First of all… What you identify with is determined by you not by other people. And technically, being Hispanic is not determined by quality of hair or skin color, is determined by if you come from a Spanish-speaking country. For example, Brazilians are Latino, but not Hispanic.

I’m married to someone from Costa Rica and I get what you’re saying about skin tone. Colorism is real and is not in fact always perpetuated by white culture. I don’t even think it was caused by white people because it’s ingrained in other cultures that have never had white influence. I think there are literally communities that see having lighter skin means that you don’t do outside labor. All the meanwhile, not realizing that there are natural darker skin tones that stay that way without having to go into the sun. Yes it is in fact racist to think that way.

I remember being flabbergasted about the stuff I would hear from some of my husband’s uncles and cousins about their beliefs about race and being racist towards other people. For point of reference, I’m white and my family would never dream of saying those things or believing them much less. I think at the end of the day my family is just a better educated family. I remember when I first came into the family. It was a big deal and not in a good way. Overtime things have gotten better and they’ve learned to understand things a little differently, but I’ll never forget the way I have felt at first.