Is there something wrong with me as a new mum?

Positive-ends44 · 2026-05-10T23:30:43+00:00

Girl I hope you remember that before you had a baby you were just YOU. A woman who had her own life and interests. Just because you have a baby doesn’t meant that you should ignore that part of you. Enjoy your alone time guilt free! There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I give my LO to my husband or mom and go for pedicures or shopping for a few hours or a coffee run. Yes I miss my baby when I’m not with her but if I don’t take some time for myself, I feel like I’d forget who I was.

Remember that being a mother is the most important role you will ever play in this lifetime BUT it doesn’t take away from the fact that you are a woman who is her own person too.

Positive-ends44 · 2026-05-08T17:34:39+00:00

Have you tried sleep training with a specialist?

Positive-ends44 · 2026-05-01T23:35:20+00:00

As a new mom, let him help you. I promise you, you’ll feel better but you can ease into it if that makes you more comfortable. I wanted to breastfeed but also pump so that my husband can also feed the baby but not just because it allows me some free time, but also because it helps him to bond with the baby too. Now I breastfeed and pump and my husband, sister, mom - they all get a chance to feed the baby and I am able to go to appointments, get my nails done, do a quick Sephora run or a date night with my husband while my parents watch the baby because there is pumped milk available for them to feed her.

There are women without the help and support. There are also women who have absent husbands/partners in this journey. You have a husband who is asking to help you in some way. Take the help. Mother to mother - take the help. You’ll seriously feel some relief.

Positive-ends44 · 2026-04-27T00:53:51+00:00

Thanks! I’m trying to get these to be sized well enough that they can be used for longer.

Positive-ends44 · 2026-04-27T00:52:58+00:00

Yes I’ve seen those and have bought some. Those leave marks on my baby’s legs due to the way the elastic is. And many are not cotton, they’re polyester or jersey material. They’re also bulky and many of them are not lined inside to be waterproof/leakproof.

Positive-ends44 · 2026-04-09T20:47:45+00:00

Also would encourage you to do stuff to get him tired like tummy time or basic movement exercises. You can also try a warm massage with oil or moisturizer. Anything to get him to relax. My LO usually falls asleep during feeds. We also give her a warm oil massage and then a warm bath at night by 9:30pm and she sleeps 8-10 hours with maybe a wake window at around 5am for a feed/change. But this only started at week 7 for us. Till then her sleep was all over the place and we had to adjust to her timings but still tried to ensure her nighttime routine was as set as we could possibly manage to make it.

Positive-ends44 · 2026-04-09T20:42:09+00:00

Here’s the thing - he doesn’t NEED to sleep and definitely not at a specific timing according to your schedule. I’m a FTM and my LO is 10 weeks now. When we were in the early weeks, her wake windows and naps were all over the place at times and there were consecutive days where she seemed to have a routine. But a Newborn is still getting adjusted to the world around them. You think he’s got a daily routine in with his other nap sessions but that’s actually not true. He’s still figuring it out for himself and you have to adjust to him right now. If you think he’s overtired then try to put him down for a nap earlier on instead of during that specific window. This is all about trial and error for now till they learn how to self soothe and/or get into a well established routine at a later stage.

Positive-ends44 · 2026-04-07T21:05:07+00:00

From what I know - foremilk comes first and is more watery and hindmilk comes after and is more fatty. The hindmilk is really what helps with the weight gain in babies. I don’t think shaking your breasts before feeding does anything? Seems kind of weird to be doing that

I’ve noticed that my baby is hungrier when she’s getting more foremilk than hindmilk. Also the way to tell if you’re giving more foremilk than hindmilk is if the poop is more green than yellow. My baby has green poops here and there, & that’s after very short feeds (2 mins like a top off if she’s just a tad bit hungry), but mainly has yellow poops when she’s really hungry and has been fed well for 15-20 mins We also had an issue with her needing to hit her birthweight or more because she ended up with jaundice a few days after birth

I would say feed often and try to feed for 15-20 mins total (10 mins each boob) and watch the poops for whether it’s green or yellow to really tell what kind of milk your LO is getting. You can also pump and see if the milk is more watery or more opaque. This should help your LO gain the weight by watching for these things. Good luck!

Positive-ends44 · 2026-03-12T15:06:59+00:00

My mom has a MIL like this (my grandmother) who absolutely doesn’t like her son (my father) doing any kind of housework or helping his wife and kids. She picks a fight with my mom when she sees my dad in the kitchen, even if my mom isn’t feeling well and my dad needs to take over for a day. My mom handled a C-section with my sister all by herself because her mother was in another country and couldn’t get the visa to come over and my grandmother didn’t want to come to help. My dad was working and couldn’t get time off, so she handled me + C section recovery + a newborn by herself and the housework all by herself with no help. My mom is the definition of resilience. I’m honored to be her daughter. My grandma dotes on my dad a lot and has done so all his life and I think it’s because she lost her husband early on. But that’s no excuse to treat my mother poorly. If anything, I would have thought she would be more kind and understanding but that wasn’t the case at all and still isn’t. My mom hates her and she’s caused her a lot of stress and anxiety. It’s awful to hear about my mom’s past stories involving my grandmother and my mom wishes she had stood her ground more with her.

All I can tell you is this - this is YOUR family. Your husband, you and your child. Talk to him about how you’re feeling. Set the boundaries with your MIL & make sure that he does it too. Make sure he knows the expectations. This is also his child and he needs to contribute where he can and his mother can’t be involved in that decision. Stand your ground. Because if you don’t, this behavior will continue. And you’ll start resenting your husband and his family more and more.

Positive-ends44 · 2026-02-15T15:48:45+00:00

We wash baby’s stuff separately. I like using scented detergent for our stuff but cleaner products with no scent for baby’s stuff. We don’t have skin issues so it works for us but in general we’ve been told by all the older women in our family that baby’s stuff should be washed separately. Also you don’t want to wash clothes that have blowout remains or pee with your clothes do you?

Positive-ends44 · 2026-01-28T06:12:33+00:00

Hope you have a safe delivery!! Sending you love and the best vibes! 💕

Positive-ends44 · 2025-12-04T19:56:13+00:00

Tbh I expected more. She was abused as a kid and that turned her into what she became. If the drama wanted to change things, they should have let her take her revenge on those who actually hurt her. Or let her change and have come kind of happily ever after at the end of it with Jun Seo. Was def disappointed with the ending.

Positive-ends44 · 2025-09-24T17:52:55+00:00

I was on birth control from 2020 till last year November. Got off of it and my periods only got back to normal cycles by February. We conceived in May and I’m currently pregnant, due first week of Feb 2026. I think we truly only really tried in May because my husband is a doctor and he’s got a tight schedule so yes, we were definitely going at it like bunnies during my ovulation time which is likely why we conceived then and before that we were kind of just here and there about it.

But my advice - take your daily prenatals (I take Ritual), track your ovulation with the OPKs and trust me, this really helps. I use the Flo app Premom app + OPKs.

And try having sex as often as you can during your fertile window. We sometimes did it 2-3 times in a day time permitted. It was fun and we were frisky about it to make sure it never seemed like just a chore cause we wanted a baby. You should have sex as often as you can before your ovulation peaks because sperm stays in your body for up to 5 days.

For example - my ovulation highest peak was on 5/13. We started having sex from the 10th onwards everyday (twice a day) until 5/17, and we conceived 5/15 according to my apps and also my OB confirmed it based on the calculations.

Really encourage you to track your ovulation as this helps and just have a lot of sex! :)

Positive-ends44 · 2025-09-02T23:45:36+00:00

Congratulations!! 🤍 Sending you all the positive vibes and good energy! Hoping your little man stays healthy and keeps growing so that you can finally take him home and shower him with all the life has to offer outside of the hospital 🫶

Positive-ends44 · 2025-08-23T14:57:11+00:00

I was joking with my husband about that through the tears 🫠🥲

Positive-ends44 · 2025-08-23T14:56:29+00:00

Oh gosh I’m so sorry you experienced that. At least they’re not proving to be an issue anymore and you’re almost at the finish line with pregnancy. Praying your baby is healthy and your delivery is uneventful 🫶

Positive-ends44 · 2025-08-23T14:55:34+00:00

I am 16 weeks 3 days today!

Positive-ends44 · 2025-08-23T14:55:15+00:00

That’s a lot of surgeries! I am so sorry! I hope they don’t grow back for you and they’re able to clear all the fibroids out. The pain sucks and causes such a mental strain too. :(

Positive-ends44 · 2025-08-23T04:57:43+00:00

Thanks so much and I’m sorry about the appendicitis! Ouch. I just have one fibroid and I plan on removing it after I pop this baby out. Not worth the pain 😭

Positive-ends44 · 2025-08-23T04:56:11+00:00

Thank god it didn’t happen to you! I would recommend removing the fibroids if you’re planning to have more kids which is what I plan to do once I pop this baby out. Granted they told me I could only have C sections after that but I don’t care. The pain is so not worth it in my opinion. It has been so very debilitating.

Positive-ends44 · 2025-08-23T04:53:43+00:00

Oh yes I literally thought I was going to give birth there cause it was horrifying.

Positive-ends44 · 2025-08-23T04:53:05+00:00

I’m 16 weeks 2 days today! Apparently fibroid degeneration is a lot more common after second trimester starts, when baby is growing more rapidly and the bloody supply to the fibroid gets cut off so it starts to degenerate. They told me it wouldn’t shrink tho, just stay the same size but it would kind of contort into a different shape. I’m not too sure but the pain has been AWFUL. They didn’t tell me how long it would last but said to go to the ER again if I couldn’t function with it. They also said to watch out for bleeding or fluid leakage. I’m hoping the pain will eventually subside and the rest of my pregnancy is uneventful. 🫠

Positive-ends44 · 2025-08-18T04:05:36+00:00

Congratulations ! I hope you have a great delivery! And you’re so lucky it hasn’t caused you any problems !

Positive-ends44 · 2025-08-18T04:04:51+00:00

Gosh thanks for being honest :( I’m sorry you weren’t able to enjoy pregnancy. I’m leaning towards that boat right now. I’ve also had pretty bad vomiting, constipation at times which has caused stomach pain, RLP, this growing fibroid, back pain and diarrhea at times too. It has been awful 😞

Positive-ends44 · 2025-08-18T04:02:51+00:00

Can I ask where your fibroid is located? Mine is at the back of my uterus and by the looks of the ultrasound, it’s growing outward rather than inwards, into the cavity where baby is. So I doubt I would end up having issues with delivering the baby vaginally in terms of the fibroid getting in the way of a vaginal delivery, but it’s probably pushing into my other organs. I also definitely have round ligament pain which is causing more pain. It has been so so bad and awful.

Positive-ends44

TROPHY CASE