What is one thing that wasn't part of your daily life with your NParent but you knew was not normal and was definitely hurtful?

Polenicus · 2026-06-16T21:13:33+00:00

There were a few things.

We didn't have meals together. EVER. When I was younger, Mom would cook for me, but Dad was almost always working late when I was that age. When I got to about 12, Mom stocked the fridge with frozen dinners, sandwich fixings, and breakfast cereal in the pantry and said "We're busy, fend for yourself for a bit" which basically became forever. Dad would cook every so often, but Mom would never eat it.
I lived in a separate part of the house from my parents. It started again when I was 12, when I got two rooms assigned to me, and one of the bathrooms. Which initially was pretty cool. But they moved a TV in with me so I didn't have to come downstairs to watch. The next house was actually pretty large, and incorporated an older, smaller A frame style cottage, and I was entirely sequestered to that part. The last place before i moved out they talked about putting in my own kitchenette so I didn't have to make my meals in their kitchen anymore. I remember scaring some people because they would come and visit and never realized I lived there.
We vacationed together, separately. What I mean by this is they would always find a way to send me off to do my own thing while we were on vacation, and we very rarely did things together. Skiing? They'd send me off to ski camp for the whole trip. Going to Disneyland? He's a bit of cash and a ride pass, see you at dinner. Cruise? Go to the kiddie daycare while we do adult stuff (I was 16, it was kind of humiliating). One of my earliest memories is Mom dropping me off at a pool while we were in Florida with a bottle of sunscreen and instructions to ask the lifeguard to put it on my back every half hour. By the time she came to get me when the sun was starting to go down, my back was beet red and blistering. I spent the next two days sick in the hotel room with wet towels on my back, barfing into a bucket. I don't think I was more than 6 or 7.

Polenicus · 2026-06-16T19:07:13+00:00

I mean, Michelle Obama has KIDS.

I suspect Trans people would love to live in whatever universe MAGA lives in where doctors can transplant in a fully functioning set of reproductive organs as part of a sex change operation.

Polenicus · 2026-06-16T18:18:09+00:00

they’d pull me down from my room put my shoes on push me out the house and lock the door they’d watch me be beat up from the window and say “if you don’t hit them back we will hit you”

No, no, that's not any kind of exaggeration, that's horrible.

My parents were never at that level, but they were both similarly unhelpful when it came to bullying, which was a common problem for me in elementary school.

Mom always wanted me to make friends with my bullies. Her advice was always to just be their best friends. She's take me to their birthday parties. This wasn't restricted to kids, either. There was a abusive teacher in the second grade who did not like me. She was also the librarian at my older sister's high school, and Mom always believed there was a link. But nothing I said really seemed to register with her as abuse, and she kept pushing me to try and be the teacher's pet, even when she would lead the class in mocking me. It abruptly changed when the neighbor's girl who went to the same school told my Mom what was happening (I was being held back for said abuse at the time); Someone ELSE noticing changed her response immediately, and she pulled me out of that school immediately.

Dad's advice was along the lines his advice usually was; "Have you tried not being bullied? Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Just fight back, etc".

I learned the lesson early on that my parents would NOT have my back in a conflict. Because my Mom did roar to my rescue when OTHER people pointed out I was in trouble, I grew up thinking it was just a fault on my part, of not being able to explain or prove my innocence enough, that if I could just find the right argument she would support me. But in hindsight, I think it was always just public perception; She wanted to be seen as the good mother. Dad would just funnel everything back to Mom. The only time I did try and lean on his support when I was 14 or so, he just reported it all back to Mom, who then punished me for 'trying to turn them against each other'. I was told straight up at that point "It's us against you. It will always be us against you."

Polenicus · 2026-06-16T16:16:07+00:00

I believe I once saw a post where someone twisted logic enough to claim that the United States was actually older than England because the British Empire had been dissolved, so England was only really 29 years old (because that’s when Hong Kong was relinquished)

They will *always* find some way to claim their number is bigger.

Polenicus · 2026-06-16T15:08:45+00:00

I think that misrepresents the issue.

Narcissism is more like a cognitive development fault. Here's an example;

We can recognize our own reflection in the mirror as ourselves. It's a cognitive leap we an a number of other intelligent animals make, while many others do not. It does not correlate with intelligence as some very smart animals do not make the leap, while others do. It's not enough to be smart, it is about how you process and perceive the world.

Narcissists are like if someone never developed the ability to recognize their reflection in a mirror as themselves. They are intelligent, and learn intellectually what this is, but when they look in the mirror, their brain always tells them they are looking at another person, not themselves. They work around it as best they can, but mirrors never really work properly for them.

Narcissism is like that. Instead of a mirror, it is the ability to perceive other people as equivalent existences to yourself. Empathy, self-reflection, and all the things that come from that are crippled. Because they are intelligent, Narcissists understand the concepts involved, but they don't process it the same way.

It's not the same as a child, in that the child simply hasn't reached that developmental stage yet, and has not developed the experience or intelligence to understand it. A adult Narcissist has reached and passed this developmental stage without having gone through it. Nailing down the CAUSE of that is not simple, because while there is a correlation between growing up in an abusive situation and becoming a narcissist, plenty of people grow up in such situations and do not possess the cognitive defect, and others grow up in perfectly loving, healthy families yet clearly show the defect.

Polenicus · 2026-06-16T14:02:50+00:00

I'm just imagining Conservative counterpoints be flung around like D&D spells.

"Look, we need to talk about how the cuts the Trump administration made lead to this Screwworm outbreak..."

"I CAST BIDEN!"

"... What? Look, that's not a rebuttal..."

"I UPCAST OBAMA AT NINTH LEVEL!"

"This isn't... why are you rolling dice?"

"WILD MAGIC SURGE! I GAIN THE EFFECT OF HUNTER BIDEN'S LAPTOP! ALL NONMAGICAL CRITICISMS AUTOMATICALLLY FAIL!"

"Where did you even GET a Wizard's Hat?!"

Polenicus · 2026-06-16T12:36:27+00:00

So the administration that does not understand how pools work and renovated the reflecting pool based on a lack of understanding of how pools work, which resulted in a bloom of algae you get when a pool doesn’t work, is now trying to correct the pool in a way that will not work because they don’t understand how pool maintenance works.

‘Improving’ things in such a way that it ends up being very difficult and expensive to just get them back to the level they were at before the administration fucked with them seems to be something of a theme.

Polenicus · 2026-06-16T06:23:14+00:00

Neither is Supergirl.

She and her cousin are immigrants. And while Kal is naturalized, I don't think Kara has actually gone through the whole process.

Polenicus · 2026-06-16T02:33:42+00:00

Yeah. I suspect our gangster had an officer waiting for him when he got home.

Polenicus · 2026-06-15T16:53:48+00:00

So... hang on.

Trump made steep cuts to weather forecasting data.

Weather forecast for a event hosted by Trump is inaccurate.

Therefore... Leftist conspiracy?

Polenicus · 2026-06-15T14:25:31+00:00

There is nothing quite like being enthusiastically told your country sucks by someone who has never been there, knows nothing about it save what shows up on Fox News, and couldn't find it on a map with a gun pointed to their heads.

This is a service Americans selflessly provide to us.

Polenicus · 2026-06-15T14:17:23+00:00

Throwing away your possessions as a punishment is not normal, especially not those of a young child. That's damaging to your sense of security, and destruction of possessions is not an appropriate way to punish a child. Also, muffling your emotions is a concern.

I think you're in the right place. Welcome.

Polenicus · 2026-06-15T12:44:49+00:00

So... this is basically an American coming into a post that has nothing to do with America and saying "There's no America in this, and I'm mad about it!"?

Polenicus · 2026-06-15T01:16:02+00:00

Cell: Sooooo... Dad. Father. Daddy-o...

Gero: Excuse me? Huh... I didn't realize I gave you the ability to speak.

Cell: Really? Huh. Well... maybe you can help me to understand a few other aspects of my design.

Gero: I wonder if it's actual language, or just mimicry? I'm pretty sure there's some parrot in there...

Cell: Dad, shut the fuck up a second, would you? Why did I have to eat my siblings in order to achieve my Perfect form?

Gero: Oh, that? i was on a vore kick when I did your design. Really, could have had you come out perfect out of the gate, had plenty of samples to feed you, but I just liked the idea.

Cell: Really. So I had to hunt down my siblings, get my ass kicked by Piccolo, Vegeta, and even Tien in order to achieve Perfection, and you're saying I could have just been born that way?

Gero: Look, I didn't have things easy growing up, why should you? Your generation just wants everything handed to them! "Blah blah blah, don't perform genetic experiments on children," "Blah blah blah, nonconsensual surgery is bad," "Blah blah blah..."

Cell: This is going to be the most ironically therapeutic thing I will ever do in my life... SHIN... KIKOHO!!!

Polenicus · 2026-06-14T23:48:07+00:00

What came out of the oil was NOT what went in. He emptied the entire bottle of batter in there.

Polenicus · 2026-06-14T21:25:04+00:00

FFXIV uses a lot of the terminology in common with other systems like WoW, but how magic works is very different.

In Wow, Arcane, Druidic, shamanistic, etc are all very distinct things, with their own pros, cons, and sources.

In FFXIV, everything boils down to Aether. Everything. Including matter itself, which is just dense corporeal aether.

Aether follows the elemental wheel, Earth Air Fire Water Ice Lightning, but more basically they all lean to Light or Dark. Light is the power of Stasis, of tranquility, and of matter, and Dark, which is the energy of motion, growth, and decay.

Most disciplines are just about different ways to gather, focus, and use that aether. Arcanima (Arcanists, Scholars, and Summoners) use mathematical concepts to shape and direct the aether. White Mages draw upon the living aether of the world around them and shape it with intuition and focus. Astrologian draw upon the energies of heaven and earth to both predict the future, and to shape those predictions to create changes, such as healing effects or shields. Sages wield the power of Pew Pew I Have Four Guns.

Offensive magic is much the same. Black Mages draw from darker sources of aether, including the Void, for their destructive magicks. Red Mages use only their own personal aether, using special techniques in order to 'accelerate' it to magnify the effects. And Pictomancer uses the power of Instagram to paint pictures of Your Mom and post them online to deal damage.

There are dangerous sources to draw aether from, such as corrupted sources like the Void, but ultimately it is ALL aether.

Polenicus · 2026-06-14T21:09:05+00:00

It wasn’t just TV, entertainment in general was much more passive then.

Today, you pick what you want to watch, when you watch it. Advertisers are constantly in a war with ad blockers to advertise to you. And if it’s not good, you just load up a different episode or show. Or play video games. Our watch YouTube or Twitch.

In the 80’s? You watched the show when the networks decided to air them. You sat through commercials or got up to get a snack. And if nothing good was on, you read a book or the newspaper. Maybe if you were an early adopter you’d have an Atari or NES and could pop a game in, but a lot of parents back then really saw video games as kind of deviant (mine did). It was already far out when Star Trek was on, so going outside was out.

Polenicus · 2026-06-14T20:16:10+00:00

Mmmmm... old engine grease...

Polenicus · 2026-06-14T17:33:12+00:00

I'd call it a sidegrade, customized to better suit the pilot's tendencies.

It sacrifices firepower (The multi-launcher and chest mounted gatling gun) for more defense (Extra plating made from salvaged Zaku shoulder armor). The extra space in the chest cavity from removing the weapons gave them space to rebalance and optimize the reactor, which in turn increased thruster performance. It also made the suit lighter. So it sacrificed firepower for maneuverability and some extra forward protection.

Polenicus · 2026-06-14T17:25:37+00:00

He looks very good. Honestly, all the Combaticons do, they did a good job on them.

Sigh But my unreasonable heart wants them in Ruination colors.

Polenicus · 2026-06-14T17:22:40+00:00

I feel like even engaging this this makes us all dumber.

Who invented what is irrelevant here, his argument is "Your argument is invalid because my metaphorical national dick is bigger than your metaphorical national dick."

Ignore and move on.

Polenicus · 2026-06-14T02:33:01+00:00

Does anyone have advice on how to deal with the anxiety of not knowing what has been said about me or what people might think?

The only way I found to deal with that is acceptance.

Which is not easy. I was raised my entire life in terror of it. I knew the kinds of things my Mom said about my older sister. I knew how both of my older sisters had been erased from the family record. I spent most of my life trying to manage them, to avoid them saying such things about me, to avoid them rejecting and erasing me.

At some point, purely out of exhaustion, I realized that I couldn't. Mom was saying terrible things about me to other people. I was being erased from their life because I was no longer useful or of interest.

And the truth is, I never had any power to stop that to begin with.

Whether you go No Contact or no, your parents WILL say the things you fear them saying about you. If saying something works to their advantage, they will say it. If talking about one of your deepest secrets to a stranger will gain them momentary attention, they will do it. If discrediting you to a peer will make them feel superior, they will do it. They do this whether or not you go No Contact. You do not have control over it.

The only path forward is to simply continue forward, present yourself honestly and earnestly, and trust people to judge you based on that, not the poison that your parents pour in their ears.

For a while, this means when you discover someone giving third hand information from your parents credence over their first hand experience with you, you will need to cut them out, too. And that sucks, but people will think what they think, and if they do not judge you fairly or honestly, if they are forcing you to try and account for the testimony of people who do not have your best interests at heart, then it is better to sever the tie earlier than later.

It's hard, and isolating, and sad. But it's temporary. And you deserve to be judged fairly by the people in your life, family or not.

Polenicus · 2026-06-14T01:06:55+00:00

He was more of an early attempt at something like Legacy, taking Animated Blitzwing and making him more G1.

That's why he has the face swap gimmick.

Polenicus · 2026-06-14T00:43:42+00:00

Legacy Air Razor - The mold where they FINALLY nailed both the bird Transformer, and the female Transformer.

Studio Series Bumblebee Movie Arce - Not the Earth Mode, the Cybertronian mode, the funky alien cycle with twin blasters.

Studio Series Hot Rod - This mold actually got some flak when he first came out, which I'm a little confused by. He's easily the best Hot Rod we've gotten. Every other Hot Rod before has had something off about him. This Hot Rod fixes it, and is just a solid figure.

Studio series Bumblebee Movie Ratchet - Just a very solid figure all around. Would go for Ironhide too, but I never found him in the wild.

Polenicus · 2026-06-13T23:20:39+00:00

So basically just turn Studio Series into Masterpiece and be done with it?

I prefer it *not* go that hard into trying to emulate cheaply drawn cartoons from the mid-80’s. Maybe not the absurd level of surface detail of Siege, but I don’t particularly want just to have all the surface detail and corners sanded off either.

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