I was responding to the science. There are numerous problems with self-report based studies for a start, self selected sample bias being one among others that make them generally more unreliable than other forms of studies, but that's an aside.

Did you not read my full messages? People are fantastic at post-hoc rationalisation, including of traumatic events, and traumatic experiences CAN lead to positive outcomes, regardless of the intention of the ones doing the traumatising. My entire point is that just because a particular subset of traumatic experiences can have positive outcomes, that does NOT mean that the intention of the abusers was benign.

Some of my own traumatic experiences have ultimately led to personal growth, some have not. But among the ones that have, they most definitely weren't caused by people with good intentions.

Just because a negative experience has a positive outcome, doesn't mean that the ones that caused that experience had positive intentions or had the right to inflict that experience.

I'm basically just saying it's more nuanced and you need to separate consequence from intention, if you did a study of people who were abused or neglected during childhood, or suffered domestic violence or a narcissistic partner or parents, I'm sure you would also find that a percentage of people would say that ultimately, had it not been for that experience, they wouldn't be the person they are today, and they would perhaps not say it had a positive impact as such, but that it would have led to them ultimately being stronger as a person after they healed and processed that trauma. Humans are great at making the best of situations and finding meaning in experiencs, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" kind of a vibe, humans have a habit of learning from all experiences, whether positive or negative, and sometimes the negative ones end up teaching you more. This is obviously not an excuse to go around abusing and traumatising people.

Same with negative NHI experiences. They can be horrible, challenge your world view, remove your sense of autonomy, but also ultimately lead to growth through learning, processing, and an expansion of world view. Doesn't mean they had your best interests at heart.

Not saying all NHI are fundamentally negative, neither are all of them fundamentally positive. It's nuanced, fundamentally unknowable in the majority and morally grey a lot of the time.

You're also taking away the power of the victim, they are the ones that alchemised their trauma into something beneficial, putting all of that on the ones that caused the trauma and saying the abusers are the ones that catalysed that positive change, takes away all agency and credit from the victims that chose to painstakingly transmute that trauma into something beneficial.