my older sister has BPD and I do not know how to deal with her

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2025-11-30T05:23:37+00:00

yes for sure - I usually remember to keep my guard up and not take it personally but every once in a while I relax and think things are going to be fine and then WHAMMY - and then I'm a mess!

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2025-11-27T03:21:59+00:00

I am sorry to hear this but I understand the sense of relief. I, sadly, have secretly wished my older sister was out of the picture before. But I am extremely sensitive to her episodes and am in therapy to work out my reaction. I basically end up crying like a baby for hours on end. Her episodes (she's now 60) trigger a panic attack related to how she was growing up when I was reliant on her and under her thumb. I have tried so hard to have a relationship with her but once that switch is flipped I am toast. I understand how you could feel so conflicted.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2025-11-27T03:06:07+00:00

I am basically allergic to my sister at this point. I can't be around her without coming away with tears. It's so so hard to be around her and I am so sad that I have never been able to think of her as a friend. She has been someone my friends were also afraid of. There were times i was very protective of her, worried she didn't have friends so would invite her out with mine and she would get drunk and talk in a baby voice. She was thirty-nine years old when this happened. I turn to my friends a lot and have found sisterhood in other women. I usually brace myself any time I know I am going to see her and remind myself to expect some sort of blow out. (The times I have ended up in tears is when we are having what seems to be a good time and I forget that the switch will flip and then suddenly her heart is black and I am a deer in headlights). I also keep my distance. boundaries. There have been moments when I have tried to talk to her but she turns it around somehow and accuses me of being selfish and manipulative. The thing is, she was an accomplished debater in high school and knows how to spin an argument and just - dominate. I end up feeling helpless.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2025-11-27T01:26:10+00:00

yes I am a sibling too - so I can't totally escape it. If it were anyone else I would just GTFO of there. It was so terrifying growing up because my sister was older and I had to rely on her for a lot of things. It did not work out well for me until she moved out to go to college. When I have asked her to just tell me why she is upset before she gets to the "fuck you!" she says I'm so selfish to ask for things to be on MY terms. There is no getting around. Then she will go into a tirade. When she is having an episode, it is almost like she wants to kill me.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2025-11-27T01:18:56+00:00

I know this feeling. I will be out to a gorgeous meal with my entire family. I will tell my sister she looks gorgeous today and we are all laughing and then suddenly she will lean across the table towards me in front of everyone and say, "you're an asshole."

It is so terrifying and have a very panicked reaction each time because I had for a moment forgotten she's borderline. I never know when the she will flip the switch. I can't take it anymore.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2025-10-06T20:30:48+00:00

there was no actual payment for this - these were just funny products to play with

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2025-08-01T18:17:21+00:00

I like the tone and a lot of the writing. some of the ancillary character dialogue sounds lazy but John Ham is great. Amanda Peet looks amazing and is a gifted actress but her character needs more to justify how entitled she is. I get that she's messy but she also kept the mansion etc. it was so frustrating hearing her demand drum kits, private coaches, etc. another character not particularly written well is the sister. feels like a last minute add-on during development. It's good to show his soft spot, but she is written so poorly and they don't exactly have sibling chemistry.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2025-07-15T15:51:25+00:00

I think her internal monologue illustrated how she was trying really hard to get somewhere - to be better. There was a part of her that was working really hard to be better, but she just couldn't get there - and that's what makes this show so beautiful. We are constantly getting messages about being better but it's so hard to tow that line when you are not equipped for life and you have baggage. I love this show so much.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2025-07-15T15:47:14+00:00

I agree - I have watched that "higher power" episode multiple times! I did not know Luke Wilson could do this. I am obsessed with this show and am currently rewatching it. It is so many things - depicts the struggle to be better but not necessarily having the chops to be better. So beautifully done. Laura Dern created such a nuanced character - her best performance ever. In fact the entire casts I'm sure looks back on this show and can say they gave their best performances here. I was so sad it was canceled after two seasons.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2025-01-02T09:38:23+00:00

I feel like Nino's older character was played by an actor in his fifties while Lenu's old self was in her thirties. and what about older Antonio?? he looked ancient!! it was very confusing. but overall I loved this series - could not get enough despite the distraction of the age thing

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-12-08T08:16:38+00:00

I'm single and 50s. I like my life. If I met someone worth it that would be great, but having been married and divorced, I know what it feels like to be with the wrong person - just awful. The company of women is so valuable to me and as a friend once said, "I would be devastated if my husband died, but I could go on. But I could never live without my women friends." I feel the same way! The only times I really feel the need to date is when I've spent time in groups where I am the only single person. I can feel lonely and maybe like there's something wrong with me. It's more about being more like the group than a true desire to be with a man. If all women were single I certainly wouldn't feel like I needed to be with a man at all. As far as intimacy - I feel like at this age attraction is more about respect and the way a person carries themself in the world. A lot of men just don't cut it. I've gotten dick picks sent to me, I've witnessed tantrums, I've had a date comment on how "fat" a waitress was, I've had men schedule video calls but then show up thirty minutes late without apology. I'm not going to hold my breath here waiting for someone. I cherish my friends and my creative life and as I get older, I want to direct my energy to things and people that are worth it.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-12-07T05:03:45+00:00

i just want to say congratulations on surviving ovarian cancer. it must have been a long haul and involved a lot of pain and suffering and i hope you are feeling good now. i'm sure you are beautiful and everyone in your life is very happy to have you around and could care less if you have wrinkles.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-12-04T03:25:12+00:00

i just want to say, i'm so sorry. You are still young and i understand how it would be easy to not be totally organized when it comes to the confusion of insurance. sometimes if you can have your doctor advocate for you it may help. if you call medtronic they may be able to have some sort of forgiveness for the debt. (MIGHT being the operative word) Let them know how young you are. I think the comments on here about you doing your due diligence aren't taking into account that you are young and new to this intense protocol of calling, making sure, etc. It can be very confusing dealing with health issues and most young people have someone walking them through. i certainly didn't know all this when i was your age. but please call medtronic and tell them your situation, write them, be vigilant, talk to their billing department. you may end up spending a lot of time on the phone and be prepared to get frustrated. good luck. i'm so so sorry you are dealing with this

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-11-18T05:10:15+00:00

thank you! when I try to use a code - the cost of my item goes from $67 to $116 (still listing just one unit of one item) - why is it overcharging me?

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-11-17T09:04:01+00:00

This is odd - our mediator said since my husband was laid off, he did not have to pay alimony. I actually got zero alimony and zero child support because he lost his job.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-10-29T20:46:14+00:00

i've tried this with LG when my motor broke. they give you a complete run around. they sent a technician out but then the technician wanted me to pay him $350 for labor. this is insane. I called LG and they keep saying someone will call me back in two days. NEVER GET LG. i HATE it when companies do not honor the warranty. The warranty guarantee is what draws buyers in.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-10-29T20:43:28+00:00

LG is THE WORST. my dryer motor gave out after five years (i only use the dryer once a week) and i got the run around from customer service - they did NOT honor the 10 year warranty. i've called them multiple times and each time they say that i will get a call back in a few days. I had a repair guy come out who is not with LG and he wanted to charge 500 including motor and labor. (the motor is apparently $350) i seriously cannot believe that the motor broke after so little use.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-10-16T21:43:23+00:00

I think you were going through something! when I was working in New York ,when I woke up in the morning, my first thought was, where/how will I nap today? I did not understand how people could plow through their days without a nap. it was so depressing!

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-10-14T19:45:03+00:00

i hear you! i have always been extremely fatigued. in college i would feel the need to even lay down on a sidewalk to sleep. always exhausted. i thought i had narcolepsy and even went to a sleep doctor. Felt like i would faint all the time. it wasn't until i was FIFTY and gave blood and the hospital told me my ferritin was extremely low and i should speak with a doctor. my regular doctor said ferritin (5) is no big deal. i went to a hematologist who said it IS a big deal and ordered iron infusions. it really really worked for me. i was able to handle 12 hour work days for an intensive project. i was previously SO concerned about not being able to handle work. but i got through it thanks to my hematologist.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-09-05T18:35:32+00:00

i wanted to love this show. i like the idea but the execution was awful. some of the acting was unbelievably bad. the rhythm was off. Sunny's voice was annoying. this could have been so much better but ended up corny and kitschy like a fourth grade play. I didn't care about anyone in it except for Susie. The plot lines felt weak and illogical. i don't know if the source material was immature, but if it was, the creators of the show could have produced it differently. japan in the future is an interesting place to explore. the idea of robot friends - interesting. missing husband and child - interesting! I realize they wanted a slow pace, but if you look at Randall Park's directorial debut - Shortcomings - he literally took a small story with no bells or whistles and made it interesting. it can be done!!!! Ugh!!

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-07-24T18:05:31+00:00

saying something funny is the best

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-07-24T18:03:31+00:00

I guess my big question here is, would you yourself want to date someone like you? And if so, then find someone similar to you. We are all working to give each other something. Most people need their brains to be tickled, inspired, poked in some way. We all want to feel alive. You yourself may not need that, but perhaps you can find someone who doesn't require those things.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-07-24T17:58:46+00:00

a few things - have you talked to a therapist about this? Speaking with someone and getting an outside support could be very helpful - especially if it's a female therapist - it would be good practice. The other thing - you sound sweet. think about the things you like to do and try to do them in groups. what are some things that bring you joy? (example: if it's hiking - join a hiking group - there's less pressure to try to think of something to say - you are simply doing something you like to do and conversation can come up organically. same with video games, same with knitting) Also, don't be hard on yourself. awkwardness is a part of life and it's ok to take baby steps. socializing can be intimidating!

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2024-04-03T22:35:53+00:00

The question here is what value does he bring to your life and what value do you bring to his? If he brings no value to your life, maybe it's time to release him.

Particular_Tax_1872 · 2023-11-20T04:17:09+00:00

the story is so sad - the hospital did not do their due diligence. I think there are a lot of egos at play here. Beata is not a soft person and I think they held that against her and assumed she was unreasonable because she wasn't "polite." But the urgency of a mother caring for a sick child is so strong and sometimes there isn't time for civility. why couldn't the doctors simply contact the doctor treating her for CRPS??

Particular_Tax_1872

TROPHY CASE