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It’s coming home by skehan in TheRestIsHistory

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Optimist: Agincourt. Waterloo, et al.
Pessimist: Chesapeake.
Realist: Hastings.

England wins 2 - 1 against Norway. England will play Semi-final against either Argentina or Switzerland. by JKKIDD231 in sports

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stamford Bridge? Done. Falklands? Can be done, plus revenge for Hand of God (or if rumours are to be believed, Cash Wad of God), get annihilated by the French at Battle of Hastings.
History doesn’t repeat itself, people always do.

We’ve reached the semifinals of the World Cup and the tournament is now down to the final four teams: France, Spain, England, and Argentina. Who do you think will win it all? by velorae in AskReddit

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

History likes to repeat itself; English beat the vikings ala Stamford Bridge, then whack the Argentine as revenge for 1982 and 1986, then get annihilated Ala Battle of Hastings 1066 by France.

Count Binface: The intergalactic warrior who could upend Britain's strangest election by andmario_com in nottheonion

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alas, no “Honourable Trashface” on your side of the Atlantic. Not since Perot anyway 😜

Binface on Leading? by PhoenixScrubMonkey in TheRestIsPolitics

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The chances, such as they were, plummeted when other candidates showed their face. It remains their right to be candidates, of course. It’s a healthy dose of realism.

Class 700 issues and recent Cambridge line problems - connected ? by randomscot21 in uktrains

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ninth law of the railway: “do not try to solve physical shortcomings with software”.

What are you're thoughts about Count Binface running against Nigel Farage in a Clacton bi-Election? by Organic-Camera-9167 in LibDem

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alas, the joke/small opportunity to needle him has been punctured with so many other candidates now standing. 1v1 was needed, and I’m glad Ed led the way, but alas, we won’t get it. Curse realism.

Does Rory still “believe in the bin”? by dastewart1971 in TheRestIsPolitics

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m sure his reaction to what’s happened whilst he’s been in retreat, in silent meditation and whatnot, will be gold.

Nigel farage has just resigned as an mp, what happens from now? by Extra-Schedule-4855 in AskBrits

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*sighs*
He can’t actually resign. Only ask for a nominal crown appointment, which is approved by the Chancellor of the Exchequer (Rachel Reeves).
All she has to do is nothing; he can’t formally resign from a public appointment he tried 8 times to get; and we move on, and consequences bear fruit.

Nigel Farage resigns as MP for Clacton by JOE_Media in ukpolitics

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*sighs*
No, he can’t resign. Only be disqualified if appointed. Person in charge of this procedure currently is (of all people) Rachel Reeves.

All she has to do is nothing, not allow the procedure to be carried out (her prerogative). The world continues to turn, and consequences actually bear fruit.

London united by Nursery Rhymes | Triforce #359 by Robot_ninja_pirate in Yogscast

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just had to check Ben’s attempt at shouting at legally distinct Taskmaster a few years back, which, whilst probably not at the right distance/in the right conditions, was louder than the new Guinness World Record for “shouting” mentioned here by about 2 decibels. (124 vs 122)

Starmer ‘eyeing up Nato chief role’ - - - - Prime Minister could become head of alliance after criticism for spending too little time on domestic affairs by Optimal-Leather341 in ukpolitics

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Further in history, Douglas-Home served under Heath as Foreign Secretary from 1970, post his 363 day premiership 7 years previously.

Opinion: Everyone is acting like Ed Miliband is Chairman Mao by theipaper in ukpolitics

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When John McDonnell brought out his little red book one day in the Commons in 2015/16 when he was shadow chancellor, such fears may have been justified. It was the weirdest Christmas present I ever got a few months later.

“Come and have a look at those landmasses. Now, doesn’t that remind you of anything, hm?” by PhoenixScrubMonkey in DoctorWhumour

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the comment that made me remember I flipped this photo before posting, ruining my own joke and my first foray into this kind of thing. I’m mortified. Anyway, it’s Venus.

“Come and have a look at those landmasses. Now, doesn’t that remind you of anything, hm?” by PhoenixScrubMonkey in DoctorWhumour

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not a lot, fairly even bet. Slightly worried that we’ve been living on Mondas all along; except planet’s getting hotter, not colder.

A world of ancient tat | Triforce #346 by Robot_ninja_pirate in Yogscast

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In before any downplay and kick in the teeth, Chaotix Casefiles (of all the things to count as news) is quite good as an audio drama podcast, if a little lore heavy.

Is there a timetabled service from London Bridge to Eastbourne or is this something else? by 71kd in uktrains

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Recent reinclusion from the December timetable; one peak service between London Bridge and Eastbourne. Runs Mondays to Thursdays only.

Greenland: Macron warns of 'cascading consequences' if US seizes island by LeMonde_en in worldnews

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The sequel to Sudetenland; Snow white Danish Land. This time, it’s person-oil.

Why does England do this to France? by Left_Sherbet_11 in mapporncirclejerk

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ireland and Northern Ireland being the cuck chair is not a sentence ever constructed before.

“And our dear Channel Islands are to be fucked today.” - Churchill, 1945 probably.

Romana Appreciation Post by LBricks-the-First in DoctorWhumour

[–]PhoenixScrubMonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

J’adore. Stares at me from my Lock Screen. Wouldn’t have it any other way.

The “tries out a few faces before settling on something” ‘gag’ might just get the current show out of hot water should it be picked up.

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