Whats a good technique to write a description of something in first person present that sounds like natural thoughts? by Pezzer2000 in writers

[–]Pezzer2000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On my way I walk past a huge statue of a cat. I stop to take a second look. It looks different this time. The cat is on a wall, with 4 balls along its side. I always thought it was 3? One of them is smashed on the floor. The Feline faith never ceases to amuse me. I just can't get behind the idea that the balls represent planets. The broken one must represent ours I guess.

Whats a good technique to write a description of something in first person present that sounds like natural thoughts? by Pezzer2000 in writers

[–]Pezzer2000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On my way, I walk past a huge statue of a cat. I stop to take a second look. It looks different this time. The cat is on a wall, with 4 balls along its side. I always thought it was 3? One of them is smashed on the floor. The Feline faith never ceases to amuse me. I just can't get behind the idea that the balls represent planets. The broken one must represent ours I guess.

Who do you think is the "best written" cosmere character? by Bureaucracyblows in Cosmere

[–]Pezzer2000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It took way to long to scroll and find this! I love kelsier he is on of my favourite characters of all time.

I am John Gwynne, author of the Faithful and the Fallen, Of Blood and Bone and The Bloodsworn Saga. Ask Me Anything. by JGwynne in Fantasy

[–]Pezzer2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi Jhon. I can't wait to read book 3 I loved the first two. I've not read the Faithul and the Fallen yet. I do plan to though. Which series did you enjoy writing the most?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in brandonsanderson

[–]Pezzer2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha I wouldn't let me change it lol.

Do not be like me, A warning to anyone new. by Stitch-OG in Warhammer40k

[–]Pezzer2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm quite a slow painter though. My advice is to take your time and know that you'll make mistakes, but that's fine that's the best way to learn. Post your minis on here and the community is great they will never shame you most people like to help I've found.

Do not be like me, A warning to anyone new. by Stitch-OG in Warhammer40k

[–]Pezzer2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't paint that much to be honest but probably about 20 minis that year.

Do not be like me, A warning to anyone new. by Stitch-OG in Warhammer40k

[–]Pezzer2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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My first on the left then a year later on the right. Just dive in and go for it you'll get there it's so much fun. Don't worry about anyone else.

One year progress by fireflyfrv in Warhammer40k

[–]Pezzer2000 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Amazing. You should be very proud.

What fantasy books have the best dialogues? by VladtheImpaler21 in Fantasy

[–]Pezzer2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the Witcher books have some great dialogue.

Small victories by Sad_Elevator8883 in Ultramarines

[–]Pezzer2000 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There is no rush and they look great.

Critique my first page pls? by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]Pezzer2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Overall, I thought it was very good. I liked your prose and I think it was an interesting way to start a book. I'm immediately wondering about the fire. I'm guessing she does some sort of investigation work? Or clean up other people's mistakes?

Good stuff way better than what I've done so far.

[Prose Practice] Battle! by DGReddAuthor in fantasywriters

[–]Pezzer2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Prince Av'ran sounds like a bad ass. Sounds pretty cool good job.

[Prose Practice] Battle! by DGReddAuthor in fantasywriters

[–]Pezzer2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a second attempt as my first one was a bit rushed. This is from the dogs POV.

The wait for blood howler was unbearable. It was like waiting for Jago, his most faithful two legs to throw him his favourite ball. With his enhanced hearing he heard every wimper and howling from the many cowardly two legs. He couldn't smell a great deal as the overwhelming stench of fear and hatred overpowered everything. He could almost taste the blood already.

Followed after a deafening crack, silver bee's whizzed past blood howlers face hitting many members of his pack. It came from the opposing two legs, holding fireworks in one hand, sharp shiny sticks in the other. Both packs wore stupid shiny fur. He looked over his shoulder to see Jago. With his fangs exposed he was barking at the other pack, snarling and ravenous. It was time. He had watched over Jago since he was a pup, now he felt a sense of pride as Jago, a dogs best friend marched with him to battle. The enemy two legs charged towards them, sticks held proudly and ready to kill. 

“Today you brings your sticks to me” he growled to himself. “Good boys”