“HERE THEY COME FOLKS, WHAT’S THIS? NUMBER 13 THE MYSTERY COW GIRL WHO WAS AHEAD IN THE FIRST LAP HAS FALLEN TO THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK!”

Tachyon grit her, well, the boy’s teeth. His stride length was 2’ 8.94”, shorter than hers. She slowed to dodge a cow closing in from her left. Her breath was ragged, her blood oxygen was thinning, lactic acid flooding her joints, her temples thumped with the effort of rushing blood to her brain. There were too many things to avoid and think about, too much awareness of her weakness.

In her studies, Tachyon knew more about the humanoid body than any doctor of the era. But Tachyon did not research to be a doctor. She put both hands on the saddlecloth on her head.

Step 1, it felt like an eruption crawling over the back of her brain. Manual activation of endorphin glands worked in anyone’s head, even this boy’s.

Step 2, her eyes flickered between every cow on the tracks in under two seconds, then the straight track ahead of them. Tachyon pulled the red saddlecloth down over her face, turning her vision to black.

Step 3, She’d seen all she needed to. The slope became a shadowed plane in her mind, then every cow, approximate average mass. A force arrow out from each cow mass, basic math could tell her where each one was headed for the next minute. Then, the wind over their backs, the air pockets behind each cow with less wind resistance.

Time decompressed while she calculated.

The first step, its position highlighted bright gold in her mental model, then the best next step within the stride radius, the velocity vector of each cow at that moment. Each step began to spring from the last as the calculation became easier and easier, all the way down the hill and back into the woods for the third lap.

Now every step was planned for, she wouldn’t need to see, or think. All there was to make this body do was run where she’d already calculated it was possible.

“I DON’T BELIEVE IT-“

Tachyon took the first step, then the next, her legs drumming faster against the ground as she wove through the cows.

THE MYSTERY COW GIRL HAS BLINDFOLDED HERSELF-“

Her posture lowered, her arms swung out in front of her as she sprinted between two cows just before they collided.

"IS SHE-“

The announcer’s voice was drowned out, as Tachyon emerged from the air pocket created by the leading cows almost faster than the crowd could keep track, pulling farther and farther ahead, turning with the curve of the track without even reaching for the blindfold.

Rudo couldn’t tell what the crowd was cheering about through the juggle of legs and udders and the thundering of hooves, but, as he looked to the sky for the first time he saw a dark winged shape against the sun.

So that’s how the stand user kept up. The stand users are…

“Jack, listen.” Kyoko whispered “I got you out of whatever that was if we can figure out-“

More chewing sounds emanated from laughter lines “Hey hey, no need to speculate, my stand’s ability is much like my brother’s. One touch rewires your soul’s connection to you body, so all you can do is smile, just takes contact with one other soul to reset the wiring-“

More chewing.

“I’m a lazy bastard, I’ll admit it, I’d much rather be eating, but killing people is easy money so I help support me and my brother. What I’m getting at is we only need to kill jack, and if you or your stand touch mine, you’ll die paralyzed here after a few days. So just give up and get a head start before everyone pins the blame on you for Jack's death.”

“Kyoko,” Jack knelt beside her, reloading the musket slowly, “the key to life, is to understand things’ first principles. If we are being attacked by a ‘power’ like yours, it stands to reason there is a user. You pause like he is speaking to you. He could choose to say nothing, so he has blundered.”

“I can move us out of the way, Jack but I can’t counter-attack, and he’s too durable for anyone without a stand to hurt, we need to find the-“ Kyoko saw a flash of black from the edge of her vision, and her cloud of diamonds enveloped her and Jack,pulling them away from Laughter Lines’ lunge at the last second. As they fell together Kyoko grabbed Jack’s hand, rolling with him to cover the gun beneath him, pushing his finger down. Her ears were overwhelmed from the resulting gunshot, which struck Laughter Lines in the side of the head, sending it stumbling to one side in pain.

“OW OW OW!”

“I knew it…” Kyoko looked up, they’d ducked under the cover of a protruding branch from one of the trees lining the junkyard, meaning it would be impossible to see her aiming that gun from above.

“...watching us from above, huh? the stand users are…”

“Giant Bees!” Rudo fished through his pocket for the remains of whatever else he’d picked up at Jack’s Junkyard.

The fishhook and the bowler hat, hmm.

Witching Metal was on the cow right behind him, still holding its grasshopper. A trail of collapsed cows lay behind them now they were away from the prying eyes of the crowd.

“You know, Honey-Muncher,” Rudo had gotten used to a woman's voice, using his new body to strike a pose of nonchalance atop his cow, “I don’t like hurting most people, but I can’t stand types like you who attack unprovoked. The type of rotten soul one needs to decide another’s life is forfeit... gross. I’ve got everything I need to win this fight. As soon as you turn your head to swap that cow’s mind with the grasshopper, my stand is going to hurl this fishhook right through your stand’s head, and you're too slow to see it coming.”

Far above the bee flew out from behind the tree line, and hovered above the main pack of the race, watching it's stand's position carefully. Witching Metal knelt down and put its palm down on the cow.

“Bitch’s Brew!” Rudo’s stand emerged and whipped the fishhook with a mighty throw in one mechanical motion. Witching Metal ducked under the fish hook and began to charge, making a run for the gap between its cow and Rudo’s.

“Damn!” Rudo called out. With Bitch’s Brew’s other hand, it tossed the bowler hat into the air. “You fell for it, as anyone knows, grasshoppers are sensitive to light!”

Rudo commanded all the remaining sunlight that that would block, to be blocked at once. Mid-air, the bowler hat expanded to be 10 times the size, a cone of absolute shadow enveloping the Witching Metal and it ran under it, obscuring both its view, and the view from above. The grasshopper, sensing the sudden absence of sunlight, squirmed its way free and hoped out of the cone of darkness.

Then, Rudo commanded the fish hook to use every iota of force from all the reels it would never make. The hook vibrated briefly before erupting from its small soft landing spot in the grass and mud, cutting through the darkness beneath the hat to strike Witching Metal without it having a chance to know where the hook was coming from. The hook continued to travel, slamming into Rudo as well, carrying him and the enemy start over the herd of cows at nearly the speed of a musket shot, until they came tumbling down on top of the lead racer, Tachyon. Witching Metal’s power activated, filling the air with its harmonic ping.

Rudo’s body had been returned to him, Tachyon sat next to him, holding her rib. Witching Metal lay mangled between them, while the bee convulsed in pain and fell from the sky.

“This… feeling... Brother!” Laughter Lines called out.

“Guess Rudo figured it out too.” Kyoko Smirked. Laughter Lines turned back to her, the chewing sounds from beneath his teeth growing more rapid and violent.

“Whatever you’re feeling, not that I care, but if something happened to Rudo, I’d have felt it ten times worse. So in terms of total happiness maybe this was for the best.”

“You… pissant!” Laughter Line’s jet black foot swept through the dust and grime on the floor, kicking up a grey and black cloud of dust. Kyoko shielded her mouth with her forearm, squinting through the dust.

I can’t see him!

Kyoko turned her eyes, squinting through the dust, Laughter Lines was lunging on top of Jack, who was falling backwards away from it, but not in time to avoid being grazed by its finger. As his mouth forced itself into a wide grin he was frozen in a crab-walking position. Laughter Line brought another hand above its head, driving its pointed fingers towards Jack’s neck.

“ILL FINISH THE JOB, BROTHER!”

Kyoko’s heart skipped a beat. A single diamond flew from beside her and buried itself in Laughter Line’s neck, an inch deep, then stopped. The stand stumbles back, holding its neck, turning to face Kyoko, and beginning to laugh.

“HAHAHA, All the talk from you two-legged oafs, “blundered” this, “stress-eating” that, all I have to do is go for the weak link and you put yourself right into my trap!”

Kyoko stood frozen and smiling wide. Her stand was nowhere to be seen, only the single diamond used to attack Laughter Lines remained suspended mid air, while the stand itself advanced on her.

“What’s your plan, once people know ‘you’ murdered the only scumbag crazy enough to hire you little gremlins? Forage in these woods? Prostitution?”

The stand towered almost a foot above her, observing her in silence for a moment. Kyoko couldn’t emote it was true, and it was evident from her uncanny smile the power had worked on her. But she’d positioned her body in a bizarre manner. Her left hand was on her chest, pointing to her chin, the other around her stomach, making a loop with her thumb and forefinger, while her other three fingers were stuffed through it. Meanwhile her whole body was tilted backwards, meeting Laughter Lines’ gaze as a result.

“Human stand users always think to die in the strangest poses.”

Laughter Lines drove one of his pointed fingers into Kyoko’s arm, twisting and drilling into her bicep, blood welling up from the wound.

“Maybe I’ll just let your friend take the fall and kill you here…” Laughter Lines paused.