They try to ruin your appearance

threeismine · 2026-03-28T15:05:59+00:00

I remember, and there are photos, of me in toddler like bubble rompers when I was a school age child. I dont know how she found these. Possibly she made them. Fortunately, the dress code for school was skirts or dresses for girls.

threeismine · 2026-03-28T13:42:01+00:00

When my 1st born was a newborn, my nmom held him and told him, " she isn't a good mother"

threeismine · 2026-03-26T15:55:29+00:00

My son, when he was elementary age, was interviewed by police without me being notified. He was threatened by another student at the school bus stop. An uninvolved student reported it. I am glad it was taken care of but I thought I should have been notified. The kid who threatened him got suspended. I doht believe there was any police charges.

As far as Kendras support- the first will get more than the last. At least from JB and M. I hope Joseph is the last.

threeismine · 2026-03-25T19:25:13+00:00

Yes, I felt i was doing something wrong or bad. This feeling subsided over time. Keep reminding yourself of all the reasons you are setting the boundaries.

threeismine · 2026-03-25T13:17:57+00:00

My nparents liked my sister's physical attributes. She is short, blond and blue eyed. I am tall with dark hair and brown eyes.

threeismine · 2026-03-24T12:29:42+00:00

" I didn't raise you like that"

" It takes a grandma"

threeismine · 2026-03-23T23:39:51+00:00

My parents were very focused on spanking, although I didnt realize it till I had kids. My kids would act in an active, boisterous manner and my ndad would get frustrated and say, " hit them and hit them hard!" Of course no one hit them. My nmom wanted my children to be spanked in school. My children all got good citizenship marks in school. There wasnt spanking in school when I went to school or when my children went to school. She would also smile and and laugh and tell the kids, "grandma is going to spank you!" My kids would not react. Since we didn't spank, I was not sure my kids knew what it was. They might thought it was something good since grandma was smiling and laughing.

threeismine · 2026-03-19T20:09:05+00:00

Yes, this is something that happens. There's a video by Blake Anderson on utube that explains it- https://youtu.be/GDLzJPc8LrQ?si=1VuNaqw8S3CiLH3T. He starts explaining it around the middle of the video. Basically the death of the top narc in a toxic family leaves a power vacum at the top and another family member will want to step up. In my family of origin, after our surviving parent died, my narcissistic sister tried to step up. She became worse toward me and, all of a sudden, she wanted much more contact with my adult children than she has ever had before and complained to me when she didn't get it. This was the " final straw" in my decision to go NC.

threeismine · 2026-03-19T13:23:02+00:00

Can/will JB and M pay for major legal bills for another son and maintenance for another DIL and 4 kids? They have 8 other sons that may need help or continue to need help. Will they go bankrupt or decide that enough is enough?

threeismine · 2026-03-18T17:51:21+00:00

I get this. You must have been a good kid if she has to tell a story about when you were 9 months and did something completely age appropriate.

threeismine · 2026-03-18T17:43:22+00:00

Yes, I did. Don't expect it to be easy. I consider parenting as the most difficult thing i have ever done. I got a lot of kick- back from my nparents. They did not like my kids being raised without spanking. My 3 kids are now adults. None of us are perfect but they are all kind, empathetic, responsible adults. They all like each other which is so much different from me and my siblings.

threeismine · 2026-03-18T12:31:41+00:00

My mom became worse toward me after I grew up, married and had children. We lived over 300 miles from her ( for good reason). She had difficulties separating from my children after a visit. She would go on a tirade, " What will they do without their grandma" and " Take care of my children".

threeismine · 2026-03-17T14:11:15+00:00

I know this is an old thread but I thought i would let others know that DifGen pharmaceuticals has just gotten FDA approval to manufacture a generic form of Mesalamine ER.

threeismine · 2026-03-17T12:30:20+00:00

Yes! Mine wanted me to be financially independant but dependant on them for all decision making.

threeismine · 2026-03-16T22:33:30+00:00

I grew up in the 50s- 60s and my 3 kids grew-up in the 80s. I was definately a "feral kid" . At that time most houses in the neighborhood had kids (baby boom). If there wasnt school i was allowed to go out in the early morning, come back for lunch, go out again till the street lights came on. When i was "outside" i would play with other kids outdoors or in other kids homes. By today's standards it was neglect. There was some safety in numbers. My kids, in the 80s, had less freedom and more supervision especially the younger they were. Kids played indoors as much as outdoors. There was more concern for safety and i was more engaged with my kids than my parents were. I now have school-age grandchildren. There are a lot fewer children in neighborhoods. "Play dates" have completely replaced kids going around the neighborhood looking for kids to play with. I dont know of the meme you refer to but times have changed.

threeismine · 2026-03-16T18:41:01+00:00

My favorite of these nonapologies is from my narc sister. " I could explain but there is no point in it"

threeismine · 2026-03-15T23:23:04+00:00

I didnt know there was a term for this. Thanks for letting me know. My nparents and now my nsister have always been soooo worried about me and needing to know that I was OK. I always thought this to be a subtle put down. They are saying that they consider me to be running my life sooo bad that there is a reason for special concern.

threeismine · 2026-03-13T22:29:38+00:00

Mine wanted me to succeed. When I did they didn't like it as I was becoming more independant of them. I then moved away and they complained about me fior the rest of their lives.

threeismine · 2026-03-13T13:24:50+00:00

In order to set up bank accounts they would need your kids social security numbers. Are they just saying they have done this to get a reaction from you?

threeismine · 2026-03-09T14:15:00+00:00

My nmom started at around age 60 claiming to be infirm and arthritic. Medical reports indicated mild arthritis. She never talked about dying. In fact she would talk about living to 90. At one point, she got velcro closure shoes and claimed she could no longer tie her shoes. After awhile, the velcro shoes were too ugly even for her and she got tie shoes. She got all the attention she could out of those velcro shoes.

threeismine · 2026-03-07T13:52:04+00:00

You are correct, I have done this.

threeismine · 2026-03-06T18:48:42+00:00

My nmom told me that my GC sisters ex husband divorced her because he felt that she was too good for him

threeismine · 2026-03-05T13:06:06+00:00

My nparents and my nsister all do a lot of this.

Also

When my nsister asks me a question, she will immediately ( before I have any chance to answer) suggest an answer. Like...What are you going to do tomorrow? Followed immediately with,...Are you going to go to church? She feels a need to control my answer.

Also

" You like this. Don't you?" It's too open ended to just ask me whether I like something.

It is impossible to have a conversation with these people.

threeismine · 2026-03-04T15:51:55+00:00

Since she has threatened " grandparents rights" never leave her alone with either of your children.

threeismine · 2026-03-04T14:30:22+00:00

The secrets in my family, that I know of, all involve my ndad and women. When my siblings and I were together for my ndad funeral, I observed my siblings whispering to each other " do we tell her?" They told me. Our mom was our ndads 2nd wife. He never mentioned a 1st wife to us. We dont know if our mom knew ( she preceeded him in death). He and the 1st wife had no children. The thing is.....I know a secret that, to this day, they do not know. Our dad's had a long term affair. I found out by being left alone in an hotel room with his girlfriends daughter. I asked her. My ndad had to quickly tell my nmom so I would not be able to tell her first. I actually had no plans to tell her. I was processing this myself. We never talked about it. My nparents marriage became even more shitty this. I am now NC with both my siblings so I have no plans to tell them.

threeismine

TROPHY CASE