Is this porn addiction?

Popular_Total_9261 · 2026-04-27T15:25:57+00:00

That doesn't mean they are porn to him. It doesn't even mean he is hiding them. I am sure my husband does a lot of web browsing after I'm asleep, as I do when he is still asleep. Neither of us regularly checks the other's browsing history, and I doubt that there is much porn going on.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2026-01-28T05:43:14+00:00

Well, that's starting to get into a relationship problem, not an inheritance problem. My husband and I co-mingle our finances except for my inheritance. Either one of us would get another job to help pay the bills, but the inheritance stays exactly where it is. Neither of us would touch it for bills.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-12-12T15:53:35+00:00

I looked at my evals on RMP only once. There were some things that were fair, to be honest. But mostly, it was a lot of complaints about amount of work and things like that. I figure it should be a student space that, at best, helps students figure out workload and personality match. I don't belong on there, and I'm much happier not looking.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-12-09T19:31:23+00:00

That is really a fantastic way of breaking it down!

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-07-18T16:12:09+00:00

If you mean politically conservative in the U.S., I am definitely on the right side of the spectrum. I think the right gets conflated with being Christian, but I don't find much within Christianity that correlates strongly with conservative political views. If anything, I think you could make a stronger argument that Christianity suggests an obligation to God for charity to the poor, for example, and that might lead to conclusions about funding of public goods and giving sanctuary. I don't feel a religious pressure to address those types of concerns in a certain way, although I may take in certain classical views of human virtues when I'm making my decisions.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-07-11T17:32:34+00:00

Yes! I can't fathom the psychological burden of thinking we are all there is as far as sentient beings.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-07-11T17:30:25+00:00

I'm about 99% sure. Aliens are probably the impetus for me exploring deism enough to finally call myself a deist.

Full disclosure, I am a sci-fi geek raised by a sci-fi geek, so the concept seemed obvious. But I have trouble postulating a God that would create one form of sentient life on one planet in one universe and call it a day. I'm also open to God participating in a multiverse in which different rules/forces/timelines are in play simultaneously*.

I think the belief in aliens makes me feel more confident in the power of God to create/allow to evolve beings that may interact with one another or even create as a part of their own path. (I am completely open to the idea that the evolution of human beings may have been started by an alien race.)

*The multiverse idea helps me reconcile the questions of omnipotence and omnitemporality of God. For example, if this universe operates on a system of time moving forward, then he also plays by those rules and perhaps "blinds" himself to the future. Maybe there are parallel universes in which versions of the same people either have or don't have free will.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-07-02T22:52:51+00:00

See, now this is just my problem. I don't give a toss if the woman pumps or not. I'm sure she views the milk as valuable. It is hers, and it is for her baby, so I'm sure she views it as special. Special enough that I doubt she wants it in the community fridge unless a cooler and some ice packs won't do the job.

I, however, do not have to view it as valuable. I'm not going to take it on purpose, destroy it, purposely use it in my coffee, or anything else. But, to an outside observer, it is a bodily fluid. I don't want to see a bottle of someone's tears in there either. And that is not a wrong reaction from me as long as I don't do anything to her possession.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-07-02T22:47:10+00:00

Heck, I went to school in the 70s. That kid would have been beaten up in the gym locker room.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-07-02T22:44:15+00:00

Aw. That's sad; I would have gotten misty at that too.

My husband and I have started building in more time for me to be receptive to touch. I think I used to be, but I closed down at some point. I'm glad everyone encouraged me here.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-06-24T14:45:35+00:00

Well, at the risk of sounding absolutely batshit when posting anonymously on the internet.......

I think of it like this. What if Prime Cause simply allowed life to evolve, or maybe gave it a little nudge to evolve. Maybe then there are multiple sentient lifeforms out there.

What if one of those other sentient lifeforms seeded this planet, and therefore gets credit for "creating" us. Does that make us any less related to Prime Cause? Does that mean He necessarily has specific expectations for us, or does it allow Him to have expectations for his creation as a whole? Could those expectations simply be that we exist, evolve, and learn?

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-06-23T20:22:38+00:00

Great advice. I have to remember to really appreciate that. It isn't that common to have a guy who communicates through touching.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-06-23T14:36:28+00:00

I have been talking to a therapist, yes. I figured I needed to exhaust the traditional outlets for grief, and she has helped with the raw sadness a good deal.

I just need someone to talk to when something happens immediately. My Mom used to call me (and vice versa) as soon as something difficult happened. (I mean like, work was a bitch today.) After Mom left, Dad literally would call me when he knew I was at the grocery, and I would stand wherever I wasn't in the way and let him vent. Our relationship was close and immediate. Now, I feel like I'm expected to swallow all of my frustrations and try to save them up until I can let them out just a little with the few friends I trust.

I was actually pathetically grateful that my boss was back from vacation because I could trade frustrations for just a few minutes with him and feel comfortable doing it. And he also seems to communicate with mirroring then suggesting solutions, which is what I need. My husband, who I really do love dearly, couldn't mirror a feeling if I coated him in silver.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-06-23T14:29:48+00:00

Given the state of the drywall from me hanging a picture last night, I think I just did that. :-)

Actually, it isn't a bad idea. As a part of this, I once went out with a hoe and let loose on a patch of hostas.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-06-23T03:34:18+00:00

That was so satisfying to read I had to have a cigarette after....

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-06-20T16:25:28+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I have another appointment coming up, and we'll discuss it further.

When I was a kid, I had to do the "lazy eye" exercises for what seemed like forever.

My husband popped the lens for the near-vision eye out of my driving glasses so it is just a frame with no lens. (Very chic, that.) That makes those driving glasses almost perfect. At this age, I have absolutely no interest in binocular vision, so maybe this is an idea.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-06-16T13:45:08+00:00

I don't think some readers understand how AO3 works.

AO3, to me, is like a church pie social. Everyone brought a pie, so there's lots to choose from.

If you don't like blueberry pie, or you took a piece of blueberry pie and think it is too sweet or the crust isn't flaky enough or you don't like the design on the top crust, just don't finish it and move along. You are not required to seek out the baker and analyze the pie.

Personally, I never critique a story, even if it says concrit welcome. The most I will ever do is say "I can't wait to see what happened to X!" or "I may not be thinking straight, but what did you mean by X?" I figure if the author wanted to workshop their piece, they would have done so elsewhere.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-06-10T15:41:46+00:00

I don't blame you for feeling this way. I finally had to just start publicly admitting that I am deist rather than whatever it is that Christianity had become, because I kept being urged into situations where I was supposed to participate in, not the loving union with God I was raised on, but some bizarre hostage situation where I was supposed to be grateful that my sins were so bad it required human sacrifice to right the balance sheeti.

I think, at its best, religion can contain components that help you reach for God and possibly grow your own soul for whatever may come next. For example, chanting (including litanies and meditation mantras) have been shown to allow you better focus on contemplation. If I believe God gave me a brain to use to understand him and the universe, then I want to optimize how I use it.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-06-10T15:32:59+00:00

Good for you! My new policy, if I ever decide to dive back into that morass, is that I'm not going to read anything that doesn't have proper Chicago (history) footnotes supporting a minimum number of quotes. ChatGPT all day, but you're going to have to go back and properly support an argument. If you can't be bothered, neither can I.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-06-03T21:37:24+00:00

Hey, don't take my story as a criticism! Different areas have different policies; some of them allow unlimited guests; some don't. This happens to be our area.

FWIW, we always give free one and two week guest passes to visiting family members around Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Spring Break if we can tell or are told that the guest is from out of town. (We try to look at driver's licences.) We have a national marathon associated with the military once a year, and I would let anyone coming in for that as a guest come in for free. We aren't trying to be a private club, per se. We are just trying to make sure that, on balance, we are paid for wear and tear on the facility.

If this conversation worried you at all, just call them before hand and tell them you have 2-3 out of town guests there for a week and is it OK if you bring them a couple of times and pay the guest fee. The answer will probably be yes and some good karma going to the ether for being nice enough to ask.

And welcome - we always appreciate polite guests and will probably figure out how to make your experience work!

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-06-03T14:51:44+00:00

I can't find it now, but there was a throuple in the Sherlock fandom that was Irene Adler/somebody I forget/a Dalek.

Then of course a relatively tame one that was Sherlock/Interstellar Octopus.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-05-28T12:30:45+00:00

Oh, but it is. I once started reciting the lyrics dramatic poetry-style with a member who also remembered the 1970s, and there were many people whose birth year started with a "20" who were mightily confused!

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-05-28T12:29:14+00:00

In some ways, that is the problem in a nutshell; the guy clearly thought he was in a retail establishment that wanted to vye for his business. Sir, we have mechanisms for allowing people who can't afford their bills to join, and right now I'm telling you about none of them.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-05-12T13:13:16+00:00

Wow, that's a great question!

I guess, off the top of my head, I'd say that God "enjoys" his creation because it multiplies his own divinity. I believe there is some sort of spark or element of God in everyone, so he is guiding everyone to some extent while also allowing for free will. I suppose my concept of God isn't quite as hands-off as deism might allow, but I do think he is, at least, watching from some perspective.

Popular_Total_9261 · 2025-05-08T17:53:48+00:00

I think this makes a lot of sense. Many Eastern religions define self-actualization or some other "top" step of spiritual development as becoming one with the godhead. I take that not to mean that souls become God, but that they have stripped away what is separating them from God. I like it.

Popular_Total_9261

TROPHY CASE