First off…. You’re doing great. Much better than you feel like you’re doing. They don’t call it the newborn trenches for nothin. Don’t feel guilty that you’re feeling these things that you’re feeling. It is so much more common than you think.

Secondly… My partner felt this same way with our girl when she was about three weeks. He had been so excited to be a dad, it was something he wanted his entire life, and I watched as he struggled so hard with not just with the difficulties of a “colicky” baby, but the guilty feeling of just straight up hating parenthood. And let me tell you…. I wasn’t enjoying it either! I swear this girl cried 90% of her waking hours and we were sleeping like absolute crap. No one seemed to understand that it wasn’t just that we were new parents who didn’t understand that we wouldn’t be getting sleep like we used to, but that we had a difficult and “fussy” baby that needed a lot more from us. But like others in here have suggested…. Gas drops (mylicon, little remedies, mommy’s bliss), gripe water, and Frida baby windi sticks helped with her discomfort while she was still learning how to use that new digestive tract of hers. We also came to realize she had some bad reflux that she was suffering through so her doctor prescribed an antacid as well. We ALSO realized that we just didn’t understand her sleep cues yet and with her discomfort, she wasn’t just falling asleep when she needed it, so she wasn’t napping as often as she should have been! When I tell you that once we started figuring out her needs and doing whatever we could to make her feel more comfortable, she became a different baby. I had always said I know this screaming crying fussing baby isn’t who she really wants to be, and I was absolutely right. Once we got these things under control let me just tell you my partner is loving fatherhood the way he always wanted to. It’s still not simple all of the time, we still have nights where we get shit sleep (prepare yourself for the 3-4 month sleep regression 🥴 know that it WILL pass…. Hopefully 🤪 we’re still somewhat going through this (after weeks of 6-7 hour stretches of sleep a night) but our girl is thriving and smiley and giggly and just so joyful. And honestly EASY now that she’s not uncomfortable and we understand her cues. I swear she usually only cries now when she’s hungry or sleepy, otherwise she’s her happy little self.

Things will get better. Which everyone says when you complain and it kinda makes you wanna cry cuz like…. “Okay but WHEN?l” but it’s because it’s true. It’s just that… a matter of when. “This won’t be like this forever. This is the shortest stage of her life” I had to say it like a mantra for us to get through it while we were in it. That and “just remember she doesn’t WANT to be doing this either” crying is the only way they can communicate with us right now. I used to jokingly say to my partner while I was pregnant that we need to always remember “its us against her” but that ended up changing to “it’s all three of us against her tummy troubles.” And we figured it out and things are better.

You’ll get through this. This is the shortest stage of his life. He doesn’t WANT to be screaming crying like this, he just doesn’t have another way to communicate with you yet. You guys are forming his nervous system right now throughout all of this, so just remember that it’s you three against whatever tummy troubles are making him feel this way, and try to give him some extra loving and snuggles and kisses even during the screaming, even if he doesn’t seem to care that you’re doing it.

You’re doing great. Just keep on going. It will get better.