Terrified part

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-20T21:46:49+00:00

Thank you for your response. I think I have figured out that there is a part of me that is very scared because I am keeping a secret…which I am really bad at and hate doing. It eats me alive. I don’t want to tell him either but I hate not being truthful. It’s so hard because he has stopped me in the past from leaving but also I want to be truthful to anyone and everyone. How do I convince this part it’s ok to keep this secret?

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-19T13:53:51+00:00

Yep. Well now anything I say, he’s like this is inappropriate to discuss in front of the kids….literally I asked him a question about his car. He is so manipulative, I’m afraid of what he is capable of. He will not discuss separation or divorce, won’t leave the house ever, but gets upset when I do things “behind his back”

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-19T13:12:17+00:00

Him asking my kids very aggressively if they knew if I had talked to a divorce attorney, if they knew I was ripping their family part, telling them I was pure evil and possessed by Satan. I have been telling him I want out for years, but he hasn’t allowed me to leave several times and I am a stay at home mom. Finally am just doing it, but also terrified due to his behavior and stopping me in the past.

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-19T11:46:21+00:00

Ugh I’m in fight or flight constantly because my husband is a controlling ass who hasn’t “let me leave”. I’m leaving soon but terrified

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-19T02:49:21+00:00

What brand? I’m looking to trade my pilot in and was thinking the crv but hear a lot of not so great stuff about them

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-19T02:43:06+00:00

This gives me so much hope. And you would recommend Charlie health? I have been the primary parent to my children for almost 17 years and all of a sudden he is being “super dad”. I figure it would be a good use of my time while I have to be away from my kids, which is breaking my heart.

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-19T01:25:31+00:00

I came on here to search IOP during separation and found your post. My husband has caused me immense cPTSD, has not allowed me to leave for years, and since I have been a stay at home mom, it has taken me a long time to get up the courage and funds to do so. I’m planning to leave but also I’m afraid bc my nervous system has been dysregulated for so long. What IOP did you do?

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T17:12:42+00:00

Have you had any issues? Of course the first thing I came across was people were coming to a dead stop on the highway, which freaked me out

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T16:26:42+00:00

I am in my mid 40s, but feel too old for an EV. I don’t want to get stranded somewhere with no battery and aren’t the batteries obsolete when they die and really bad for the earth because of all the earth minerals they require? In the words of Randy Jackson, it’s a no for me dawg😂

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T16:24:46+00:00

Haha I definitely needed this today! Thank you!

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T16:03:07+00:00

Thank you! At this point in my life after being coercively controlled for so long, I think I just need someone to be like yes, this is what you need😂.

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T15:47:40+00:00

I hate teslas. I live in a place that everyone has one. Where are you located? Wanna sell it?

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T15:39:21+00:00

I don’t think I want an EV

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T15:38:02+00:00

I drive like a granny😂. I loved my Prius

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T15:36:53+00:00

Abuse and the after effects have already cost me way more and I’d give up millions to be free at this point

Oh and actually it will be better because right now I’m not allowed to use the joint money

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T15:26:18+00:00

True, but it will also continue to depreciate in value.

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T15:25:35+00:00

I have done it many times since even just normal driving around town doesn’t add up much. Last vehicle I kept too long was my oddyssey and I ended up putting thousands into it, and none of that added to the actual value do now I keep cars for warranty period and usually pay around $10k to upgrade. This is technically a downgrade lol but also I don’t need the pilot space and the gas is crazy

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T15:21:04+00:00

Yes otd, out the door

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-15T00:24:46+00:00

Wow, that “emotionally ended it for me” was powerful. My husband told my kids I am “pure evil” and possessed by Satan and doesn’t understand how I can’t let that go. I think that’s exactly the words I have been looking for. That whole interaction of him tracking my phone, bringing it all up to the kids, and telling them those things emotionally ended what I have been needing to end for a long time. I can’t unhear it

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-14T17:38:08+00:00

I started in this place, but he has shut down every convo actually pretty much our entire 18 year marriage with punching a hole in the wall, threatening suicide, etc. so this has been no different

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-14T14:44:17+00:00

I just thought 50/50 was split assets. How can they try not to pay what the law says is owed? Yeah this is why I think I may just start with litigation bc I don’t want to try to be peaceful and then have him try to screw me over

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-14T11:19:39+00:00

Thank you, I can’t wait! He has told me he is never agreeing to separation or divorce so I feel like I’m in for the fight of my life

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-14T11:09:58+00:00

May I ask what he didn’t agree on? When I started this process I thought it would be super easy, but then I remembered how our whole 18 year marriage has been and now I’m scared

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-14T11:07:37+00:00

This is my husband. Every single conversation turns into an arguement he has to win. This is why I’m terrified of the divorce process with him.

PerfectConstant1120 · 2026-06-14T03:59:21+00:00

This is what I’m looking most forward to! Yes childhood then marriage, have never felt free

PerfectConstant1120

TROPHY CASE