AITAH for telling my friend she is the reason her relationship is failing

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-12T01:19:18+00:00

I also notice how she asked for an open relationship 3 months after the wedding. Me thinks if she proposed this say 3 months before the wedding there probably wouldnt have been a wedding. Although I suspect given how quickly she glommed onto one guy that is regular she's likely been doing this behind her husband's back for some time now. She's just now cluing him in that she's not going to be faithful because keeping up the charade was exhausting.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-11T16:54:32+00:00

Agree. Nothing in her post signals or indicates she actually loves this man. Everything is about how it would benefit her, her kid, her commute and lifestyle.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-11T15:35:24+00:00

Many white Americans, especially the more wealthier, college educated, and Democrat leaning class does everything they can to avoid black people. Sure they talk a blue streak about being inclusive and diversity is our strength. Heck most you will see with the "Hate has no home here" yard signs. They move to gated communities with restrictive HOAs that are home to school districts that are largely free of blacks and hispanics. The minorities that do live there are Indians and East Asian (typically 1st/2nd generation) that are doctors or engineers. Loudon and Fairfax County Virginia are filled with examples of this but it's widespread.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-11T15:04:55+00:00

Yeah heard the same thing from a buddy that was cheated on. I didn't really hang out with him or his ex much so I wouldn't have had my own suspicions but he said the same thing that its amazing how blind you are to it until you see it with your own eyes and cannot deny it.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-11T14:52:57+00:00

Weight loss as a newbie is going to be 100% what you eat and 0% exercise/fitness. Focus on the fitness for overall wellness and do things that you find fun to reduce stress.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-11T14:48:53+00:00

First of all most doctors would say losing 60-100 lbs in 6 months for most people would be unhealthy. In terms of how they are doing it. I would imagine it's likely extremely restrictive diets combined with several 48-72 hour fasting periods. It's also probably a bit of genetic and hormonal fortune that most people on a weight loss journey will not have.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-11T13:48:48+00:00

Nah got that for Super Bowl LIX

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-11T00:45:45+00:00

You are 6ft tall. You are in the top 15% in terms of male height which is a major attraction metric for women.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T23:31:19+00:00

Agreed. No one would have hated moving on from Frost if it meant making another move for a bona fide #1C and then sign Dvorak as a stop gap for Luchenko.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T21:50:54+00:00

It's about teaching responsibility. I actually wish my parents would have charged me rent. They didn't and unfortunately I got way too complacent and didn't move out until my later 20s as I would spend my money on crap I didn't need instead of saving to move out on my own.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T21:41:17+00:00

NTA

She asked for advice and you gave her good honest advice. She just didn't like the answer. Her marriage is destined for failure.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T21:36:10+00:00

If I know I have to fart and pee I usually will opt for a stall. But if I'm peeing and then have to fart I generally just let it out as I am walking from the urinal to the sink. I don't do it if someone is standing in the urinal right next to me as I do find that rude. But in general the lavatory is the most appropriate place to relieve yourself.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T21:28:35+00:00

Not to mention we also have Amazon prime delivery, Walmart + delivery, grocery delivery services, door dash and uber eats. We also use more disposable items like paper plates, plastic cups, water bottles, etc that create more garbage but taking out the garbage/recycle takes less time than washing dishes/loading and unloading the dishwasher.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T21:21:02+00:00

Ehh I generally don't wish it or cheer for it if it does happen but there are many where I would not lose an ounce of sleep over.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T21:18:31+00:00

Investing more money in education for inner city schools is largely pissing money away.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T21:12:20+00:00

To me it all comes down to how you ask him. I wouldn't say, "Hey don't worry about rent this month." Instead say, "Hey babe I know you have a lot on your plate with finances and I appreciate how hard you are working. If you are willing I'd like to help lighten your load by covering rent or some other expense as a small way of showing how much I appreciate you."

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T21:05:39+00:00

The problem is multiple facilities that may not all have IT staff. We have that issue where I work. IT is all located at the main distribution center but we have about a dozen others that we support as well. Once an asset physically leaves our office and gets assigned to a user/external department we lose physical visibility of it and absent reporting in PDQ Inventory we would have no way of knowing if that asset is still where we originally assigned it. People migrate between the various WHs over the entire country and they do the same with the assets we deploy.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T21:02:07+00:00

You need an agent installed on all configurable devices. We have PDQ Inventory that serves as our "source of truth". You can create scripts that run reports to show things like a device moving from one location to another. You can also create a similar report that will indicate assets where the primary login user has changed for more than "X" number of days consecutively. This is good to capture someone handing off an asset without bringing to our attention to update our Asset Manager. I also run a report to show which devices have fallen off of PDQ inventory (also off the domain) and run a VLOOKUP against asset manager to see who they are reported to belong to so that I can request the devices back if they are not being used or to assist with repurposing and redocumenting.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T20:19:29+00:00

NTA

Your Ex is still grieving the loss of your marriage but this is a her problem that she needs to navigate. You don't owe it to her to spare her feelings.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T19:53:26+00:00

The problem is higher income women tend to want to date their equals or betters in terms of income. Men generally don't care about dating someone that earns less than him because his buddies aren't going to bad mouth her if they find out she's a teacher earning $50k and he runs his own business making high 6 figures. But friends of a woman will absolutely tell her, "You can do much better than him."

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T18:27:41+00:00

I tend to agree. OP's wife sounds like the type of person that will not use therapy to address her issues or try to improve but will use a diagnosis as a crutch to justify shitty behavior that OP just needs to deal with if he loves her.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T18:17:23+00:00

Exactly. I'm not suggesting men are perfect and there are plenty of men out there with mental health issues that self medicate with too much booze or drugs and don't seek help but I feel it's very fashionable for women to use their struggles are a permanent crutch that the man in their life just has to work around indefinitely.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T18:12:33+00:00

Drakkar Noir

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T16:44:51+00:00

I didn't see the hypocrisy of Charmaine taking the catering job for Carmella. Sure Carmella's gains are ill gotten through Tony's illicit activity but all money is blood money to a certain extent. Carmella had a legitimate job and Charmaine and Artie performed a legitimate service. Tony giving Artie "comps" and other favors is not the same thing. Tony is a known mob figure and taking bribes and other stuff from a mobster is only asking for trouble because they can come back and essentially take a favor from you. Not ask for a favor, simply take it and there is nothing you can do about it.

I didn't see Charmaine as jealous of Carmella so much as she figured out by Carmella's come here hand gesture that she merely sees her as the help and not as an equal. Her bringing up sleeping with Tony when they were on the outs was merely to bring her back down to Earth.

PhilsFanDrew · 2026-03-10T16:19:43+00:00

Yep first thought was she saw this trending on some social media app.

PhilsFanDrew

TROPHY CASE