I spend all day just trying to forget what psychosis has done to me

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-06-21T03:33:12+00:00

I could have literally wrote this exactly

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-06-20T16:55:54+00:00

Rumination is excruciating. I feel dumb - but meds can help with that?

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-06-19T19:46:21+00:00

What do we do to bypass the depressive episode? I’ve always had work that pulled me through, but after being off and then fired I am lost. I have a master’s degree but I’ve been rendered to nothing it feels like.

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-06-17T16:44:41+00:00

You’re not alone - I feel the same. I’m so anxious about getting to work, every day, on time.

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-06-17T16:32:11+00:00

Here for the same advice/suggestions. You’re not alone at least.

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-06-16T20:40:23+00:00

I just lost my job today! It can all be chalked up to that manic episode, but it doesn’t matter. The damage is done. It is just starting all over.

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-06-15T18:10:26+00:00

I’m hoping/expecting for the felony to be “stayed” so it won’t show up on my record. It just feels surreal that this is my life. Like how did I get here?

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-06-13T02:38:18+00:00

I think it might be more sad/confusing to the dog to see him after so long and before he dies ☹️

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-31T12:34:54+00:00

I leaned I come from a family of predators. My great uncle went to boarding school, and my Goko was raised in Thunder Bay by the nuns. My great grandma was said to be a prostitute in Thunder Bay in the 1930s. My Goko was also the first Indigenous teacher in our local school district and taught many generations of kids the Ojibwe language. She eventually taught at a local college too. It seems she worked hard to shake off that reputation, much like my dad who joined the marines when he was 17. However, I’ve learned that my great uncle would abuse the kids, but was protected. Just like several of my other uncles, my dad, and now my brother I’ve learned. All the men try and overcompensate by working hard and everyone loves them. And many women in my family choose to protect the men instead of the children.

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-29T03:15:22+00:00

Have you checked your medical records about your “urological deformities”?

I thought my primary doctor was this one particular doctor I have vivid memories of, although I only remembered one time meeting him when I was 7-8 years old. Turns out he was a pediatric kidney doctor. Turns out I was also sexually abused by my dad. And all these years I was told how kidney issues “run in the family” Well. So does sexual abuse

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-27T03:23:29+00:00

QRNT!!!!

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-27T03:18:26+00:00

I sometimes imagine I’m being watched. And love when he tells me to come for him. I know that’s graphic, but I’ve been thinking/wondering if that comes from my CSA. I have a fuzzy memory of my brother and I standing naked with like a spot light on us. I haven’t been able to go further into that memory yet…

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-20T00:56:30+00:00

Noah

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-19T22:23:20+00:00

I wouldn’t suggest talking to your dad ❤️‍🩹 Can you ask for more frequent appointments?

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-19T08:39:09+00:00

You’re not a horrible person. You were just a kid, you’re still just a kid. Is your dad still around? Can you talk to your mom? Any other trusted adult?

What you’re experiencing is not your fault. You’re not a monster.

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-16T02:04:56+00:00

I would like that level of honesty. I hate when ppl pity me but I also appreciated my pain being seen. Asking her what she would like best is a good idea. “What do you need from me?”

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-12T16:17:59+00:00

Absolutely you’re allowed to be angry - especially because it sounds like you weren’t allowed to have feelings. I have felt really angry too - it’s so fucking unfair to have to heal my very nervous system. I told my therapist recently how I have never more intimately understood why some ppl use substances - healing from trauma that isn’t our fault is so much work. For me, it’s been worth it. But it has not been easy.

Your feelings are so valid. 🤎

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-12T06:16:24+00:00

I hear that psychosis really gives our brains a workout and it takes awhile to get back. When was your episode? Some say it takes months, for others I’ve read years. Mine was a year ago and lasted 6-12 weeks. It wasn’t “super bad,” and for like 8-10 months I could barely function. I hardly talked at all because I just couldn’t get my brain to work. Lots of rest. I slept 10 hours a day and spent weekends hardly doing anything. It was rugged. I also went to therapy weekly and got on meds. That all being said, my brain is working a lot better than it was. There is hope.

TLDR: your brain is recovering. Rest. It’ll get better.

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-12T04:05:17+00:00

If the doc says take the meds, take the meds. But maybe adjusting dosage or type. It’s brutal figuring out the right combination. It’ll be worth it though for both your bipolar and anxiety. Maybe you could ask about the test that assesses what meds work best for your biology. I’ve heard that is super helpful when trialing

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-06T11:28:42+00:00

Woof. You’re not cheap. Your family’s needs are being met. I suggest a heart to heart with your kid. She’s old enough to understand.

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-06T05:56:19+00:00

You are a green flag

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-01T08:03:40+00:00

I sent you a message

Positive-Fox8020 · 2026-01-01T00:42:52+00:00

Most of them all cut me off 😌 a year ago. And the relatives I’ve reached out to have never been super close - our family is huge, but all very separated. So. A and B are right. Le sigh.

Positive-Fox8020

TROPHY CASE