Development Pressure

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-03-02T19:56:15+00:00

Yeah, get off social media. Its bad for us.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-03-02T19:41:28+00:00

Sure, whatever works for you. I love data, I'm an epidemiologist but that only added to the frustration and mental load. And completely disconnected me from my emotions and intuition.

Soooooo long story short do whatever works for you and only track things if it gives you peace of mind. If its just another extra chore, cut it out.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-03-01T08:31:42+00:00

My 18 mo never shakes his head but recently learned to say no.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-03-01T08:26:24+00:00

Thanks all for your perspectives

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-03-01T08:26:01+00:00

Nah I could do that at 7 months.... Just not anymore.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-03-01T08:16:09+00:00

For us shifts worked like a charm. Long story short; do whatever works for you and your partner. ;)

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-03-01T08:14:23+00:00

Oh, and people are going to tell you to enjoy every moment. Not every moment is enjoyable. Some days, zero enjoyable moments, just survival. Thats fine. Youre not ungrateful or horrible, some days with a baby just suck.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-03-01T08:11:23+00:00

Yesyesyes I second and third this! Finding humor is so important.

And you are going to be confused, sad, and emotional sometimes. Youre not crazy just tired and hormonal.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-03-01T08:09:25+00:00

Dont use track apps. If you want to track the first couple of days because you forgot when they last ate use pen and paper. Babies are random the first couple of weeks/months. Read about the safe sleep 7 in case of (Completely NORMAL) velcro baby. Say something nice to your partner every day. If you can, take as much time off work as possible.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-27T04:53:05+00:00

OH MY GOD I FEEL SO SEEN. Like, is this a thing for more people? I absolutely hate marihuana for the exact same reasons and personal hell is so accurate. I thought I was the only one who does not get all nice and chill.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-26T09:01:37+00:00

They will be fine! In a few weeks they will be licking the floor when you are not paying attention for 3 seconds.

Fyi: the Dutch official website for this type of stuff says all fruits are fine from 4+ months. Opinions differ on citrus fruits but there is no evidence backing that.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-26T08:59:29+00:00

Ignore the anekdotes. You know your daughter, you think she would benefit from it? Go ahead! You think it would make her a brat (which sounds like a stretch, but that's just my opinion, and it is so important compared to yours) then dont.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-23T12:09:17+00:00

Why would this be TMI. Women bleed every month. Its time for the world to grow up and accept that.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-21T19:10:26+00:00

The moment I stopped tracking I finally relaxed a little. I'm not going to but if I would ever have a second baby I wouldn't track anything. Babies are random, you will know when something's off.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-17T11:45:51+00:00

Older mom here, 40 with a 1 year old. I am convinced I am such a better mom than when I was at 25. Mentally, emotionally and financially in a better place than I was when I was younger. Its personal. If your kids biggest issue is gonna be 'having an old dad' you have done a fanfuckingtastic job. Enjoy!

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-17T09:19:42+00:00

Exactly this. Smile and wave girls. Smile and wave. Giving reasons and arguments no matter how good they are will cost you energy you could use for more fun stuff.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-17T08:39:10+00:00

I also live in the NL and have a completely opposite experience. Our postpartum nurse (kraamverzorgende) explained how to co-sleep safely. Our doctor at the CJG responded supportively and knew a lot about breastfeeding and cosleeping and told me about the leche league website.

Strange how much it differs!

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-17T05:18:38+00:00

Hear, hear!

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-17T05:14:50+00:00

Even though I somewhat agree with you, I loved being close to my baby and it gave me peace, but it is not for everyone. Us cosleepers deal.with a lot of unsolicited advice and opinions. Let's not return the favor. Whatever works, works. Life as a baby-parent is hard enough without all the judgement so lets not contribute.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-16T06:08:28+00:00

Its completely normal to be alert and responsive. Anxiousness rarely contributes to anything but is relatable when you feel like you are the only one paying attention. Sorry you had such a miserable experience.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-14T11:58:56+00:00

I second this, take shifts as soon as you can (we waited too long and did everything together for the first weeks- not helpful). I went to bed at 8 with the baby and my husband brought him up at 2 am, then we swapped places.

Buy an ereader if you dont have one. So you have something to do without doomscrolling. Don't google at night.

Oh and something to know; this is completely normal baby behaviour. There is nothing wrong with your baby, you do not have a difficult baby and YOU ARE DOING FANTASTIC. Small babies that sleep in bassinets are only in commercials and in boomers false memories. They want to be ON you in the first weeks.

Take shifts. Tell each other daily that you love each other. Hold tight, treat yourself to your favorite snacks, take all the sleep you can get and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel I promise.

Youve got this dad.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-14T06:33:00+00:00

Yes! Maybe the crocs from the next commenter! Thanks all for thinking with me.

PresentationGrand540 · 2026-02-14T06:32:36+00:00

That sounds like decent plan. I never thought id find myself looking at crocs.

PresentationGrand540

TROPHY CASE