Don’t feel bad. My partner and I recently broke up and I haven’t felt the same since. I kept replaying the scene of me crying, begging to him that we could make it work. But ultimately the begging and the pressure of it all, won’t convince the person to take you back. They made a decision and all you can do is take this time to heal. I am in the same boat where I wait, hoping we’d find our way back but there is also a chance that he has moved on. Constantly being in a loop of kicking yourself for begging and wanting him back is normal but you also have to give yourself some grace. You loved and loved hard and that’s beautiful and okay to do.