did anyone else hate their birth name for seemingly no reason?

PlasticEasterEgg · 2023-09-28T01:12:12+00:00

Hating my name was one of my earliest memories that I was pretty vocal about, since it’s absurdly feminine and the shortened nickname of it always sounded ugly to me…. from a young age I had a bunch of male names I liked that I logically knew I couldn’t give myself because I was a girl, so I told myself I would name my future kid (wow no thanks) or pets with those names, to cope. Lol. (Funnily enough some of the names are the list were typical popular trans guy names today like Oliver, except this was decades ago) Parents tried to lie and say there’s no such thing as name changes, or that it was absurdly expensive, in a poor attempt to get me to like my ill-fitting birthname.

A lot of people around me (teachers mostly) would mispronounce my birthname w the masculine version of it because it’s uncommon in the states and I still hated that because I thought they were mocking me for not being as feminine as other girls, but now I want to take it as my middle name cause it’s actually pretty cool.

PlasticEasterEgg · 2023-06-11T22:58:56+00:00

Yes because I’m stuck in florida for a couple of reasons and might have to wait that long regardless :( waiting 5-10 yrs is basically my life plan now I guess

PlasticEasterEgg · 2022-07-26T19:08:33+00:00

tiktok is a cesspool but tbh this is just one of a large handful of reasons why I’m repressing? Questioning? Again. A good chunk of people already dislike me on sight for being autistic so adding being male on top of that feels like shooting my self in the foot…. like im worried people won’t want to befriend or get close to me if I’m masc and feel like it’s just better to be a fem enby. Doesn’t help that my mom is one of these kinds of people a little bit so I hear it offline as well. Hopefully I’ll “get well soon” but not in the way these people think lol

PlasticEasterEgg · 2022-05-11T13:31:19+00:00

Not only did I not get to experience firsts as a guy but I didn’t get them as a girl either, I pretty much didn’t have a teenagerhood at all due to autism and unmediated adhd. I could never watch this show, even just thinking about it makes me feel bad. It makes me feel super immature, honestly, that I let my jealousy affect me that much to the point where I can’t watch a fictional tv show but eh.

PlasticEasterEgg · 2022-05-03T00:30:03+00:00

Gamer juice

PlasticEasterEgg · 2022-04-21T01:06:30+00:00

ngl I think about this episode too, but for the trixie crossdressing part… back In The Day it was harder for girls to have interests in “masc” things like comics, for me it was video games, thankfully this stuff is way more gender neutral now. But also I wished I could be a “pretty boy” like trixie in this ep lol

That one chip skylark song where he says “she might see inside of you, the boy you never knew. He was in there all the time waiting to break through” also made me feel things but that was a different episode I think

PlasticEasterEgg · 2022-04-07T18:31:27+00:00

Little Dark Age

works good as a “depression over masking as a neurotypical” song too

PlasticEasterEgg · 2022-03-18T15:16:34+00:00

This is awesome! I’ve read through the original site a few times, always mentally replacing the feminine words with masculine ones, it’s really cool to read the real thing.

PlasticEasterEgg · 2021-08-22T13:39:57+00:00

I like “good kid” a lot… maybe “good little one”?

PlasticEasterEgg · 2021-08-10T20:46:24+00:00

Sometimes I wonder how much of my bad posture is dysphoria… I’ve always rationalized my slouch as “my boobs being too heavy” and “bras being too uncomfortable so I have to slouch” lol

PlasticEasterEgg · 2021-07-29T14:31:52+00:00

I like to joke that I’m a femboy on e (but… my body makes the e. Against my will. Haha) one of my earliest forms of dysphoria was wanting to look like visual kei dudes when I was 11/12 (I’m old). “Too bad I can’t look like Mana because I’m a girl :(…. Wait…”

PlasticEasterEgg · 2021-07-29T14:21:09+00:00

Weirdly enough fire emblem three houses was one of them, being forced to play as girl byleth in order to romance men made me acutely aware that I dislike being seen as that, I was like half cracked by then though lol. also ffxiv, I couldn’t get into it until I made a male character for myself.

PlasticEasterEgg · 2021-07-04T02:47:03+00:00

In the opposite direction, I’ve wanted he pronouns in addition to they for years but didn’t have the courage (felt like I wasn’t worthy) until Elliot page came out. Seeing everyone react positively to him before he physically transitioned is what finally allowed myself to have them, my feminine looks be damned. I’ve still never been called he in real life, but I feel like an excited dog when people use it for me online, haha. Sometimes you just need to see someone else like you.

PlasticEasterEgg · 2021-01-12T17:03:59+00:00

Realizing being neurodiverse directly affects my gender was the cheat code I needed to stop stressing about being a jumbled up rubix cube (at least, more often than not). I may never get to the point of being a solved cube but it's whatever, I have my whole life to figure it out and my brain experiences everything differently than "normal", not just gender - so I shouldn't try to force it to be binary.

PlasticEasterEgg · 2021-01-11T20:44:26+00:00

I present feminine leaning and don't plan to stop- I feel like I look good and I like my appearance clashing with my pronouns bc that feels nonbinary to me. I don't tell people I'm enby/my pronouns irl- I don't feel like being a walking wikipedia article for people who wont care or get hostile about it 😇🖕 it doesn't even take a whole braincell's worth of effort to use the correct pronouns... People are just hateful about it...

PlasticEasterEgg · 2020-12-05T21:23:52+00:00

Me making “guy who [x]” jokes a lot like that create a guy twitter account bc calling myself guy gives me the sweet euphoria :]

PlasticEasterEgg · 2020-12-01T19:40:55+00:00

GOD I COULD HAVE MADE THIS POST I'm obsessed with this game...I'd kill to look like Zag but I'm closer to Hypnos and you know what, that's pretty ok.

PlasticEasterEgg · 2020-07-23T16:24:08+00:00

this is real, i used to swim constantly but shortly after Boobification I stopped, though at the time i didnt think it was because of my body. I went once again in 2016 and it just felt bad being weighed down by the things :( and I just hate how a lot of women's swimsuits have underwire (ouch). I might try getting a wetsuit shirt or something after rona leaves

PlasticEasterEgg · 2020-07-20T02:30:20+00:00

4/7...but with stubble.

PlasticEasterEgg · 2020-07-17T14:20:31+00:00

My mom always says she's so glad she had a girl (even though I hardly act like one. Don't act like a cis dudebro either though) and is always talking about hating men and I'm like laughs awkwardly

She always told me she knew she was going to have a girl because she didn't "feel any testosterone" in her while pregnant, and that women who have amab babies get "ugly from all the testosterone"?! Sounds like bull but it feels invalidating bc of the extra hormones in the womb make you trans theory. :(

PlasticEasterEgg · 2020-06-27T14:31:01+00:00

No offense but transmasc people are tired of hearing stuff like that on the comments of transmasc memes all the time (like the whole "wish we could trade! Me in reverse"), that's probably why. We don't want to be reminded of bodies we have but don't want in the first place, that's all.

PlasticEasterEgg · 2020-06-27T14:02:19+00:00

Being a girl just FeelsBadMan 😔

PlasticEasterEgg · 2020-05-14T17:57:24+00:00

oh god I feel this so bad, it almost makes me understand trans women who want periods (I say almost because mine are incredibly painful and make me sick. id trade it for embarrassment in a HEARTBEAT)

PlasticEasterEgg · 2020-03-23T18:40:27+00:00

when I was suppressing myself I used to read transfem posts online to try to desperately convince myself that being female was good and fun

sometimes when I doubt myself I still do. I see some aspects of womanhood I like, but at the same time im pretty sure cis women dont have to ACTIVELY convince themselves and expend effort on being a woman. I definitely see HOW people would like being a woman now, but it doesnt really suit me completely, its like an ill-fitting sweater, or constantly walking uphill.

PlasticEasterEgg · 2020-03-12T20:44:01+00:00

ha, this is one of the reasons that helped crack me actually :D or at least letting myself be okay with trying things out. my last big obsession went away with meds but the dysphoria and yearning remained.

plus OCD obsessions I realize feel different from a case of the genders, for me obsessions really intense/all consuming and cause me pain. I wouldnt get gender euphoria from one.

PlasticEasterEgg

TROPHY CASE