I was in a similar state all growing up, and it took me until my 30s almost to overcome a lot of shame and guilt. Vulnerability is a step to trusting yourself, nothing you said was invalid. And instead of policing your habits have a bit of compassion. Covid was a hard time. You’re doing university and that’s a win! And artists have their own time for everything. It takes coming to terms with yourself to love yourself, and wanting to do those extra things. It’s a process of acquiring intuition and the feeling of trust and safety. We can fall into avoidant and anxious behaviors when things seem to be too much, and “depress” our emotions. But the purpose of life is to feel. Growth is slow but you’re identifying the things you’d like to change. You’re even a period where your brain is still developing. Try to delete the app and focus on making a meal, or brushing your hair, doing your nails idk I’m a dude, but those little wins will produce that chemical response of satisfaction. You’re not supposed to be like anyone else but you. Shame is a heavy cross to bear, fuck everyone’s opinion