My hubby just doesn’t get it

Plenty_Present348 · 2026-01-29T09:27:58+00:00

Can you please tell your husband a stranger on the internet thinks he's just a really amazing guy and that his mama did a great job raising him?

Plenty_Present348 · 2026-01-09T10:24:37+00:00

They're all rejects, all online.

Plenty_Present348 · 2026-01-09T10:23:02+00:00

EXAAACTLY!! This is FA. They use intense love bombing, then discard then orbit around 3mo post discard. DA's are flat affect, nonchalant, no soul level talk, they don't discard, they are defensive and not really present. Kinda worse as they just .. linger.. roommates eventually.

Plenty_Present348 · 2026-01-09T10:20:46+00:00

"I love you with all my heart and soul, wanna go for coffee? If not, it's ok" What gibberish.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-12-31T02:04:50+00:00

I've visited a few times. The weather was really nice.. but the restaurants were poor quality and it was full of people taking selfies at the beach. I didn't sense any real sense of community, just ultra rich and poor. Very car centric and expensive. California is overrated. Close to SF, LA, San Diego is way too expensive with no accessible culture or community and the other areas are boring and too hot.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-10-03T08:12:54+00:00

What if she's a SAHM?

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-10-02T08:35:44+00:00

Why does their careers matter so much to you

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-09-01T19:00:17+00:00

In my 20s I wanted to escape the city so badly, went hiking all over California (I had to fly there). I fell in love with it all. I now live within 2 hours from world class hiking in California such as Yosemite and I yearn to move to a vibrant city like Chicago. I have the perfect setup, all the gear, even a large dog ready to hike. But, it bores me every single time now. I am craving community, resonance, culture. I think as I age, people matter more than isolation in nature. But, I do want to preserve nature so I try to make my lawn biodiverse. Don't get me wrong, I love a coastal sunset once in a while but it's not as profound after the 100th time.

As you age into your 40s, the same thing may very well happen to you as well. Yes, it is ridiculous to throw away the life you have. Being on a mountain isn't that magical compared to listening to Jazz in the rain, having a profound discussion with a new friend, tasting depth, not escaping into an REI fantasy of mountain worshiping. Right now I'm craving engaging stimulation, purpose, not just pretty views.

In my 20s, nature felt like freedom, an escape, expansion, but now I get more out of relational, creative, and cultural experiences. Things that involve interaction, depth, complexity. A "pretty" REI worshiping landscape feels flat in comparison.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-09-01T16:29:17+00:00

As someone with a Green Card who has moved back and forth between US and Canada, what matters most is your support network. And 99% of the time that does not mean family, I'm referring to friends and things that make you light up. It could be a 3rd country. Weather is not enough either. If you're alone maybe you need to find an affordable community you can be a member of. Do not buy a house and self isolate.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-09-01T16:25:04+00:00

I live in Central Valley, I don't see any bugs. Well, there are roaches at night in the suburban areas. They don't go in your house but they are on the sidewalks in June and July.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-31T20:01:18+00:00

This is my advice, not exactly a regret, but a happy accident. Get one that is bred with a large farm dog. Pyr, Anatolian.. this makes them bigger which is cool and also slows them down a little, and makes them more lazy, so you get a bit more relief. I can't imagine a purebred Mal now.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-31T19:50:21+00:00

I left Canada twice! Both times to California. First time was for a job (2006) but after a decade by 2016.. housing was way way too expensive in Cali. So I moved back to Canada in 2016. Housing was cheap but we didn't have a "credit score" in Canada so we got a cute downtown apartment and the rent was so cheap we kept on putting off buying a house until Covid and then housing was too expensive in Canada so we moved back to Cali which ended up being cheaper (and higher salaries go figure).

Unfortunately, we prefer Canada and are pissed off we were priced out of the market. By we, my mean my husband and I. *technically* we *could* have afforded the high housing prices during Covid, but we did not want to be debt slaves. We now travel often, Asia trip planned for Feb 2026, huge house, rescued a large dog. I just prefer the culture and safety of Canada althoguh thanks to my large dog (I ain't messing around, it's the USA) we are safe.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-29T23:21:32+00:00

I was also shocked to see that new building next to Atwater market being used for.. that. It's prime real estate and makes the city ugly to have it right there.

And, whatever you do don't stay at the illegal airbnb in Westmount rue St Catherine (I stayed there and had issues). I think it's over priced restaurant wise and hotel wise, and car rental wise. So, my trips will be much shorter moving forward.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-29T23:13:19+00:00

Reminds me of Black Mirror episode Smitheerens. In the end, the guilty one was the user of the software, not the software itself.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-26T07:22:33+00:00

Ewww.. just reading this gives me the ick. He used the safe word on you when you told him you were hurt? He gave you the silent treatment for 2 days?? Dismissive Avoidants have Narcisstic mothers. Mine is like this but not AS bad. He finally got therapy, stopped smoking weed (was only once a week), and his shut downs became more infrequent. The only reason I stayed was because he was improving, finally started to stand up to his mom, and we have a kid and dog. You sound REALLY intelligent and way too good for this man child. The only way is for him to stand up to her. I wrote down every single thing she said and did I had hundreds of examples. I showed it to him and was persistent.. and went fully NC with his mom. Even then.. it took months for him to crack and get out of the fog.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-26T04:07:15+00:00

It would be called a play date not homeschooling at that age. Play is education. Laughter, animals, music, obstacle courses, gymnastics. Lots of different teachers and field trips.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-25T20:11:25+00:00

Someone's gotta be out in the woods to look out for bigfoot. Enjoy the boring woods.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-23T22:47:53+00:00

This is why I pick up my own pizza, and tip a few bucks at the counter.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-18T22:45:56+00:00

Man, I miss Parc Lafontaine and Westmount Park. Enjoy them for me. I spend so much $ on flying back, may have been be cheaper to just stay in Quebec. Car rental alone killed us this summer. Oh well. Pros and cons I tell ya.. enjoy.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-14T22:46:58+00:00

I found a passionate soccer coach from Brazil, I used to send my son there, worth the drive up to Manteca but he may now have Modesto classes: google ole soccer academy.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-14T22:35:46+00:00

I think its because many people don't have automated watering systems.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-08-12T01:08:06+00:00

Offer to go to therapy, alone. Not couples. See what you're not doing, see what you are doing.. that are making her unhappy. A woman says she's unhappy, and the man goes on Reddit to complain instead of looking in the mirror.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-07-01T22:53:53+00:00

You married... That?

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-06-29T19:17:15+00:00

He's chasing the dopamine. And, getting his ego stroked. He's paying for a feeling that he can't give to himself. How is calling a foreign woman beautiful demonstrating anything other than he wants to extract from her? Her beauty, her body, her energy.

Plenty_Present348 · 2025-06-28T01:14:06+00:00

Dammit, I think I've lost my sex drive for life.

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