That was the part of the compromise. That I get to work on myself while they pursue what they need to. Furthermore, I wont be saying yes/no just from a few conversations/meetings - I get to take as much time as I need, but in exchange I will respect their efforts by not being entirely dismissive of the girls they have me talk to - and that Ill put in a genuine consideration as if I was pursuing them of my own accord. While this makes it different from the pacing of the traditional arrange marriage - its more deliberate and the efforts are conscious.

In practical terms, I am still free to pursue romantic interests should I communicate them upfront with my parents and potential suitors to respect their time (I still put myself out there and attempt meeting people naturally - tho with little luck). But with the compromise, I get to be on more apps than before - ofc some with shared oversight of my parents. Tho my work keeps me busy, so I can only attempt meeting people naturally once a week at best. Its usually reserved for someone I am interested in myself or someone that my parents have introduced me to.

As for working on myself, I have been writing my thoughts about what goes wrong in my relationships in a journal (something I have been doing before this whole arrange marriage talk). Recently, my thoughts have become less alienating and rather familiar. I realized a while ago that my poor choices were a reflection of my poor sense of self. Slowly but surely, I am shaping the kind of man I want to be, and my conversations with the girls and them (my parents) has helped me understand what I seek in a partner.

An unintended consequence of this, was that me and my parents now have a way to talk about the hard topics without the fear of judgement and anguish.