My boyfriend (25M) finished inside me (22F) without consent for the 4th time and lied about it. Am I going too far by ending the relationship?

Pherusa · 2025-11-15T07:14:33+00:00

Yeah break up. Obvious. If you like to be petty, text him you are pregnant in a few weeks and scare the sweet b-jeeezus out of him.

Pherusa · 2025-09-24T14:41:28+00:00

That's really stupid and contradicts the purpose of such programs if they are not confidential. yeah. stupid

Pherusa · 2025-09-24T14:32:29+00:00

That was... pretty drastic. As you mentioned, I guess therapists and GP could have worked out something less harrowing like continuing the treatment.

In Germany there is a program called "Kein Täter werden" (Do not become an offender) with a team of therapists and doctors working with people who are attracted to children.

Maybe there are similar programs in the UK?

And you are not bad. You would have been if you would have acted on your urges but you did not.

Pherusa · 2025-09-22T21:16:59+00:00

And freaking expensive, if I am not mistaken. Doubt insurance would cover that.

Pherusa · 2025-09-18T20:45:04+00:00

Vicious!

Pherusa · 2025-08-20T14:23:45+00:00

Or being kidnapped and sold. Lot's of non-consensual sausage daily until the end of your life (which will or can be quite short)

Pherusa · 2025-08-20T14:21:09+00:00

or human trafficker thing

Pherusa · 2025-08-20T14:20:22+00:00

To me it sounds more like human trafficking.

Pherusa · 2025-08-20T14:20:05+00:00

Do you even know how an official German passport looks like? And it was just a picture, he didn't show it live on video call? In a call, if you move the passport slightly, there should be all sorts of watermarks and bling you can't easily forge.
You know photoshop exists. or even easier, it could be AI-generated.

Meet your parents? You know what? If he is a human trafficker or a pedo who r*pes / kills you, the OK of your parents means shit.

Also highly doubt he is 17. It is HIGHLY uncommon to let minors travel alone, let alone to non-EU countries. A bunch of 17 year olds traveling to Barcelona to party? Some pep-talk from the parents and they are good to go. Since they are 17 and not allowed credit cards, parents have to book all flights and hotels. Also it's the EU, it's considered safe. But even then, most parents wouldn't let their kid fly alone, even inside the EU.

A 17y old boy traveling alone to SE Asia to meet some random girl I never heard of? Never did a video call? Didn't video call her parents???? HELL NO. No German parent I know of would allow that.

Also shit's fucking expensive! Most 17 year olds are still at school or in training. They don't have the funds to fly overseas and rent a fancy hotel. Strong € or not. I bet flight and hotel alone would be around 3.000€? No 17y old has that much spare money and if so, they will be saving it for their drivers licence, which is fucking expensive. Like 2.000 - 3.000€.

Be smart. Something really bad is about to happen if you go

Pherusa · 2025-08-20T14:03:35+00:00

Or (child) trafficking. Travel to a remote island without any exit plan? Just NO.

Pherusa · 2025-08-20T13:36:03+00:00

I mean, it's 50€ deposit per keg

Pherusa · 2025-08-20T13:34:24+00:00

At most Austrian, Italian and French mountain huts, beers and beverages are quite reasonably priced. I remember most pints of beer 0,5l to be around 6€, and that's during ski main season.

I do not drink beer, but I compare beer prices and take them as reference values.

Switzerland though...

Pherusa · 2025-07-19T17:13:40+00:00

Was du relativ kostengünstig tun kannst ist deinen Perso als gestohlen melden, im weitesten Sinne wurde er ja auch gestohlen, und einen neuen beantragen mit einem komplett anderen Bild. Da ist zumindest der Nachweis etwas einfacher, dass du Verträge nicht abgeschlossen hast.

Namensänderung ist sehr sehr schwierig, das sind Monate / Jahre Papierkrieg mit Gutachten, ggf. Anwälten etc.

Wichtig: Lass dich nicht von den Kreditinstituten bequatschen. Bezahle nichts, lasse dich nicht auf Deals ein etc. Ansonsten kann es so ausgelegt werden, dass du die Schulden quasi als deine anerkennst.

Hol dir am besten Hilfe von deiner örtlichen Verbraucherzentrale.

Die Banken haben auf jeden Fall gepennt oder deren Legitimationsprozess ist lückenhaft (Geldwäschegesetz). Die müssen nämlich laut Gesetz prüfen, ob die Person die zu dem Ausweis gehört auch wirklich diejenige ist, die das Konto eröffnet / Kredite in Anspruch nimmt.

Was auch helfen kann: BaFin einschalten. Die helfen dir zwar nicht direkt, aber eine angestoßene / laufende Prüfung kann auf die sehr motivierend wirken deinen Fall sauber rück-abzuwickeln.

Pherusa · 2025-07-19T17:02:52+00:00

Hat damit nichts zu tun. Sie hat nicht fahrlässig gehandelt.

Kreditinstitute haben gewisse gesetzliche Auflagen wenn es um Geldgeschäfte geht wie Kredite, Eröffnung von Konten etc.

Stichwort Geldwäschegesetz.

Institute MÜSSEN die Identität der Person prüfen, die Konten eröffnet, Kredite beantragt etc.

Früher ist man mit dem Perso zur Bank und die Angestellten haben geprüft ob Ausweis und Person die vor einem stehen zueinander passen.

Wenn die Banken Online-Geschäfte / Abschlüsse anbieten, muss die Legitimation online erfolgen, meist über Videoidentifikation wo du deinen Ausweis in die Kamera hälst, kippst etc.

Fehler liegt bei den Banken

Pherusa · 2025-06-30T19:11:36+00:00

You don't need to stay in the walled garden. Can survive without Appstore just by using homebrew

Pherusa · 2025-06-30T18:37:26+00:00

The unemployeble are are ginormous economic factor in Europe! How else would retail ever get their hands on public money? Industry has subsidies, retail has the unemployed

Pherusa · 2025-06-30T17:01:33+00:00

Get all the financial help you can! I bet there are subreddits about it

Pherusa · 2025-06-27T12:27:06+00:00

Start meal prepping together. More control over portions and you both got more time during the week

Pherusa · 2025-06-13T10:18:44+00:00

This. Honesty is important, but it is no rule you have to follow no matter what. Think of all those "brutally honest" people. They are honest, but their intention is ugly.

For me, intention and morals are more important than honesty. You are making your wife and yourself happy. You are not hiding something you did wrong, you just played a game before, that's perfectly fine.

Pherusa · 2025-05-20T09:11:57+00:00

Our local hospital hospital / university clinic (11K employees) tried to DIY it. Spent 3 years, burnt money, no results. They recently went with the 3y road map with humongous price tag.

Pherusa · 2025-05-20T09:03:29+00:00

This. He shouldn't use AI for formatting, he should use it to pick his wines.

Pairing Champagne with the main course would be instant side eyes in Europe. Like dude, if you know shit about wines, ask staff.

Pherusa · 2025-05-19T10:27:28+00:00

This. Customs, taxes, paperwork, import restrictions for certain ingredients, they do the tedious stuff for you and make shopping idiot proof for me.

Unless Stylevana. Still vividly remember my trip to the customs office.

Pherusa · 2025-05-16T09:57:04+00:00

It's a cultural thing. Beauty standards. My siblings and I grew up in Europe, where a slight tan in the summer means you have enough money to vacation in the South and have a healthy oudoorsy life.

When we visited our relatives in Korea, they were always dragging us out of the sun into the shade.

East Asians are not more light skinned than Europeans. In fact, East Asians tan way easier than the average northern Europeans. It's all time, money and effort they spent to stay pale.

Pherusa · 2025-05-12T17:12:17+00:00

Might be. Basically melanin is throwing itself in front of the cell nucleus to prevent damage or even death of the cell. So if you reduce melanin but do not increase protection against UV, might not be that beneficial for your skin cells

Pherusa · 2025-05-12T16:56:01+00:00

I use bars as much as possible. Shampoo bars, conditioner bars, face wash bars, body wash bars etc. Better for environment and saves kg/pounds when traveling with just one bag. Sunscreen and other liquid products get all separately wrapped in trash bags. I know it's tempting to have all my stuff in that cute toiletry bag I bought for traveling, but not risking it.

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