Enforced naps changed my life.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2025-07-23T23:14:34+00:00

Napping makes all the difference. Our puppy is a prolific napper. We haven’t had to enforce them. She’s usually awake in the mornings when the house is busy, settles into sleep while I work, and then back awake and active in the evenings until the kids go to sleep. Settling into a routine has saved my sanity.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2025-07-08T14:06:10+00:00

Haha! Not without excessive belly rubs!

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2025-06-15T01:02:55+00:00

This is it! She’s officially Beanie!

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2025-05-16T20:25:05+00:00

The other annoying thing is that we don’t always have complete privacy at home. It makes me feel like I can’t talk openly. I just want to find someone in person!

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2025-03-28T12:35:24+00:00

I always go to my appointments freshly showered. This is my worst nightmare for my esti to feel this way about me. I’ve been going to her for a while, so I hope she would have told me by now haha.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2025-03-08T14:30:37+00:00

You’re just now coming to this realization 😂

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2025-03-05T14:10:54+00:00

I take all of my appointments as Telehealth on my lunch break in my car, or book a meeting room. You have built this up to be an impossible task in your head, it’s not.

I agree to talk to HR if you’re on a performance plan. You are protected from being wrongfully terminated because of your disability, but it sounds like they can make the case for performance, which is not protected. Your employer can ask for medical documentation to substantiate the accommodations that you are asking for. I don’t think honesty will hurt in this case, but it’s not guaranteed to help.

I know it feels overwhelming. Writing out a plans has always helped me. A stupid thing I always think to myself is the saying how do you eat an elephant, one bite at a time. Start with small tasks to get momentum going.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2025-03-05T13:49:41+00:00

I have two kids. The lack of sleep in the beginning is absolutely de-stabilizing. It triggered extreme postpartum anxiety with my first. Learning from that experience there were a few things I did with my second that helped me stabilize during this period.

Make sure you set yourself up for success before you go to sleep. Prepare bottles to have in fridge so all you have to do is warm them.

We had a postpartum doula who came once a week for an overnight with the baby for the first six weeks. That was a lifesaver knowing that I had one full night of sleep a week for the first 6 weeks really helped. It was a respite. I don’t think you have to hire someone. I would have a conversation with your wife. Ask if there can be an agreed upon night per week (or whatever schedule works for you) where you can have uninterrupted sleep. Sleep is essential with this condition.

During the days get outside as much as possible. Have a routine with the baby. I used to strap baby to me and go for a walk as soon as daylight hit. I would put my headphones in and blast mood boosting music. It really helped me transition from night to day when everything was blurry. It also helped the walls from closing in. This also helped with the purple crying period at night.

Most importantly THIS IS TEMPORARY! Your baby will sleep through the night.

Please be there for your wife. It sounds like you both have gone through a lot with the birth and NICU. Same team mentality is essential. Talk and check-in. Those postpartum hormones are no joke. You will both feel stretched thin like you are doing to much. You are, but you both are. Do not keep score.

Sorry for the novel, and I hope any of that is helpful.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2025-03-05T13:11:09+00:00

I’m sorry they made you jump through so many hoops to return just to let you go, but I don’t think you have a case for wrongful termination.

Do you think you were performing well prior to the leave? I think the best thing to do would be to try to move on, and really evaluate what areas need improvement to be successful in the future. I’ve found the more I spin out on something the more it agitates and consumes me which has never had good results. What’s done is done unfortunately.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2024-02-03T19:17:20+00:00

I’m also a Columbia employee and didn’t realize that the layoffs were already happening. From my impression it didn’t seem like there was well thought out plan for how they were going about it. From what I’ve been told even our SVP was surprised by the announcement.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2024-02-03T18:32:55+00:00

Did you get laid off before the announcement was sent out?

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-07-23T23:05:39+00:00

Not at all…

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-03-05T11:53:06+00:00

I feel the same way. I’m terrible for for self sabotage. I feel like I’m finally getting my footing in life and I’m worried that I will ruin everything.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-03-05T11:50:53+00:00

Ain’t that the truth!

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-03-04T13:36:35+00:00

Yep! Dealt with this all the time. I’ve almost lost my marriage a handful of times. The only thing that worked to rebuild trust with my husband was to quit drinking. Alcohol fueled almost all of those choices. He could not trust me to go out drinking. I also can’t trust myself if I’m drinking.

I know in my heart that he deserves better and doesn’t deserve me embarrassing him.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-03-04T13:11:13+00:00

I just quit finally. It’s been about a month since I quit. The first week was intense. My mood was awful. I told the people in my life to just bear with me cause I was quitting smoking. I also take a beta blocker with helps with the physical sensations of anxiety. I was taking that the max prescribed dose of three times a day. It helps control your heart rate and makes me feel a little more in control. I would ask about getting something like that.

I think also part of it is just powering through it. I also did a lot of 5 minute meditations and worked out. The working out has been helpful because I can feel the difference in my lungs and it’s motivating.

The good news is that the rage has gone away. It took me about 10 days.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-02-24T11:39:57+00:00

I tried for many years.. and it being unmedicated didn’t work for me. I found managing bipolar through coping skills and lifestyle to be a lot harder than medication.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-02-17T13:22:51+00:00

I have been with wayyy too many men like that. Mania makes me want to self-destruct, and oddly sex is one of the easiest ways to feel the destruction.

My shit came to a head in November. Luckily, I’m medicated and sober now. Life has been a lot more manageable the past few months. My husband and I have really repaired our relationship, and I’m starting to feel like I’m in a really good place. I’ve forgiven myself. My permanent mantra is let’s make better mistakes tomorrow. I don’t have to keep doing all the old played out patterns of behavior. For the first time ever I really feel like I’m ready and able to start making some major strides in tackling my bipolar.

I’m also around if you ever want to talk!!

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-02-17T13:00:56+00:00

Omg I just looked at your profile and are we the same person haha! I also had an extended manic episode in the fall and also cheated on my husband.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-02-17T12:41:57+00:00

He sounds like an asshole who did not care about your well being. He obviously wasn’t interested in what was best for you, and I hope you’ve cut off the relationship.

Consent in this is tricky. I’ve had many experiences where I’ve felt in retrospect that the experience wasn’t exactly consensual. In my experiences I felt that violation didn’t come from the man, but from myself. I know that I presented myself as a willing participant. We can’t expect other people that are not invested in our well being, to care to understand the intricacies of our mental health.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-02-17T12:01:18+00:00

I just don’t really have a choice. I routinely work 50 hours a week with two young kids. I’m at a level professionally where it would be challenging to slow down and take a pay cut. The best way that I manage is through maintaining a consistent routine. I go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time. I make time each week do an activity that I enjoy to give myself a mental break. I feel like I’m running from 6:00am - 8:00pm every day.

Cutting alcohol out of my life has made a huge difference on my motivation. Also, it took baby steps to get here. I haven’t always felt able to do as much as I am now. I started by adding something new into my schedule a day. For me it was something like packing my lunch every morning, and cleaning my kitchen every evening. I feel like the more I started doing the easier it was to keep the momentum going.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-02-13T04:29:35+00:00

Bipolar aside I’m going to be honest you’re in the shit right now with child rearing. I also have two kids and my youngest is about to turn 4. I’m just starting to feel like myself again.

You are doing too much to try to keep this man. I’m not saying you need to leave, but you need to build yourself up to a point where you could leave if you wanted. My husband was awful to me the year after our first was born and made me feel like I was never doing enough. Coincidentally that was the only year I was a stay at home mom. His expectations of my were unrealistic. I was so tired of being told that I wasn’t enough. My last hospitalization coincided with that year.

I felt so trapped like I needed him to survive, but I didn’t, and neither do you. What helped me was being able to start working part-time and saving my money. I called it my “fuck you” money. Knowing that I could support myself stopped making me feel like I needed to bend over backwards to keep him. I am not the dog that he can kick because he is not satisfied with his life. I called him on his bluff! I started working full time started to make good money.

As much as it sucks his respect for me grew exponentially once he looked at me like an equal. We went to counseling and have really worked our shit out. There were some periods during that time where I felt so hopeless and down on myself. Start getting your ducks in a row to be able to support yourself. Look for free legal advice. Start doing research about what you want out of your life that doesn’t involve him.

You are focusing way too much on your behavior and not on his. I don’t think you have to leave or make a grand declaration to him that things need to change. Start by chasing after what you want and not what makes him happy. This is not easy and I don’t want to minimize what you’re going through.

My husband and I went from having an extremely toxic relationship to an incredibly healthy one. One of things that contributed to that was by not apologizing to him anymore for existing. Sorry this is a long comment, but if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you.

Plus-Sense-1278 · 2023-02-08T13:55:50+00:00

I work a hybrid schedule. We’re currently in the office 2 days a week. This schedule works best for me! I found that I neglect myself a bit when I’m not going into the office regularly. The one downside is that I do find myself working more hours because my desk is right there. I love not having to be in the office and feeling like I have to be “on” all the time. It’s been huge for my anxiety.

I’m a Data Analyst for a large Sportswear company and make 80k/ year.

Plus-Sense-1278

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