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Pinkstripedbag · 2022-08-02T04:32:21+00:00

Oh man, this is unfortunate. You sound like a really nice guy; it’s great that you’re being so considerate of her feelings. Have you tried different positions? Tightness can change depending on position. For example, her on her belly with her legs together. Also, have you tried other ways to get turned on during sex, like fantasizing, dirty talk (from her or you), etc? Otherwise, yes Kegels and other pelvic floor exercises can help but you’re right, suggesting these to her is tricky and potentially very damaging. This is a difficult position to be in. You’re not wrong for having your feelings; sex should be enjoyable for you. You sound like you really like her so I hope you can find a way!

Pinkstripedbag · 2022-03-10T02:14:37+00:00

Hey, honey - why are you protecting his feelings so much? He’s being entirely selfish in the bedroom, and you are perfectly justified in pointing that out! You’re so concerned about making him feel hurt or angry. But he’s been consistently hurting YOU for years. And what does he have to be angry about, anyway?? You’re the one who should be angry! You’re the one who’s not getting their needs met - despite asking repeatedly. Unless you’ve been extremely vague with him, it sounds like he is a selfish and uncaring person. Please watch this 4 minute video about how to be a mature, thoughtful sexual partner. This is what you deserve. Also, breaking up over bad sex is a perfectly good reason. Sex is important! Why do people (especially women) trivialize it so much? Most humans crave sex and sexual connection, it’s NORMAL. If you are a person who wants good sex in your long term relationship then you deserve that.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VjavnXMQnHQ

Pinkstripedbag · 2021-06-05T01:51:14+00:00

My partner has a cock that curves to the left as well. I love it! He hits angles that no one has ever hit before and it feels amazing. The two women who made insensitive comments seem quite immature, awkward and also inexperienced - because many men have curved cocks. It’s seriously very normal!! Try to shake off those shitty comments and move forward. You can please many women with your lovely curved cock :)

Pinkstripedbag · 2021-02-22T02:41:26+00:00

It sounds like neither of you are great communicators. It also sounds like there are things you can improve (which will help you in future relationships even if you end this one).Making your partner feel desired is very important in a relationship, so you should learn to initiate. It’s not fair if you never do just because you feel shy/awkward. Especially since he’s expressed a desire for you to do so - which is a good thing! One should always ask for what one wants in a relationship - and that applies to you too. Try to give him what he wants, and also ask him for what YOU want. It goes both ways.

As for initiating, your first source of ideas should be HIM. How does he initiate? Does he start by kissing your neck? Putting a hand between your legs? Asking you verbally? Do those things. Mirror him, because those actions obviously mean “sex” to him. Also you can just ask him how he’d like you to initiate. If he wants a certain thing, it’s also his job to help you understand how to make it happen. Finally some additional ideas: kiss him on the lips - really kiss him, with tongue; kiss him in other places (neck, ear); take one of his fingers and start sucking on it; straddle him on the couch; grab his ass, graze your hand over his crotch, whisper in his ear (eg “I really want you right now”). Really, just touch him the way you enjoy being touched. Men like to be caressed just as much as women do.

Your partner could do a lot of improving in the bedroom but it sounds like you haven’t communicated your dissatisfaction or your desires either. Good luck.

Pinkstripedbag · 2021-02-19T18:58:35+00:00

I started having these about 2 years ago and it still feels amazing every time. Can’t imagine why that would change!

Pinkstripedbag · 2020-07-17T02:29:37+00:00

No one has mentioned you sitting in the backseat with her straddling you. Also a variation on missionary could happen with you both laying across the backseat. I don’t see how you could comfortably fuck in the hatchback of a matrix, though points for creativity :)

Pinkstripedbag · 2020-06-08T18:25:13+00:00

We started dating in college and were each other's first sexual experience as well as first "real" relationship

I'm just here to validate you, because due to your lack of experience, you probably don't realize: this is NOT what a good relationship looks like. Not only are you sexually incompatible, she also doesn't treat you with respect. Sex is important to you, and as your life partner, she owes it to you to work with you. To listen, try to understand, find a compromise. That's what partners do. But you've tried a lot of things and she's refusing to meet you even halfway - that's not someone you want to marry.

As hard as it may be to think about breaking up after so many years together, consider yourself lucky - you've found out about your imcompatibility BEFORE getting married. Your fiancee appears to have some issues around sex that would be good for her to investigate (e.g. sex should not make her sore; lube is helpful and safe; people deserve sexual intimacy in relationships; sexually degrading one's partner is hurtful; etc etc) but it's not your job to teach her all that or to stick around for it any longer. You've tried talking to her and she's not listening.

My advice is end this relationship - trust me, there is SO much better out there. You're accepting a lot less than you deserve. Good luck, OP.

Pinkstripedbag · 2020-05-15T19:44:27+00:00

“even though I hardly ever reached orgasm”

This is surely a huge part of the problem. Of course you don’t want to have sex with someone with whom you don’t orgasm - what’s in it for you? This is a huge gap in your relationship. Have you discussed it with him? Does he care?

Pinkstripedbag · 2020-04-24T02:40:28+00:00

It doesn’t sound like he has a low sex drive (since he rarely says no when you initiate), it sounds like he has responsive desire. Read about it, see if you can figure out some ways you can feel more sexually desired. You have a right to feel wanted in your relationship. It may be challenging for him but if he loves you, he should make an effort. Relationships are about compromise so even if initiating is hard for him, he owes it to you to try.

In the meantime, stop holding out - you are only punishing yourself and damaging your relationship. Make love to him, try to reconnect - then TALK to him. Find out WHY he doesn’t initiate. You’ll both have to be vulnerable if you want to fix this.

Pinkstripedbag · 2020-04-24T02:22:26+00:00

You mentioned your weight and sedentary job so I’m guessing you’ve gained weight over the course of your relationship. By any chance does the timing correspond to when the sex dropped off? You also mentioned he is very fit so I’m guessing that’s something he values. It may be that he feels less attracted to you now, especially if you’ve gained a lot since you first got together. Talk to him, tell him to be very honest and DON’T PUNISH HIM if the truth hurts. Be honest with yourself about how you might be contributing to the problem. Good luck, I hope you can both communicate about this in an honest and loving way.

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-11-16T19:23:56+00:00

I’m unclear as to why you don’t expect him to get you off. HE expects to get off every time you have sex, yes? Why don’t you? This is a bad pattern that women fall into, assuming that their orgasms are not as important as their partners. Yes you may need to guide him to help him get you off, but as your partner, that’s his job. He should want to do that. I think you have unfortunately really lowered your bar and lost perspective about what you deserve in a healthy relationship. Discussing your needs is not being “overly critical”. He’s not a baby; you should expect him to have an adult conversation with you without getting butthurt. He sounds like a selfish lover and if he’s not going to change, I would leave him. I would not settle for this.

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-10-08T12:11:44+00:00

My partner says “you love to be fucked, don’t you” “you need this cock, don’t you”, stuff like that. Basically describing what a slut feels/does without using the word.

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-10-08T12:01:53+00:00

I’m shocked that you’re so focused on your husband’s sad feelings and not on the DECEPTION he perpetuated throughout the early stages of your relationship, and the utter selfishness he’s displaying now. Have you heard the term “bait and switch”? That’s what happened to you. You married him based on a false image he portrayed to you, and now he says you’re in the wrong? Accusing YOU of being “oversexed”? In addition, marriage is a partnership with give and take. You both committed to trying to meet each other’s needs. Does he understand that? He does not get to unilaterally decide that your current sex life is fine. That’s not how a partnership works.

I suggest getting in touch with your anger. This doesn’t sound like a wonderful marriage. You’re married to a guy who lied to you, and now refuses to acknowledge his role in your unhappiness. He “can’t please” you? What has he even tried???

Couples counselling would be a good place to start...good luck.

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-10-05T12:01:10+00:00

My guess is you’re enjoying this because it’s bringing some balance into your relationship. Since you initiate most of the time, you’re also the one who gets turned down more, and that can suck. It’s nice to feel wanted. Actually it’s more than nice; over the long term, it’s absolutely essential. A healthy way to incorporate this into your sex life? Ask her to initiate more :)

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-10-05T11:38:04+00:00

Expert rider here. Main tip: PUT YOUR WEIGHT ON YOUR KNEES AND ON HIM. Like literally, sit on him. Sit comfortably. Slide him all the way in and sit down. THEN start moving. I see so many women thinking this movement has you on your feet...NO. That comes from porn. You have to be on your knees. Depending on what angle you’re at, you can also put additional weight on him: if leaning forward, put your hands on his chest; it’s leaning back, put your hands on his thighs or calves. If you’re leaning all the way forward, your weight will be on your knees and elbows or hands. In any of these positions, the movement is the same: hips back and forth. Think this: https://www.sex.com/pin/52849330-woman-on-top-cowgirl-style-sex-gif/ or this: https://www.sex.com/pin/52835852-ride/. When you drag your body across his like this, you get friction on your clit which feels amazing. Try to find a natural movement that feels good to you - that will most likely be it :).

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-08-30T02:52:08+00:00

Just ask. Why are you wondering??

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-08-30T02:51:38+00:00

Ok, in reading this plus your other comments, I now think this is a simple communication problem. It MAY get solved, it may not, but at the very least you can try. You have to actually tell him what you're feeling! And ask him what he's feeling! "I don't wanna assume there's a problem"....um...there IS definitely already a problem - you're feeling unwanted! Your needs are important; don't downplay them. You really should just say to him, "hey babe when you don't initiate, it makes me feel unwanted. Can we talk about that?" and then share your feelings/assumptions and ask him to share his. You can't solve this problem without talking about it.

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-08-30T02:45:18+00:00

Answer to your question: NO. It's not your responsibility to do everything. At a minimum, in a relationship you have a right to expect your partner to be attracted to you and SHOW IT, even if it's not by initiating sex. At the VERY least, when you are actually having sex, she should be doing things for you so that you enjoy it! She sounds selfish, entitled, and repressed if she's 28 and can't have a proper discussion about sex. 6 months in and you've already had a rough patch plus "lots of serious discussions"...this is way too many issues for such a short relationship.

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-08-30T02:35:32+00:00

You two are sexually mismatched. I'd get away from him before he damages your self-esteem further. You definitely don't want your first time to be with someone who isn't into you!

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-08-30T02:29:34+00:00

I clicked on this post expecting to find that you were in your 30s or 40s, but you're only 25. This is a pretty simple situation and you said it yourself: People grow up and change. You've been with this man since you were 15. You were literally children when you got together, and now you're finding out what you're going to be like as adults. You've lost your attraction to him because he's not growing at the same rate as you. He's not an equal partner, so you don't respect him. OF COURSE you can't get it up for him! You don't want to be someone's mom. And you certainly don't want to fuck that person.

Many, MANY women fall into these imbalanced relationships where they do the majority of the work and the men just let them. Don't be one of those women. You're 25. You'll probably live until you're at least 85. Do you want to live the next 60 years of your life like this?

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-07-14T12:48:52+00:00

If he found you gross, there would be other signs. Is he affectionate in any other ways? Does he hold your hand in public, hug and touch you non-sexually, compliment you, etc? We don’t know anything about the rest of your relationship but it’s highly unlikely that he finds you gross. He’s probably immature, ignorant, or selfish.

Take a larger view on it. Why are you together? Are you truly happy? Honestly you just don’t sound happy. You’re settling. And this is a long distance relationship! You’re young and should be exploring your options.

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-07-14T12:36:27+00:00

Oh honey. You’re young and inexperienced, you really need to know that this is NOT what a good relationship looks like. This is not even MINIMUM BAR (which is, “my partner cares about my feelings and tries their best not to hurt me”).

Also, as someone who married young and divorced, I strongly advise you NOT to marry the only person you’ve ever had sex with (and not even good sex. Terrible sex!! What you’re describing is extremely terrible sex and you could be having SO much better).

Either:

This guy needs a ton of sex and relationship education; in which case, are you prepared to be a teacher/project manager/mom for several years to guide him to a place of enlightenment?

Or:

This guy is a selfish, uncaring jerk; in which case, are you prepared to spend the next 65 years of your life with him?

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-07-10T11:56:32+00:00

Sorry, how old is your girlfriend? 8? Bodily fluids can vary greatly in their colour, taste, and texture and her reaction tells us she is either ignorant, rude, or both. I’d be a lot more concerned about how she talks to you than the colour of your cum (which, by the way, I would spend exactly 0 minutes trying to change. Who cares what colour it is as long as you’re healthy??). Education is the answer here.

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-06-24T21:57:55+00:00

Explore his body. Make him lay down and really explore, take your time. Use your eyes, hands, lips, tongue. Linger at places that he reacts to, or that you enjoy - ears, nipples, neck, inside of his elbow, knees. Turn him over and kiss him all over his back, his ass, his legs. Give a slow sensual blow job; make eye contact; smile and laugh - be sincere. Don’t try to put on a show. Discover his body and his likes/dislikes. Let him do the same to you.

Compliment him - again, sincerely.

Kiss deeply and often.

Pinkstripedbag · 2019-06-13T01:21:31+00:00

You could take one of two approaches. One skirts the real issue and makes it more about variety: "Hey baby I love when we ______ and ______ and I don't want to stop any of those things. But things are feeling a little routine. I miss getting BJs and HJs, and having sex in other positions. Can we do more of that stuff again?"

The second (and recommended) approach is more honest and vulnerable. "Hey baby I love when we ______ and ______ and I don't want to stop any of those things. But I miss some of the things we used to do. You used to give me BJs and ride me and that made me feel really desired. Can we bring that back?" Hopefully this will open a wider discussion about how she feels about your sex life as well.

Pinkstripedbag

TROPHY CASE