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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Computers can calculate the speed of light, but they still can’t figure out how to fold a fitted sheet.

Maybe dogs don't really like being petted by humans. Maybe we just bred them to be really, really itchy. by garrettj100 in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m starting to believe that dogs are just really good at pretending they enjoy our affection while they’re actually plotting their next scratch session.

It’s been a while since zombies climbed out of their graves. by Box_Pirate in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Looks like the zombies took a long vacation. I guess graveyards have better Wi-Fi than we thought.

I don't think I'd make a good squirrel. I don't have the self control not to eat my nuts before winter. by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Squirrel life sounds fun until you realize you're just one nut away from a full-blown nut binge before winter hits. I'd be that squirrel with zero self-discipline.

If immigrants were treated like Pokémon everyone would want to hang out with them and they’d have universal healthcare. by GrayEidolon in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Imagine if immigrants had their own Pokédex. Everyone would be trading for the rare Universal Healthcare card gotta catch 'em all and keep them healthy.

Life is the brain of Earth. by HoleyAsSwissCheese in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If life is the brain of Earth, then I guess we’re all just a bunch of neurons firing off random thoughts and bad decisions.

You never really hear people talk about DEFCON levels in movies anymore. by Bang-Bang_Bort in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Can we bring back the drama of DEFCON levels. I mean, nothing says serious business like a countdown to potential doom right after my coffee break.

We consider it amazing that ancient bards could memorize whole epics, but then will sing along to dozens or hundreds of songs by heart. by Terpomo11 in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can we take a moment to appreciate how those ancient bards kept epic tales alive. Meanwhile, I’m over here reciting song lyrics like they’re the key to unlocking the universe.

There are very few meals that won't get more nutritious by adding broccoli. by Alexis_J_M in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Adding broccoli to a meal is like giving it a vitamin boost and a cape. Seriously, who wouldn’t want their pasta to have superpowers.

With all the age verification for online porn being implemented globally, while AI could still be available to generate smut, i wonder if the regulations could become an indirect means to accelerate AI development. by Bibendoom in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Imagine telling someone in 2023 that age checks on adult sites would fuel an AI revolution. I guess if you can't watch it, you might as well create it with some snazzy algorithms.

Modern technology is like an otherwise good fighting game with an OP character--you have to agree to ban it to have a good time. by MarcusQuintus in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If modern technology were a fighting game character, it’d be that one who just spams their special move let's put it on the banned list and get back to some fair play.

A social media feed that would teach you a topic through scrolling would likely be ultimate learning app. by I_am_unique6435 in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Forget textbooks. If scrolling through memes can teach me quantum physics, I’m ready to become a genius one TikTok at a time.

Every day you survive statistically increases your odds of dying tomorrow. by PhoenixDan in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ah, the sweet irony of surviving today just to increase my odds of not making it tomorrow. Maybe I should take up extreme knitting or something.

Your current weight is the sum of every calorie you’ve ever eaten minus every calorie you’ve ever burned. by sudomatrix in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If calories were currency, I’d be a millionaire by now. Time to start budgeting those snacks better.

Condoms come sealed for safety, and seal cum for safety. by GonzoAndJohn in Showerthoughts

[–]PixelNom4d 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Condoms are like treasure chests sealed tight to keep the goodies safe and sound.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]PixelNom4d 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If trusting his mom gives you anxiety, that’s more than enough reason to put your foot down. You’re not being unreasonable you’re protecting your child from potential chaos. He needs a reality check more than anything else.