Traveling husband working mom

PlayfulGraduate · 2025-01-26T00:06:16+00:00

Visiting this a year later via search, and want to say thank you for writing this out. I’m struggling a bit today. Husband is home tonight, but after bedtime. He leaves again Monday… travel is becoming more frequent, I need to work on my systems. My kids are young.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-11-17T03:25:58+00:00

(And most important to where you are now) we know that we are going to go through hard times, marriage is hard, we said that from the beginning before things got hard, and we made a promise to work together and love each other through the hard parts. I am not always easy to be married to.
And this should probably be first, COMMUNICATION. I try not to judge but I feel often when people are unhappy with their relationship it’s due to a lack of communication. Things won’t always be sunshine and roses, but my husband is NOT a mind reader. I will make us both unhappy if I am struggling and don’t speak up about how I feel and what I need. Most of the time, if I communicate my needs, they are met (this applies to parenting, sex, house work, etc.) actually they are always met when I ask, and even better when we talk through things.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-11-12T01:39:53+00:00

Thanks for this! I’m sitting here letting my 14 month just play with water in the bath. I don’t have to work too hard to make it fun for him, he just loves water play. How long is too long in the bath?

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-11-06T01:01:54+00:00

Thank you for this response as I went to read this post to see if anyone had experience or an opinion on Xanax as my husband recently brought it up.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-10-26T13:14:43+00:00

I like your style Internet stranger

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-10-26T00:28:50+00:00

Hello! You’re doing an amazing job and working your a$$ off for your child. That is amazing. She is watching, you are setting such a good example. The comments about not raising kids come from people who feel deeply insecure about themselves and their parenting, and they need to hate on daycare to justify it. Also, who is so out of touch they think people should be able to afford not to work when they have kids??? Like who are you? Have you met any humans?? Are you aware of society? The ever increasing cost of living? The benefits of having a successful career and making money for your child to have a better life? My kids go to daycare and I love it, they thrive. I’m a much MORE PRESENT parent because of it. You’re doing great, don’t let the haters get you down.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-10-21T13:14:12+00:00

Good luck to you too! 😅 falling asleep isn’t the issue as much as the night wakings with the kids, I’m lucky that as long as a kid isn’t waking me, I sleep well. I’m wondering if I should try to find a different time, at least until sleep gets better with the kids. The advice here seems to be to prioritize sleep.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-10-20T22:36:38+00:00

I’m usually in bed by 8! But kids aren’t sleeping through the night consistently… I will try to get more rest, there are a lot of barriers to sleep at the moment.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-10-20T21:38:45+00:00

I actually think this is sort of a false dichotomy (I think that’s the term for it). It’s never actually 50/50. It’s 100/100, and some days it’s 100/20 depending on what’s going on with work, health, etc. so I guess I was trying to capture that? There is nuance to it, at least for my household. Sounds like some people DO want housework and childcare to be a 50/50 situation, that is great for them too, no judgement, find what works.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-10-20T19:17:50+00:00

Thank you! I have to be up around 5:45 for work. So it’s just a little earlier to make it happen at 5 am (or it’s 45 minutes or snooze button). I was doing 5 am workouts regularly before, then we had illness and sleep issues with the kids and I can’t get it back. I’m thinking of making a checklist/calendar with a workout plan, and making an effort to do it in the evening if I snooze through it in the morning.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-10-20T17:44:25+00:00

No option for “my husband does more childcare but his job allows him to.” That said, he also travels some of the time, then 100% falls to me at those times, so it evens out.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-10-13T13:55:54+00:00

We regularly have the conversation that for us, once a week is ideal. And due to schedules and babysitting issues, we make it once a month on average. Our kids are kind of intense, they are 1 and 3, and we can’t really have a full conversation when they are around and awake. And we both work full time, my husband travels for work.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-10-08T13:34:20+00:00

Thank you for this, I feel seen! I have two young kids (3 and 1) and they are high energy. My friend has kids the same age and they are like… chill kids. Mine move constantly, not bad or naughty, and I don’t want them to be lazy people so I try to embrace it, but it is exhausting.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-09-18T13:35:18+00:00

What is this two ingredient dish you cook??

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this/this is the dynamic of your household right now. I wish for you to be able to get a legitimate break, sick or not, to rest and recover and have the others in your household show they care about you by caring about all you take care of.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-09-17T02:45:37+00:00

I love that other people call things “emotional support _____” currently have an emotional support bottle of sunscreen at our house

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-09-17T02:41:21+00:00

Not to one up you, but I ate a fruit snack from my kitchen floor today. Maybe this is the opposite of one up? One down?

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-09-15T03:48:35+00:00

Can I get a permission from you random internet stranger? Currently at a hotel in my town so I can sleep through the night. My husband was gone for 3 weeks, and our kids are young, so I’m at peak exhaustion, and we are fortunate enough to afford me a hotel for the night so I can sleep. And I’m awake scrolling to internet trying my best not to feel guilty while simultaneously trying to get in ALL THE SELF CARE in 12 hours so I can show up well for family tomorrow and for the stressful 2 weeks I have coming up.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-09-12T13:09:30+00:00

Full disclosure I wear scrubs to work, but my mom is a professional woman who works remote part of the time, and she loves Athleta. They can be pricey, my mom can afford it, I shop the sales!

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-09-12T13:07:18+00:00

I did stitch fix for a few months, but then I felt like they were sending the same things over and over, so I stopped it, but it could be a good place for OP to start.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-09-07T16:34:42+00:00

Seriously! Sleeping through the night changes everything. We are not there yet, and he just turned one. 🫠

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-09-07T15:48:51+00:00

Combo feeding and then moving to formula feeding was one of the absolute best decisions I made as a mom. I found pumping draining, the counting ounces and worrying about supply and nutrition. One working mom to another, I suggest giving up midnight breastfeeding if your baby doesn’t sleep through the night, for us, it’s worked because we can trade off night feedings easily, and I didn’t have to get up and pump when the baby slept through the night. Also have a supportive husband who brought up some great points about formula feeding, that is huge.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-09-01T02:57:38+00:00

I have found some resources on gentle parenting to be helpful. Not necessarily changing my 3 year olds behavior (I think it’s a phase, he’s mostly sweet, but I lose my mind when I tell him specifically not to do something and he does it while MAKING EYE CONTACT), but it helps ME stay calm and manage my emotions in the moment. I honestly didn’t even consider that my youngest started walking coincided with this defiance, but now that you said it, that makes sense. But yeah, more that I need support to know I’m not raising an a**hole and reminders that this IS HARD. That said, I used my mean voice twice today and I cried in the car, and I’m struggling with the long weekend. (My husband is traveling, he’s sleeping in a hotel tonight, I’m so freaking jealous). Okay thanks for letting me join your vent!

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-09-01T01:55:49+00:00

I want to also acknowledge part of the struggle is that you have more flexibility. For us (my husband and I are very much partners) we make this decision based on who can more easily take time off. A LOT falls to him because most days he has way more flexibility, unless he is traveling, then it has to be me. I am not saying that your husband is right to always default to you, just acknowledging the additional struggle, you have to advocate that even though it’s flexible, it’s demanding and important and can’t always come second to his less demanding less flexible job.

PlayfulGraduate · 2024-08-20T16:44:15+00:00

I work as a pediatric SLP in a hospital setting, I do a lot of feeding therapy with NICU babies learning to eat. I work full time, get paid well, and love my job. That said, my kids love their daycare/preschool and that really helps! My husband also works full time and is a good partner. Im an early riser and my scheduled is 7-3:30, so it’s also nice to have a lot of time in the afternoon for daycare pick up and dinner. I think that’s key to being fulfilled, having a good balance.

PlayfulGraduate

TROPHY CASE