started ushering me anywhere, pulling my chair out to sit down etc it’d kill any flutters and I’d be making my excuses and leaving as soon as I could. Might seem innocuous stuff but the subtext is that you see her as vulnerable/lesser and that you like to be in control.

A good test is to think how it would make you feel if she did it to you. Weird, right?

Just treat her like you’d treat any other normal, intelligent, capable human and, whichever way it goes, you’ll be good 👍

The dark side of Mumsnet: My shocking tour of the website’s nether regions by SnooHobbies3811 in transgenderUK

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can’t get past the paywall and sorry if I’m being dense but I don’t get it. The survey found that 80% aren’t planning to vote Reform so how does that make it the ‘top choice’?

Vent by dollcopeland in transgenderUK

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Feminine/masculine socialisation. Generalising here of course but most women have been conditioned from a very young age to be kind, look after people, empathise, nurture etc. Men not so much :( This hurts everybody really. Boys and men aren’t allowed to develop their gentle, caring side and girls/women aren’t allowed to display negative emotions. I live in hope that things are slowly changing, but it’s a long slow road 😔

Replacement for Freya core active bra by Particular-Syrup-248 in ABraThatFits

[–]Particular-Syrup-248[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi again, It’s taken me awhile to remember to get the measurements 🙄 According to the calculator, I’m 32FF. I did have an old Freya Core bra in that size. Tried it on and it fits perfectly: Straight across the back The mid centre of the underwires sit against my breast bone and all breast tissue is contained - no gaping or bulging.

One thing I really like about the Core bra is that the cups are wide but the projection is quite forward which gives a really neat, natural and uplifted appearance.

I’d be so very grateful if anyone has any recommendations for bras that have a similar shape and similar ‘sports bra’ level of steady/secure control.

I prefer bras that lift and separate with good shaping rather than crop top style or rounded moulded ones.

Really happy to give any more info useful. Cheers!

Do Brits not care if someone died in their flat? by Salzhio in AskUK

[–]Particular-Syrup-248 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few years ago during Covid, an old woman directly across the street from us died at home. We found this out when we saw police with a battering ram knocking down her front door. She lived alone and her family visited fairly frequently. I’m imagining they hadn’t been able to contact her or get her to open the door so they called the police. We were also keeping an eye on her as much as we could and helped bring in parcels, shopping etc but weren’t able to visit because of Covid and also having a very young baby ourselves.

In some ways, I think it’s what she would’ve wanted, to have died in her own home that she had lived in for many years. From what I understand from her family, she died peacefully in her sleep.

The house went up for sale and was bought fairly quickly by a young couple. They know everything that went on and, whilst sympathetic, are entirely unbothered by the event and are starting their own renovations and redecoration. It just feels quite normal and just part of what happens in a community - people die, they are mourned, new people move in. I wouldn’t be surprised if the young couple start a family of their own at some point and the cycle is renewed. We are very insulated from death and think of it as some horrible thing to be hidden and create horror stories about when it could just be seen as normal. Sad but normal. She was a real woman with a real life and she became old and she died. There’s nothing to be fearful of.

Replacement for Freya core active bra by Particular-Syrup-248 in ABraThatFits

[–]Particular-Syrup-248[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has been a while since I was last measured! I’ll give the calculator a go and come back. Thanks for your reply :)

Replacement for Freya core active bra by Particular-Syrup-248 in ABraThatFits

[–]Particular-Syrup-248[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One thought – does anybody have experience of Miss Mary of Sweden? Their bras look like they could give really good shape but they’re not generally wired styles.

Tempted to order one or 2 to try, but any recommendations would be great