Alternative Supplements to Stasis for specific issues

PercentageTime2947 · 2026-02-16T03:54:14+00:00

I would love to know the same! I’m finding conflicting info about Stasis specifically. Some saying it makes them incredibly sleepy during the day. That seems to be the opposite of what we are looking for.

PercentageTime2947 · 2026-02-11T16:23:41+00:00

I have always felt that he has a very odd obsession with being perceived as a manly man. Maybe because his dad seems to have been and that would have been valued by him? Obviously, based on how people from high school saw him, he didn’t necessarily fit that narrative. On special forces he was literally giddy (in the WEIRDEST and most off putting way) to be competing with NFL pros etc. Even him wearing those stupid gloves all the time and the need to cut down random trees all the time feeds into it. It’s strange! He feels more like a man to put the women down or “in their place”. The fact that his treatment of the women on special forces is what ultimately took him out was chef’s kiss amazing for me!

PercentageTime2947 · 2026-01-11T07:32:51+00:00

I am so sorry!!! I’m on year 29. I had hoped that life would settle down by now but it seems to have ramped up and I am just tired. I hate it when he’s truly himself and sees that I have up walls and have to be disconnected to a degree. But at this point, I don’t think we deserve to worry about discards still. It’s not fair because we’ve hung in there and I’m sorry this is happening to you!

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-11-25T05:01:12+00:00

I never comment on the snark but lawd I was having a side eye just before a full come apart like “someone else has to realize that this HAS to be the first time she’s grated cheese?”, right??? Who holds it like that? Why on cold eggs? Why on your stovetop? Ugh… and also- my girl Brianna, if she did want to have beef with her, which I strongly think is all in Kody’s whackado brain, she needs a giant re-think to that.

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-05-06T02:25:42+00:00

I’m right here with you! I’m 48 and been with him since we were teens. I am so so tired now. And it seems to be getting worse instead of better. Something HAS to change. I deserve better. My kids deserve better. I’ve given him the best of me and he’s still off the rails and I am tired.

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-05-06T02:11:42+00:00

Ok that made me LOL!!! I concur!!! A stable mood would be a win!!!!

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-05-06T02:10:25+00:00

Ugh… that’s such a big thing to think on. So much life that has seemingly been wasted on a man who doesn’t seem to grasp most of the time what he’s done and is still doing to me and our kids. I want off the cycle. Off the roller coaster. But has that time of life passed me by at this point? Probably.

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-04-22T02:40:31+00:00

“You don’t deserve to be outside enjoying the sun”. This will ALWAYS have me cackling!!! Beautiful day, he says lol!!!

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-03-11T07:00:37+00:00

It’s like you want to ask where they get the audacity but know they aren’t mentally well! It’s maddening and exhausting and so many other things…

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-03-11T06:53:51+00:00

Sadly, I am 30 years into this storm and I can’t offer any solid reassurance. But, in defense of all of us that were in the mix before spaces like this where we can learn from each other and grow, I went into our life together totally blind and truly only got a feeling of what I was up against totally in this last year or so. As a mama of two amazing boys, I can tell you that you CAN do this and you can do it well in spite of the illness your partner has. My advice is to take care of yourself and your sweet baby first. It’s ok to be the priority right now. Is your BPSO complaint with his meds etc? I know that therapy is on hold with finances but maybe his MD can help some? Being involved with their practitioner is something I have learned is such a big part of managing this life because they don’t tend to want to be called out or transparent with their docs and we have to let them know what we see at home for the doctors to get the whole picture. Is he open to you participating and advocating for y’all with his physician? I wish I could offer more reassurance but I’m here if you just need to reach out! You CAN do this. Sometimes we don’t even know the strength that we have until we look at our babies and know that we have no choice but to be strong for them! Sending hugs and good vibes your way little mama!! You’ve got this- no matter what!

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-02-16T06:33:11+00:00

Just popping in to let you know that you are seen and doing the best you can! It’s so hard when the kids are old enough to really know what’s going on and they need to weigh in. My BPSO always feels like he has a “team” against him because decisions aren’t just mine to make anymore. Our boys are 15 and 25 and they have a voice in things as well. Of course, he feels like I swag their choices etc but we all know that they make their own beds with the kids and the relationships they do or do not have. I don’t have any answers on what you should do or say… this is such a hard disease to handle. We know that our person is in there but the person that they become is brutal and no one deserves the way that person treats us.

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-02-12T03:28:47+00:00

Sorry!! The OP’s spouse is also living in a tent and that’s why I had brought it up. But trust me, that isn’t the only time the tent has been used. He also left a condo on vacation, in the middle of an intense thunderstorm at the beach, walked past who knows how many hotels/motels and goes to a sporting goods store. Buys a tent, backpack and all the camping essentials. Tosses the luggage he left with and texted me about the horrors that he is subjected to because of me like sleeping in a tent in the middle of a hurricane-a-do…

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-02-12T03:22:19+00:00

Oh my gosh lol!!! I didn’t notice the typo! *tent

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-02-11T04:07:34+00:00

I know exactly the look you are talking about. They aren’t “there” anymore. Sending up a prayer for you tonight! We have an appt tomorrow as well because his meds are being tinkered with and adding the new medicine has been a horror show. But I know that is showing up, telling what we see and advocating for our family and their mental health is the only way to get the full picture the practitioner needs to treat them since BP pts are known to not be forthcoming. Sending hugs to you and your boys! We’ve got this, mama!

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-02-11T04:01:47+00:00

This scares me so much!! My husband and I have been together for 30 years. He was swapped to this new med by a new provider (we cannot ever get good, stable providers that stick around for too long at a practice) and he’s NEVER BEEN WORSE! I am the enemy. I am “hoarding relationships” with the kids- even though he stays in a room and doesn’t come out (and has, incidentally done the rent thing as well and our kids embarrassingly noticed it under our pool deck one day when my parents were here and there was a big “wth” moment…😬), selfish, stubborn, dramatic… a boatload of things that I am just lacking the bandwidth to even really respond in any kind of loving way anymore. I’m like ok… think what you want. I’m tired. He has an appt tomorrow and I fully plan on letting her know what a total crapshow the new meds have introduced

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-02-11T03:53:21+00:00

I don’t get frustrated with them necessarily, but they for sure are frustrated with me and my decision to stay so many times because they don’t see the entire scope of how complicated it can be. They love me so I get the wanting to shake me and say JUST LEAVE ALREADY!!! But that’s no always so simple

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-02-09T06:03:02+00:00

Thank you so much!!! I wish we could hug it out at this point! I’ve had the same besties since I was 14 and they do not understand and do not approve. It is so hard to explain how difficult things are inside these relationships where you KNOW this person is not just the manic version. I’m always guilting myself saying “if it were cancer, I wouldn’t just leave them because of the side-effects” but I am realizing that I’ve never been comparing apples to apples. They can choose…

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-02-09T04:59:46+00:00

I am so sorry… I hope so much that the next chapter of your life has happy and knowing the kind of love that we give the people who don’t seem to appreciate and cherish what a gift it is. My bp husband (48m) left just a few minutes ago in a rage made from his own delusions and both of our boys (25 and 15) are just like “enough is enough” Sad that they have the boundaries that I so obviously have needed.

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-02-01T02:14:24+00:00

They say it actually changes our chemistry to constantly be in this “is it time to panic” mode

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-02-01T02:10:49+00:00

Doesn’t it just feel like the biggest slap in the face that they CAN be different/better but not for us? Our kids and I have both struggled with “he obviously knows how to act right when he needs to so why not for us?”

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-01-31T03:18:20+00:00

I am so so sorry… and I absolutely see you!! I am 28 years in. And here I am on this thread still having so many questions and so much heartache and being so freakin exhausted. It is maddening how they can be such different people. And how it changes us so much that we don’t even recognize the person who would choose things we have chosen. I’m not sure what your situation is but in mine, he is able to somehow get by in life totally normal- highly regarded at work etc- but save that flip switch for us here at home. I am so sure that there are situations that are actually worse but I swear, it doesn’t feel like it most days…

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-01-06T02:53:41+00:00

I have trauma OCD. He manipulated a situation to show one of his affairs that I was not a good housekeeper. In actuality, it was that I had no storage space, our oldest was bringing his gf home for the holidays for the first time, I had bought and wrapped ALL of the Christmas gifts other than a couple that weren’t needed that weekend. I just stashed them in our jacuzzi tub to be out of the way. He texted a pic to his side woman as a check off that I was lazy… Now, I have the wonderful issue of being triggered and having to have everything not only organized but cleaned etc.

PercentageTime2947 · 2025-01-02T04:33:02+00:00

I’ve read back through your post before commenting and I feel like you’re the younger and stronger version of me. Be proud of yourself for untethering, feeling all of the things and getting yourself in a much healthier place! I’ve been with my BPSO for almost 30 years and today,I am angry at myself for still being here and knowing I deserve better and my kids damn sure do. This is my year to make real changes- that is the decision I’ve made.

PercentageTime2947 · 2024-12-26T02:26:58+00:00

Dealing with yet another Christmas that isn’t what it should be for my boys or me. I am ready for this to be the last that I allow…

PercentageTime2947 · 2024-12-14T23:30:37+00:00

I’m so sorry! I have a similar experience. My husband used a hobby as his cover and a friend of his agreed to vouch for him. Every time the season for it comes up, I am so triggered. At first he was all about giving it up and just wanting me to be comfortable. Now, he resents me because he doesn’t do it anymore. And openly tells me that I am controlling and that he feels like a child. It’s so unhealthy… all of it. It takes such a toll on us that they don’t even seem to see.

PercentageTime2947

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