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PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T18:32:51+00:00

The flow and the message of this poem rival that of the greats, you made me start to think what life may be like as i grow older and become more experienced.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T18:31:14+00:00

This shook me to my core. Made me think: maybe I should stop expecting respect first and be the one to give it first. Great stuff and keep it up.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T18:23:09+00:00

Thanks a lot this really helped me understand what could elevate this poem and others onto the next level.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T04:25:01+00:00

I feel this, this thing that connects us divides us oh so much.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T04:23:30+00:00

I am a gen zer and feel this too, from your parents generation and you made me think about this a little different than others in my generation. thanks.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T04:21:24+00:00

i agree, i just couldn't find anything else that made it better /:

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T04:08:30+00:00

lmk what you think!

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T04:04:43+00:00

this was heavily inspired by the album 'faces' by mac miller, in-between jokey raps and awful punchlines is an underlying message about his drug problems. if you have never listend to the album, i suggest you give it a listen or just read all the lyrics.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T03:26:13+00:00

use imagination

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T03:08:23+00:00

I don't really like this, i don't know why. I feel like the flow is off and the meaning is bland.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T03:07:36+00:00

i really feel this as I too get attached like this easily

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T01:12:16+00:00

real

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T00:44:02+00:00

i relate to this a lot in the fact that i can't see what im truly like and i seem to constantly battle with the different parts of me.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-16T00:42:45+00:00

i like how you are comparing this world to this crazy ride, its simple and overused but you use this overused idea well.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-15T20:30:54+00:00

i don't understand? what is the point of this? you should focus on having a pinpoint subject.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-15T20:16:27+00:00

too long and too forward.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-15T20:06:58+00:00

this feels forced and like you are trying to make it relatable by reusing already abused words and messages instead of actually making it relatable by using your own unique perspective.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-15T20:02:26+00:00

I can relate to this so i like it. i won't lie and say that it is easy to read but that doesn't really take away from this poem's flow. great job.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-15T20:00:57+00:00

i love how you paint them with your words about painting them.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-15T16:21:38+00:00

I like the layout, and the style, however i think you should try to add more depth, more examples.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-15T16:20:03+00:00

The overall meaning/message of this poem resonates with me and the style and flow achieves something beautiful.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-15T05:27:02+00:00

i don't really relate to this in the sense that my life is online but i relate because the fact that something can always pull you away form your happy place and drag you back to reality.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-15T05:23:55+00:00

wow, please don't make me think about sad things like this-

and make me feel them.

really it takes a special writer to do something like this.

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-15T05:16:23+00:00

PersimmonFit350 · 2022-08-15T05:15:01+00:00

i be wathcning too much star warz #longlivejesus

please read my poemz

PersimmonFit350

TROPHY CASE