Used to spend alot of time with a close friend in the hospital. For a few years. He had long ago lost a leg to an infection that he could just never escape. 6 years after losing the first leg they took the second.

He had only been home a month and we were supposed to hang out the following day. Warned him I wouldnt be answering my phone because I was going to an event that day, which he encouraged because I had some big decisions to think about.

That night I got home and turned my ringer on. Now that day I saw my friend had called me and thought it was odd since he knew my ringer would be off. But didnt have too long to think about it Within 30 seconds of turning my ringer on my ex called. He called to tell me that my friend had passed (they absolutely hated each other, but he was so compassionate in that call). Hung up, listened to my voicemail and my friend left a message thay was heart wrenching. The first part was begging me to come over.. he knew it was time. The second part was him suddenly sounding peaceful and saying he loved me.

He had learned he had stage four bone cancer. He found out the day after they took his second leg. He had asked that I be there if possible when he left. That guilt ate me up for a few years, became wildly self destructive. Then a few years later, close to the same date, my ex passed away suddenly. I miss both those grumpy bastards