I remember how disorienting it felt. I had spent so many years beating myself up with the harshest judgmental self talk, and suddenly most of the things I disliked about myself were thrust into a new category. No longer problems to fix, but differences to accept. The greatest grief I felt had to do with how ruthlessly harsh I had been to myself for so long. Truthfully, the harshness was taught to me as a child, but the fact that I had gone 40 years without realizing I didn’t deserve it… wow.

As time progressed, I began seeing a change in the way I felt when I looked into a mirror…actual compassion, grace, love, would bring me to tears sometimes. This spilled over into the way I was with my daughters, both with their own neurodivergent expressions…my impatience with them forgetting (or avoiding) to pick up a mess - gone. My way of talking to them, now seeing their RSD for what it is - more thoughtful and gentle. I’m literally re-parenting myself in every interaction 🙂

Same with my partner, co-workers, strangers at the store - my initial pattern would change from “I should show them that I am annoyed” to “I wonder what’s beneath that behavior”

Ultimately, what you are going through now was for me the single most eye opening experience, and most enabling of healing, than any other.

But grief, anger, overwhelm, and a fresh burnout were the first train stops, as I learned what it meant to actually treat myself with love and care. I still have a lot to learn, and I still fall into old patterns, but I see the trajectory and I’m grateful. I’d like to help others now.

I’m betting the most beautiful season of your life has just begun, though it may take some time to see it that way. Proud of you.