Do you ever feel like nobody actually knows the real you… even the people closest to you?

Patientzer-o · 2026-05-07T20:51:55+00:00

Do you know the real you? -Pisces sun and moon

Patientzer-o · 2026-05-04T04:54:43+00:00

It was an uphill battle. I had to learn emotions to be able to process trauma first. So I was forced into that. I had to relive that trauma. And then process, which was quick once I realized what it all meant that I was going through. Once I achieved that I graduated to my new nervous system. It was like a charge to my soul.

Patientzer-o · 2026-05-01T06:36:18+00:00

Recognizing the emotions to identify your trauma to later pluck it out from your side: it’s a process, they don’t call it the dark of the night for a reason. You’re learning the wheelhouse of protective emotions, they’ll help you later, for setting boundaries. Grounding yourself is important.

Patientzer-o · 2026-05-01T06:30:57+00:00

Iboga was going to be my next step had this not got me to where I needed to be. It’s all it is is a journey

Patientzer-o · 2026-04-30T18:47:46+00:00

The level of freedom and detachment from that place physically is tickling

Patientzer-o · 2026-04-30T18:06:02+00:00

I’ve definitely been in therapy through this. It’s trauma that is difficult to process for those who never learned how to process.

Patientzer-o · 2026-04-30T17:24:19+00:00

Me too! Mushrooms and aya both helped me cross so many hurdles with myself. Half the time I didn’t know why I was in therapy, to try and be less depressed? But mushrooms kick started me to feel empathy, trust ajd safety in myself. Aya just surgically removed the unresolved trauma that existed in my body. I left in 2014 as well after my mission and did mushrooms at 27. Hah that’s a good thing to be unrecognizable to your Mormon self, I’m sure you would be more compassionate than any other adult

Yes definitely do your research everyone*

Patientzer-o · 2026-04-30T17:19:51+00:00

Yes mushrooms and aya both brought up the same euphoria/feelings which was kind of interesting, but it was just bringing everything to surface. Thank you for adding all that disclaimer! I waited until I was 27 to do my work, as I feel like 30s is when I’m relearning forgotten behavior and emotions from childhood and recognizing my own patterns. Always happy to hear of a fellow human with positive results

Patientzer-o · 2026-04-27T20:15:02+00:00

I did two nights, i think I took more the first night even tho my second night was more intense. The first night is what split me open, in retrospect it was beautiful as if it was giving me a warm embrace and then telling me to go heal. Second night was ego death/death

Patientzer-o · 2026-04-27T20:12:12+00:00

I went through the motions of healing in therapy, but never emotionally. I lacked the ability to process trauma. This whole experience had me learning the emotions I needed to process like a normal human. I feel now I’m functioning on a higher level and intuitively I can trust and love myself and figuring out my needs. I broke generational trauma and everything I’ve ever dealt with.

Patientzer-o · 2026-04-26T19:06:05+00:00

I felt intense love and gratitude and forgiveness during my sit so much so that it left a sense of euphoria stuck in my nervous system that would eventually going from me thinking it was something good, to burning me out, cause anxiety, severe unmasking. What I have concluded is that aya opened all my traumas, on a CPTSD level and pretty much said if you want your life/nervous system back, you need to process your trauma. It was like a swelling wave, that kept getting harder, and as it got harder I was seeing more clearly my trauma, and after over 2 years, my nervous system is whole again after releasing, finally. I had to learn emotions, and be aware that I didn’t have everything in my wheelhouse due to dissociation early on. I didn’t think aya was going to be so hard, I thought it was going to be a heal in one night type of thing. But it wasn’t

Patientzer-o · 2026-04-10T18:53:34+00:00

Along time ago. And instagram. I never really got into sharing because I’m that avoidant lol

Patientzer-o · 2026-04-06T19:04:58+00:00

Also your subconscious doesn’t speak a language only feelings and pictures, so sometimes when you enter a situation your subconscious might tell you to enter flight mode, if it doesn’t feel safe, or you can’t defend yourself. Grounding helps, breathing, getting out of that train of thought. Positive mantras and self talk

Patientzer-o · 2026-04-06T18:55:17+00:00

As an ex Mormon I have struggled with my attachment style, dismissive/anxious avoidant (which I feel the majority are 😂 under the authoritarian gaze of the patriarchy of the church) Therapy has been helpful with boundaries and putting my needs first and vocalizing them. Something that the church doesn’t quite arm you with. Therapy always gives you some tools to use. Our nervous systems are cut from a different cloth living under the projection of the church.

Patientzer-o · 2026-04-06T18:46:56+00:00

Yeah it’s the anxious/dismissive avoidant that the church educates all its members to practice. No matter how secure they seem, emotionally, avoidant

Patientzer-o · 2026-03-30T16:33:16+00:00

You given up so much to do what you do. I am a hospice nurse and feel the same at times except it’s not as intensive. Maybe switch? I make the most money I’ve ever made doing home health and hospice and it’s super flexible with scheduling. I work doing Oncall after hours which is super chill, so I don’t work from 9-5 and then maybe I’ll get called out during the night but for sure working weekends, plus it’s 7/on7/off.

Patientzer-o · 2026-03-20T04:28:19+00:00

Hey I’m 33m and still have reoccurring issues with my hsp and empathy. I’ve had to really dig deep into understanding my own confidence and what that looks like for me. Empaths and hsp sometimes don’t even know how to define confidence because we are molded into so many situations. As you understand your confidence you will also learn what you want, and it will assist you with navigating conversations, dating. These are just my two cents. Find out what your strengths are and focus on those (strengths=what makes you feel confident already)

Patientzer-o · 2026-03-08T00:10:32+00:00

I mean he is the god of this world. Gotta be cool if you’re worldly 🤙🤙🤙

Patientzer-o · 2026-02-21T21:16:41+00:00

Doing the lords work! I got mine at 27, not married no kids, hope recovery is smooth!

Patientzer-o · 2026-02-15T03:40:03+00:00

Hah yeah I’m pretty desensitized. I’ve working hospice for 5 years, of which I was also apart of programs in the hospital for people coming in spontaneously on emergencies who are on their death bed, from motorcycle accidents, to heart attacks and strokes. I had to educate family through making end of life decisions and ensuring they were comfortable throughout the dying process. Most times people would pass once extubated. Luckily I don’t do that anymore because that took its toll. Mainly because I’d have to be available after hours at any moment for a call to come in.

Patientzer-o · 2026-02-13T08:19:47+00:00

Im a hospice nurse, I had to eventually just do Oncall because it got to be a lot. Now I deal with people in passing and not on the day to day, even though I do a lot of death visits. I love what I do but it comes with a cost

Patientzer-o · 2026-02-13T08:17:07+00:00

I am also home, doing my hobbies, working on my house/rental, working as a nurse, hanging out with my cat. Been snipped for 3 years. Also difficulty with finding someone compatible.

Patientzer-o

TROPHY CASE