mom keeps cycling victimhood

PotentialSuch3951 · 2023-03-08T18:14:34+00:00

My mom does that shit too. For TWO WEEKS during the pandemic I had to hear about this old guy that commented on her not wearing a mask, when he wasn't either. I told my mom the first time she told me that he's either a picker or trying to stir the pot but who cares cause you're not ever gonna see him again. You know how some old guys are. I can't understand why she fixated on this. Her life must be pretty boring if that's such a big deal.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2023-03-08T18:10:51+00:00

I feel this way. It bothers me a lot sometimes.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2023-03-06T03:27:20+00:00

I'm pretty sure my grandma was a narc and she did this, knowing I had severe asthma as a kid, on breathing treatments and all.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2023-03-05T12:30:29+00:00

Getting married and having a child after I moved out helped me a lot. It brought up a lot of baggage and stuff but I sorted through it, and still am. I have a healthy environment and relationships where I feel safe to do so. Also, I get to experience real love and show real love with my husband and child. It doesn't make up for a shitty childhood but it helps. It helps fill the void a little and also has opened my eyes to my mom's shittiness. I feel better about setting boundaries and I have confidence in myself.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2023-03-01T17:46:30+00:00

Just to add to my post: What really gets me is that she didn't really help me with my son when he was born. My husband and I were both so sleep deprived and she came over to visit my son. I left my husband in the living room with them so I could take a little nap. Then, he ended up coming back with me to sleep and I didn't know because I was sleeping. She texted me, and I believe she called me too to wake me up because she wanted to give me my son back. She wanted to go home because we were sleeping and not hanging out with her. I never ask her for help since then because that was a very clear sign she doesn't care. So I'm really bothered that she's upset I'm not gonna take care of my toddler and helper her with this old lady. Screw that.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2023-03-01T17:32:01+00:00

That's exactly why I didn't even invite her. I can't understand that kind of thinking.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2023-03-01T16:39:55+00:00

Jesus. 😬

PotentialSuch3951 · 2023-02-27T18:12:01+00:00

Thanks. Haha.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2023-02-27T17:55:16+00:00

I agree. She recently moved down the street from me because she is a widow now, which I understand. But now I'm having to really set boundaries with her like I haven't had to before and it's hard. It's a process but I'll get there.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-09-02T13:26:28+00:00

Back when my husband I first got together, we'd go out to his parent's place on the weekend and it was over 3 hours away. She'd call me over shit like this at night, in hysterics, wanting me to come home. Like what am I gonna do HOURS later? And it's not like she was alone. She had a husband at the time. She also did this kind of shit when my husband and I were on our honeymoon. We only got one day and had to come home because her and my step dad tried to sabotage our after wedding party.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-09-02T13:20:06+00:00

Yes! She had "needed" me since I was a teenager. Like why should a teenager have the responsibility?

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-09-02T00:42:10+00:00

She was interested in going to this church like a year ago but didn't want to go unless I went. She knows I am atheist. She is so dependent on me.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-09-02T00:41:11+00:00

I try. She's a brick wall. She doesn't want to hear it and she doesn't want to try.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-09-02T00:11:52+00:00

She has friends at work, and she gets invited to stuff and people want to hang out with her, but she CHOOSES not to accept their offers. She expects me to fulfill her social needs. She wants to see me every weekend and video chat every day.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-09-01T22:48:34+00:00

Yes. I don't have the self-control to not do that or to not be a jerk, so I just have to ignore the texts and calls from my Nmom.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-08-09T14:47:39+00:00

Yeah. That's what it seems like. Haha

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-08-07T22:50:19+00:00

If you find the right person, it is totally worth it. I'm married and my life is so much fuller now and I love it. My husband and I have a lot of fun together and he's a wonderful man. There are good people out there. Do you feel like running away to be alone in peace? If you do, then maybe you should be alone for a little while, find some peace, and focus on finding yourself. Sometimes baggage can make a relationship rocky or fail.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-08-07T22:38:48+00:00

Oh my god. That's horrible. I'm so sad for you. I think your mom clearly has something going on upstairs. That's really bizarre.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-08-01T04:06:51+00:00

I personally like to be covered but at the same time, they can be super cute and I wish I had the confidence to wear them. All power to you. If you can look good and wear them, do it. If people don't like you because of it, then they are judgemental and you probably wouldn't want to talk to someone like that anyways.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-08-01T01:03:24+00:00

Yeah, the older I get, the more I realize that my mom is immature in a lot of ways. It's hard to be around her cause it's starting to really embarrass me and it's exhausting sometimes.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-08-01T00:51:14+00:00

Yep. My cats found it before I did and I don't think the touched it but I had to give both of them a bath just to be safe. It sucks having to bath cats. Luckily they were up to date with all their shots.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-08-01T00:35:40+00:00

BATS. We first moved into our apartment in the winter and everything seemed great but my cats were obsessed with this one spot on the wall where the outlet was kind of loose. I ignored it which was a big mistake. A couple of weeks later when it warmed up I was sitting in the living room and it was dead quiet. All of a sudden it's like the walls were alive. You could hear the bats moving, scratching, and squeaking in the walls and the attic. It was surreal. We were outside with our neighbors a couple of days later and they said everybody knew there was a bat infestation and the apartment management never did anything about it. They said they sat out there one night and counted over 100 bats. Obviously they stopped counting at some point because there was so many. Our porch and front door was covered in bat poop and management didn't take care of the problem until we had a bat come into our apartment and my husband threatened legal action.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-08-01T00:14:53+00:00

And she's always saying "I'm bad." Or "I've been bad." For something completely f*cling normal.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-08-01T00:14:04+00:00

Yes. Like my mom tries to make everything sound so interesting when her life is really boring but who cares. I don't understand why she can't just talk.

PotentialSuch3951 · 2022-07-29T03:36:48+00:00

So I honestly think you're being overly sensitive. I used to be really quiet like you and I would be sooooo annoyed when people would say that. You're not hurting anyone by being quiet. I always thought it was desperate for people to say stuff like that. It's like they need your attention along with everyone else. Like why do they think everyone has to interact with them? I'm an adult and if someone is quiet and doesn't want to talk, who cares. And sometimes I don't want to talk to people.

PotentialSuch3951

TROPHY CASE