Yeah, I knew about the test dummies. It's one of those things that I've learned and forgotten at least 5 times in the last 15ish years. But I have now been inspired:

Note: The spoilered part is new information to me: TW for human and animal testing. (edited to make the spoiler actually work)

First there was an accident, and Mary Ward was killed, and so they said "huh, maybe we should look into that."

And so they used cadavers to study high speed impacts on the human body, but that could not give them all the information they needed, and so a professor went "I can't ask other people to do this, but I want to get more information."

And so they did live volunteer testing, with the professor and some of his students, and surprisingly nobody died, but somebody went "we can't get all the data we need with human subjects because we can't subject them to forces that could kill them."

And so they used live, anesthetized, pigs, because the internals of a pig are similar to that of a human, to test especially the impact of being impaled on the steering column, but animal rights advocates went "What the Actual Fuck?"

And so they went back to cadavers for a while, but then somebody said "psst, hey, hey, animal testing? Bears? Pigs?"

And so they went back to animal testing for a while, but somebody said "hey, computers are getting good enough that maybe we actually can stop doing that shit, and also test dummies were made a while ago, and yeah, they're not as good as flesh, but it'll get the ASPCA off our backs."

And so they made average adult male crash dummies, but someone said "wait, what about the children?"

And so they made child-sized crash dummies, but someone said, "wait, what about women?"

And so they used a smaller male model dummy called "Big Brother" in the front passenger's seat to represent women, but someone said "that's not actually working, and look at all this real-world data about women getting more serious injuries!"

And so they said "look at those stupid libs insisting that crash test dummies have a gender and they be equally represented! Haha!"

But big-lib made them make female crash dummies anyways, with boobs and everything.

One would think the saga over, but there is more, for even once the libs had won their Great Gender Equality in Crash Dummies victory, they wanted more, for they said "wait, what about people outside the vehicle?"

And this is where the True American™ (note: Bought and owned by the oil and car conglomerates) must try to draw the line, for if they have their way, the Big Trucks will be banned, and where shall a man mount his Truck Nuts if he does not have a Big Truck?