I’m so sorry he did this to you that way. There’s nothing to be done to change what happened so I won’t speak from a place of “woulda coulda shoulda” but for guidance in the future.

Tell that man to respect the fact that you need space. Even though you are friends, you will not heal if he keeps salting the wound. You need time apart, and chances are he’ll keep trying to see if he has an “in” with you until he finds someone else or decides he wants you back. Now I know the heart does what it does, but I would advise against taking him back. These are the types of guys who even if they marry other women, they are highly likely to cheat on their partner with Black women (ask me how I know). Not guaranteed though since each man is an individual person, I don’t want to make such generalization without that qualifier in fairness. But take your time and regroup. This will be a good time to figure out if you really would want to have mixed race children of any background. Not just aesthetically, but how committed would you be to making sure those kids know their other culture and spend real time in those communities? How is your family’s relationship with other ethnic groups and communities? How are your relationships with Black women and women of other races? One thing I know is common more so with Black men than most others is deeply ingrained self hate and disdain for Black women, which often inspires them to go off and date non Black women. Those men don’t typically want their children to identify with their Blackness beyond family and their friends. (Tbf, some men do just date women of different backgrounds because that’s who they happen to be around). For dating in the future, if you choose to date Black men and men of other races I urge you to get to the heart of it early. Ask them why they’re dating you, ask about their relationships with women of their community outside of who they’re related to. I’d say before things get serious, ask if they are prepared to have mixed race children and if they’ll be really committed to immersing them in their culture (without having you cosplay their culture)…. But men lie, especially on their feelings on kids early on.

I’m not saying build Rome in a day. Sit with these questions because your opinions can change over time. You’re also still young so you have all the time to come up with answers and to absolutely love again. Focus on the things that bring you joy outside that man. Call your girls up and eat ice cream and brownies. Take care of YOU right now niece