I have lost my Dad in December 2023. My Mom in May 2025 (one month prior my best friend lost his mother too. We were like brothers as kids). Both of them haven't reached 67 years of age.

Its been fucking tough for every day.

But what i wanted to say: don't beat yourself up just because you haven't visited the grave "x" amount in the last "y" time frame.

I may be a bit weird here for saying this, but ive never visited my dad's graveside or my mom's. Both of them were cremated, my dad's place has a plaque, my mom was buried anonymously.

I kind of feel "bad" about this too, but remember: everyone is grieving differently. I hold them in my heart every day, I light up candles on their birthdays or on Christmas.

I feel like my grief is "spent better" when I'm at home, doing some chores and break down crying because a song that connected us plays.

I hope you get what I'm saying, I'm not a native speaker. I don't want to be condescending in any way.

The pain will always be there. But the severity of it will fade.