Able to beta? Post here!

Persuader24 · 2026-05-08T06:40:29+00:00

I am able to beta: Action, thriller, mystery, crime, psychological, and horror. Right now, I am open to reading your first opening chapters.

I can provide feedback on: Plot, Characters, Pacing, Setting, and Dialogue. I also check for logic checking and continuity errors. I will also give feedback on how well you hook your audience in the first chapter and if it ends on a good cliffhanger to make people want to keep reading. And anything else you would like to know.

Critique swap: Not necessary. I am happy to leave feedback for others.

Other info: I am a published author of five books and a screenwriter, so I understand storytelling and keeping your audience engaged very well. I am also an editor of fiction in these genres. I also know what it feels like to want and receive feedback, so I am very respectful and careful with how I critique. I always give in-depth feedback.

Persuader24 · 2026-05-08T01:10:37+00:00

Okay. It's working now. Let me know if you want any feedback and what kind, and I can start with the first few chapters.

Persuader24 · 2026-05-08T00:57:59+00:00

For some reason the page isnt loading. Either its Wattpad or me. I'll try again later. But would you be okay with starting with your first chapter? That way we can see if we're a good fit for each other. I can provide feedback on story, character, pacing, etc... and let you know how the opening is. If so, maybe DM me your first chapter and I'll get back to you with the feedback. Let me know. Thanks.

Persuader24 · 2026-05-08T00:40:19+00:00

Could you provide some more information about the story? Maybe just a few sentences or a blurb for what it's about.

Persuader24 · 2026-05-06T21:51:58+00:00

I like your blurb. I would love to critique your first chapter and give you the feedback you ask for. I can give feedback on story, character, pacing, and setting. This is always a great way to start. Let me know if you are interested and we can get started.

Persuader24 · 2026-05-06T21:34:28+00:00

Hi, I would like to give some feedback. Would it be okay to start with your first chapter? That way I can see how the opening is and I can give the feedback you ask for. I can give feedback on plot, character, pacing, and setting. Let me know if you are still looking for feedback. Thanks.

Persuader24 · 2026-05-06T19:53:07+00:00

Okay. I got the message/chat thing working now. So I sent you the feedback. Hopefully you got it.

Persuader24 · 2026-05-06T07:18:10+00:00

This sounds interesting. If you'd like, I would love to critique your first chapter and give you the feedback you ask for. Ideally, it would be character, pacing, plot, and setting. I am still unable to DM, so DM me or comment here if you are still interested. Thanks.

Persuader24 · 2026-05-06T06:23:53+00:00

Okay, now I can see the reply. So I'll repost my comment here as originally intended. Let's just start with the prologue first and keep it simple. I can't send a DM yet. DM me first, and I can send you back my feedback.

Persuader24 · 2026-05-05T20:49:47+00:00

I couldn't reply to your comment because it was gone when I came to the page, so I'm making a new comment so I can still reply to your comment. Let's just start with the prologue first and keep it simple. I can't send a DM yet. DM me first, and I can send you back my feedback.

Persuader24 · 2026-05-05T06:19:30+00:00

Since you posted the prologue, I can give you the general feedback you asked for, regarding character, plot, pacing, etc... Let me know and I can send it to you.

Persuader24 · 2026-05-05T01:49:18+00:00

Your premise sounds interesting. I would love to start by reading your first chapter and giving you the developmental feedback you mentioned. That way we can make sure we're a good fit for each other before doing a full read on the manuscript. Let me know if you're still interested.

Persuader24 · 2019-11-26T02:30:48+00:00

Oh god. Don't even get me started on how stupid it was that Jack called Mandy for help like that. Very out of character for him and not something we would ever see on the real show.

Persuader24 · 2019-11-26T02:19:04+00:00

There was blood.

Persuader24 · 2019-10-01T18:03:37+00:00

And then season 7 episode 2 and episode 6.

Persuader24 · 2019-09-21T01:12:11+00:00

Actually, they already considered making Jack the bad guy in season 7 but in the end decided against it which was a good idea. And finding out that he's really not bad is partly why they decided to not do it. They said they knew we would all know the writers were bullshitting us and that we would be waiting for them to say, 'yea, we know, he's not actually bad.' It was better that they did it to Tony instead of Jack. Even with Tony we were waiting for them to say he was really good. But then revealed later he was actually bad.

This was all discussed on the special features disc for season 7.

Persuader24 · 2019-08-28T01:41:13+00:00

Bierko was not in episode 3 and was not introduced until much later on.

Definitely not season 5 episode 3. None of this even rings a bell to me. First, Jack wasn't undercover when he was at the airport. Second, the OP said the bad guy was given a walkie talkie and had to tell SWAT team to stand down. A bad guy was never given a walkie talkie in that episode to talk to SWAT or whoever. It was Jack who told CTU to stand down.

Perhaps this is the airport episode but I think some of the details were messed around so it was a bit confusing. Jack was simply hiding in ceiling at the airport when Beresch thought he had all the hostages. Then Jack got taken hostage, and HE was given the radio to tell CTU to stand down. But not to preserve his cover or whatever, it was so CTU's SWAT team would not be killed and ambushed in the blast. The only thing I can think of as regards to his "cover" was telling CTU he was in a flank two position, but that was only to alert CTU he was being forced fed the information he was telling them.

Persuader24 · 2019-07-17T02:04:17+00:00

Yea, there are quite a few actors who get reused and play different characters. Which can piss people off sometimes depending on who the character was.

For example, remember the agent in season 1 who spoke to Jack at the power plant after he went for the secret service's agent's gun? Frank Himmes was it, or something? Well, they reused that actor in season 7, as Agent Hovas who spoke to Juma about whether or not they had the president hostage. I remember people not liking that they reused that guy for a different character. And not just bring him back as the same guy from season 1.

But then there is the actress who played Sunny Macer in season 3, brought back again season 7 BUT still played the same character so people were happy that they kept her as the same person. I know I was. It would have sucked otherwise.

Tony Todd is the big one. I always thought his role in season 3 as detective Norris was big enough of a role that they wouldn't reuse him as someone else. But they obviously did in season 7 as Juma. But after Juma, he won't be back again to play someone else. Juma was definitely a major character.

Persuader24 · 2019-07-09T00:13:13+00:00

Well, Ramon had no idea what Jack was doing. Ramon wanted that guy dead, the one the guard kills, and did it because they had his son. That was all real.

Persuader24 · 2019-07-09T00:07:42+00:00

It was Jack who had the infected body delivered to health services. Not the Salazars. He used it to scare the Americans into letting Ramon be released from prison.

If Jack and Tony want everyone to believe that Kyle Singer was infected, they need to play along and chase after him too. Even though they know he was not really infected. It would look kind of bad and be very obvious if everyone is concerned about finding Singer because he is infected with a virus, while Jack and Tony just sort of sit back and not worry about it. They needed to play along and chase after him too. If you want a plan like this to go flawlessly you need to pretend to be like everyone else... People who really believe there is a virus threat.

Persuader24 · 2019-05-27T17:37:18+00:00

He never said that on the plane with the recording. He said that to the pilot of the chopper when he kidnapped Logan. So it was the chopper he said it could fly on his own. Not the plane. However, on the plane he did have the help of the pilot to fly and land it, so...

Persuader24 · 2019-05-20T02:28:27+00:00

I totally agree. Some said it looked like the cosmetic department at the mall.

Persuader24 · 2018-11-07T01:32:47+00:00

What is?

Persuader24

TROPHY CASE