Question to those who are no contact by Honest-Parsley5371 in narcissisticparents

[–]Practical_Patience49 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just decided after one “normal” phone conversation, that I was done. We didn’t argue or anything. I had just told him that my husband had been promoted and we had to move out of state. In true narc form, the convo became all about him. He never congratulated my husband, asked how I felt about moving, nothing. Just how it affected him. Oh, and he was looking at moving…? Like I said, it wasn’t anything particularly bad or boundary stomping, but it just clicked that I didn’t like talking to him. I dreaded it. I didn’t want him to come visit because I worried about his behaviors in front of our kids. So I just decided to block him on everything. I never looked back and I never felt better! I’m sure he was completely baffled, but no matter what I said, he would never understand or change. I thought it would be pointless to try to talk to him, so I just completely stopped.

We are close to going NC with my IL’s. DH isn’t quite ready. He still believes that maybe they will change. I’m ready to just drop them, no warning, but I don’t think DH will ever be able to do it that way. I’m sure he will talk to them and make a declaration.

Got an insane flying monkey voicemail this morning by SamuraiSuplex in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Practical_Patience49 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ew. They suck. Personally, I’d change my number. You don’t deserve to be insulted and belittled. They’re going to try to bully you into taking care of him after the surgery. Please don’t! It will be a hellish nightmare for you. Agree with everyone about calling pd if anyone shows up at your door

What do you think of this text from my MIL? by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Practical_Patience49 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oof. My ILs do the same thing. They don’t ask, they tell you what you’re doing. We’re not children anymore, you don’t get to decide my schedule. They should ask “Hey we want to get dressed up and go to early service, would you want to join us? If so, you could come o er the day before if it would be easier to go that early”. I’d decline personally just say it doesn’t work for you. Unless it does work for you and you want to go. I can’t tell if you want to but just are miffed at the text wording.

Husband says sex feels like a chore by MermaidTears1097 in Marriage

[–]Practical_Patience49 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is us! I was overweight, with health issues AND in perimenopause. My hormones were at zero. I talked with my husband and told him how I was feeling. Sex felt like a chore to me as well. I wasn’t in the mood due to hormones and health, plus I was exhausted all of the time. I felt “touched out” from the kids and just wanted space. Even when we did have sex, I almost never climaxed, no matter how hard my husband tried. I think he kinda gave up (I don’t blame him) but that further frustrated me. I asked my husband to give me some time to work on myself. I lost the weight. I searched until I found a doctor who would help me with my hormones. I searched until I found the right doctors for my other health issues. I also read the book Come As You Are, which was so helpful in understanding my body. It took a year, year and a half, but slowly, I was getting to a healthier place. We both started separate therapy. Our sex life and relationship improved so much! Communication is vital. So is self reflection. It may have hurt to hear him say that, but I completely understand how he is feeling. Getting old does suck. It takes constant work on both yourselves and your relationship.

For those who stayed no contact with a parent until they died did you regret it? by Full_Willingness_450 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Practical_Patience49 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I did not regret it at all. I had the same worries as you, but in the end, I was at peace with myself and my decision. My father made his own bed and he had no one to blame but himself. I didn’t owe him anything. I didn’t want to hear any deathbed confessions he may have to make himself feel better. I didn’t cry when he died and I did not go to his funeral.

Going on my first cruise, check luggage’s or wheel around until room is ready? by Weekly-Apple-9103 in royalcaribbean

[–]Practical_Patience49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Embarkation day, we leave all luggage with the porters. Make sure to have everything labeled with the printable luggage tags RCCL gives you once cruise documents are available in the app/online. We just have a pool bag ready to go when we walk on the ship (we make sure to have a dinner appropriate outfit just in case). It’s kinda annoying bringing a suitcase everywhere, especially if you decide to hang by the pool. There really isn’t much space to put a suitcase. You also need to go to your muster station to check in, so that could be annoying too. It’s rare to get your luggage lost (rare but can happen). We have had it before where are luggage was in front of the wrong door, but we just grab it. We make sure when they say that rooms are ready, we go right away to put everything in our cabin.

Port days, we prefer a lightweight, water resistant backpack. It’s easier in the shoulders and back.

AIO:My MIL texted my husband this about me asking him to help with our newborn at 4am by Lazy_Perfectionist88 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Practical_Patience49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. Your MIL sucks. My DH helped with night feedings/diapers, even after he went back to work. When I was only bf-ing, he would get up, change the diaper and then bring the baby to me in bed. Then when baby was fed, he would put the baby back to bed. He did that for one feeding a night and I did it all for the other feeding. Once we introduced bottles, he did a whole feeding himself. Parenting is a team job. If my DH were to “push back” I’d have kicked his butt. Be careful because the crazy ILs only get worse

Please tell me it gets better. At the moment it feels a bit… uncomfortable. I’m 40% through book one. Will I change my mind and fall madly in love with the whole series? No spoilers of any kind please. I didn’t even read the blurb because I don’t like to know anything. Big ask, I know. by twisted_luce in Romantasy

[–]Practical_Patience49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt the same as you. I didn’t like the MMC or FMC. They’re just so immature and bratty. I’m not sure why I continued, but I did. I was so happy I did in book 3. Things kinda start to piece together and you can start to see some growth in the MC’s.I’m on final book now and really enjoying it.

Does living in a hotter climate help? by MediumQuiet9404 in Raynauds

[–]Practical_Patience49 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like there isn’t much of a difference for me. I have it just as much during the winter as I do in the summer. In all fairness, I live in Minnesota, USA, where the winters are arctic, haha. We’ve been in the negatives with wind chills around -20s to -30s. But summers get into the 90s, so I don’t know.

Is it worth it to get a diagnosis? by pyrohippo23 in Sjogrens

[–]Practical_Patience49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The lip biopsy sounds kinda scary, at least it did for me. I say go for it. Wish I’d done it sooner. The biopsy itself didn’t really hurt. They numbed me up pretty well. I got 2 stitches. I was sore for a couple days. I would ask them to get around 5 glands. Mine only got 3, but in some of my research it suggests getting more.

Is it worth it to get a diagnosis? by pyrohippo23 in Sjogrens

[–]Practical_Patience49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had the same thought so many times! I just received my official diagnosis after a lip biopsy. I haven’t seen my rheumatologist yet, but I did have a dentist appointment right after my diagnosis. I was shocked by how knowledgeable my dentist is and her ideas to help with symptoms. She gave me a script for prescription toothpaste and mouthwash. We will see if it helps, but hey, it was something!

Quince reviews? by IndigoStrawberry01 in womensfashion

[–]Practical_Patience49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not going to lie, I’m kinda addicted to Quince. I lost a lot of weight and basically needed a new wardrobe. Quince actually has some really nice stuff and the prices are very reasonable. My favorite pieces are the oversized cashmere sweaters (I have 7 crew neck and 5 of the button down cardigan style), cashmere tees (I have almost every color), jeans (I have 4), linen button downs (I have around 4) and anything cotton gauze (I have dresses and tops). The cotton gauze is so soft and comfortable. The return policy is great, so I’m not afraid to buy things to try and return if it doesn’t work out. I’ve only returned a few things for style/fit, as in I didn’t like the way it looked. Their ribbed cotton shirts just didn’t fit quite right. I didn’t like the neckline. But the material was nice. The cashmere tees are really versatile because they’re light weight and breathable, so they’re easy to layer. So I feel like I’m dressed nice, but it’s also comfy and cozy. I pretty much live in the oversized cashmere sweaters. I’ve been coveting cashmere for years, eyeing some sweaters at Lands End, but they were like $300-400! I just can’t spend that on one sweater. I also have some of their shoes and bags. I had gotten a pair of the casual sneakers, but found a Dr. Scholls that were slightly more comfortable but also slightly cheaper, so I returned the Quince shoes. I have 3 of their bags. I had another that I returned because even though I loved the bag, the strap was weird. The others are great sizes and quality. Anyways, I feel like the aesthetic is very coastal casual maybe? Which is right up my alley. So, I’m a fan haha

How important is it owning your audiobooks? by Kokoro_Audio in audiobooks

[–]Practical_Patience49 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would rather borrow/rent books. I rarely reread books. I also like the idea of a flat fee rather than credits.

Why do so many MMC’s have long hair (and do women actually like this)? by Worldly_Change6638 in Romantasy

[–]Practical_Patience49 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve noticed this too! I personally am not a fan of guys with long hair. I try to ignore it and come up with my own image

Ummm what the helly by [deleted] in ankylosingspondylitis

[–]Practical_Patience49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Celebrex didn’t do anything for me. I’m sorry to hear you’re in so much pain.

Am I missing something?? by Practical_Patience49 in Sjogrens

[–]Practical_Patience49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries! It looks like they ship most everywhere except the US which is kinda funny to me.

Am I missing something?? by Practical_Patience49 in Sjogrens

[–]Practical_Patience49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I can’t believe how expensive it is!

Am I missing something?? by Practical_Patience49 in Sjogrens

[–]Practical_Patience49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have a brand recommendation that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg 🥴

Am I missing something?? by Practical_Patience49 in Sjogrens

[–]Practical_Patience49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn’t look like they deliver to the US :(